“The Okie Doke Pass”
Name: Janette VictimBehavior: Freeloading Moocher Reason For Pass: Father was not present in life.
Name: Tyrell Drama Behavior: Constant negative attitude, self-centeredness, gossip Reason For Pass: Family is poor
What you see above is what you would normally call a hall pass. The hall p ass in a school setting normally allows a student to go from one area of the school to another without getting in trouble. It allows a student permission to be somewhere where they normally are not allowed to be. It also stops someone of authority from asking a lot of questions and reprimanding a student for not being where he or she is supposed to be. In the movie Hall Pass two wives give their husband a “hall pass” for the weekend so that they can sleep with as many women as they wan t with the hope that by weekend’s end the husbands will stop talking about having sex with other women as much. All would be forgiven on Monday because of the hall pass.
After watching that movie and thinking about what the word “hall pass” means, I began to think about people in all of our lives that are given hall passes. Meaning no matter what they are doing to others, or no matter what kind of negative behavior they are displaying, society normally gives them a hall pass and the bad behavior is excused and often forgiven without question. Now since a lot of us are not in school anymore, I thought I would change the title of hall pass to the “Okie Doke” pass. Okie doke usually means, “Ok, whatever, no problem.” That is often the attitude we have when someone in our lives causes turmoil and stress. Constantly, we are excusing issues that others are creating for us day to day. For example, do you know people who never ever bring anything to a party? They come with nothing but their hunger, or their thirst. They want to drink up everyone’s alcohol, eat up all the food, and then carry out a plate. Often times we let them do this because someone says, “They are poor, and they can’t afford to bring something.” Yet we see them out at the club kicking it or buying some new shoes, or even a new car, yet they cannot stop by the store and get two bags of chips? Often times, we are told to “Let it go.” Thus they have just been given “The Okie Doke” pass meaning, their bad behavior has just been excused and they are allowed to continue on with their negative behavior because of their life situation.
Everyone has that relative or friend that is constantly stirring up trouble. They are constantly raising hell, finding fault with everyone or everything, and gets on everybody’s nerves. Yet instead of addressing the behavior, we are walking around on eggshells around this person for fear of confrontation or for fear that they are going to go off. “Well he or she has had it hard.” “They got a lot to handle...” Who doesn’t? We all have problems. This person has just been given The Okie Doke Pass. The behavior has been excused because of a situation that happened years ago.
Where is the accountability? When do people begin to learn from their situations and use them as a vessel to get them to where they need to be in life? Often times, we just say “Pray for that person.” Yes, that is well and good as prayer is always in order, but that in essence can sometimes be an “Okie Doke” pass. Sometimes, the behaviors that are frustrating us need to be addressed. How is a person ever to learn from his her actions if there is no consequences from the negative actions? Why do we continue to give people the same old “Okie Doke Pass”? What is up with that?
We see this pass given out a lot in our public school systems, particularly our inner-city or urban schools. Often times, we give students passes for their behavior based on our assumptions about their situations. We excuse a child for not bringing in the adequate supplies to class, because “he is so poor…” yet they have expensive cellular phones and shoes. We continue to allow students to return to the classroom after they have cursed out teachers, harassed other students, and are a threat to the overall safety of the school but, “he has no father in the home..” is the excuse that is given and the student is let off the hook, he just received “The Okie Doke Pass” These children then turn into adults who continue to think that this behavior is normal and accepted and that society will continue to give them a pass for their actions. Most of these kids then get the shock of their lives when they realize the rest of the world simply is just not that way.
We have to stop excusing negative behaviors and actions, while yes we do not want to give energy to a lot of negative actions and behaviors, sometimes we have to address it otherwise the person will continue to think that their behavior is okay and acceptable because it has been allowed to go on for so long unchecked. While yes, it may not change the behavior, the more people that challenge the person’s ways, the more uncomfortable they will become with the negative actions.
