2011: A Year of Growth and Growing Pains

2011: A Year of Growth & Growing Pains
by Chris L. Gilrath II

As another year comes to a close, I think of all the clichés that are thrown out there such as New Year resolutions and promises. As this year comes to close I think it is important to reflect on your year and what it brought you and how you are going to use it to grow further the next year. As Mary J. Blige said, “There are so many things that are used as vessels to get us where we need to be in life.” And that is a quote that really sticks with me. So many things have happened this year good and bad that have me where I am right now going into 2012. What a journey it has been. I have grown a lot this year, but with growth there are what we call “Growing Pains” and no I am no talking about that show with Robin Thicke’s daddy on it, I am talking about the struggles and drama that come with growing and coming into your own sense of who you are.

There were a lot of things that came into my orbit in 2011, where do I even begin? I will start with the growth I have experienced as a writer. I began to understand that God has really brought me into harboring and nurturing this gift to share with the word. I am very excited at that prospect. However, it has not been so sunny. Whenever you try something new and make it your focus, you have people who oppose what you are doing. One of the struggles is still that gravitational pull towards teaching in the traditional sense or the safe occupation. It has been very frustrating that some will not or choose not to acknowledge my gift and that that this is what I choose to make my focus. I am qualified and I have the God-given talent, however some of my friends and family seem reluctant to separate me from my past teaching job, and right now my profession, as a teacher is non-existent. I do not have the same passion for a traditional teaching job that I once did and feel like I can grow more and do more by doing more outside of that area, so I will keep working at it till it works out.

This year was definitely a breakout year for me. I decided to venture out and make my dreams happen by relocating to California. I keep reflecting on the journey and still in shock that I now call Los Angeles my home after many years of wanting to dream to happen, God finally allowed it happen by allowing me to go through the last couple of years that I have gone through. I am now out there pursuing my dreams in and interests. My family and friends out there have been so supportive and helping me get to that level, they have opened so many doors. I am so grateful for the crew in California who have embraced me and held me up. You have made the transition so much easier. I am thankful for those who support me and cheer me on from the Midwest. It has been hard; I had to do it for me. I appreciate you for supporting me. Not everyone has been supportive and I have lost some friends who do not understand that I no longer choose to do what is safe and I stepped out of my comfort zone. I know understand that in order to grow and change I had to leave some relationships in the past. I have also realized that some of the dynamics of some the friendships I thought were solid have also changed. That has been a hard pill to swallow, but I have swallowed it.

I lost my dear Aunt Benita this year and that was definitely a setback. I thought

about did she know how I felt about her? We often take so many people in our lives for granted and we do not realize the impact that that person had on our lives until it is too late. I just had no idea that she was that ill, but I guess I knew in the back of my head. I remember feeling guilty at first for leaving on my journey while she was struggling but I reflect back on our last conversation before I left out on my journey and how much of a support she was and her well wishes, so that gives me peace. I definitely miss her but rejoice on the impact that she made on so many people and the lives she touched, and the battles she fought. She will truly be missed, but we will see each other again. I honor her life, by living mine to the fullest and best of my ability. I have to not complain, as she did not. I encourage others even when I do not feel at my best as she did. Life will go on, and that is how she would want it.

As mentioned earlier, some of the dynamics of my friendships changed. With growth, that happens. Some are not ready for your growth or your change. I have seen some friends who have been afraid to step out of faith and live out of their comfort zones, be upset with me because I chose to do it. It seems as if some people want to keep you in a box. So many people define you by your occupation, relationship status, manhood, and financial success. I do not like being put in a box or being defined by one category. It is extremely frustrating. Some friends stop calling you or act is they are too busy. Some relatives make nasty negative comments because you are making the most of your life, and they are not. If you are to grow, this has to happen. As hard as it has been, I keep going. I find as if sometimes I have to apologize for not doing the traditional things that others do, or I catch myself explaining myself to others but as Minister Cynthia Saddler said to me, “You should not have to waste time explaining your actions and dreams to others.” That has really stuck with me this year yet sometimes I forget that.

As 2011 leaves us and we embark on 2012, I plan on it being the year where people

know that I am not playing around. I am going for mine. I am living my dreams and have made successes. I have already got my website launched and preparing to take that to the next level. As 2012 enters into your life, what do you plan to do with it? Do you plan on having another year like the last one where you just go through the motions and live every day like the last? Are you going to step out on faith and take a chance? Maybe there are relationships you need to strengthen. Maybe you need to go out and find that dream job. Perhaps there are people who you let to continue to frustrate you and it harbors in your heart. Maybe there is some forgiveness that you need to do both of yourself and for others. It is time to put the past to sleep and wake up in your present and get yours. As you grow, there will be growing pains. You will be encouraged, but also be opposed. You will have support but also have haters. Remember 2011 was a vessel to get you to where you to need to be in 2012. What you do on that vessel is completely up to you.

The Best Christmas Songs

It is the time of the year where we celebrate the birth of our savior Jesus Christs, and cherish our families, friends, and significant others. We go down the Soul Train line at the holiday parties, dance, karaoke, and eat till our hearts content, then we open presents and bask in the day. BUT no party, dinner, or tree trimming is complete without GOOD, GOOD Christmas Music. What makes your list? What are those Csongs that just give you so much joy, that you light up whenever you hear them. When you hear the songs you think CHRISTMAS. Here is my list. See if you agree:

1. This Christmas - Donny Hathaway
The ULTIMATE Christmas Jam! It is simply not Christmas until this song comes on! Many have tried to duplicate and remake it [props to The Whispers and Chris Brown] but NOTHING is like the original! Before CD's I used to have to wait until Thanksgiving, and I remember when Thanksgiving came I would be so excited, not because of the turkey, but because I know KPRS would play This Christmas by Donny and you knew the season was here! So MANY memories attached to this song. OK getting a little emotional...! A little vklempt talk amongst yourselves..."

2. Soul Holiday - Sounds of Blackness
3. The Christmas Song - Nat King Cole/This Whispers
4. White Christmas - The Drifters
5. What Do The Lonely Do At Christmas - The Emotions
6. Please Come Home For Christmas - Charles Brown
7. Merry Christmas Baby - Charles Brown/Otis Redding
8. At Christmastime - Luther Vandross
9. Sleigh Ride - TLC
10. Give Love On Christmas Day - Jackson Five/Johnny Gill
11. This Christmas - The Whispers
12. Happy Holidays - The Whispers
13. All I Want For Christmas Is You - Mariah Carey
14. When You've Got Love (It's Christmas All Year Long) - The Stylistics
15. Let It Snow - Boyz II Men & Brian McKnight
16. Silent Night - The Temptations
17. Rudolph The Red Nose Reindeer - The Temptations
18. Hallelujah (A Soulful Celebration) - Various Artists
19. Christmas In The City - Mary J. Blige
20. Santa Claus Going Straight To The Ghetto - James Brown
21. My Christmas Gift - Alexander O'Neal
22. I Can Hardly Wait For Christmas - The O'Jays
23. Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas - The O'Jays
24. Jesus Is The Reason For The Season - Kirk Franklin & The Family
25. Baby It's Cold Outside - Ray Charles & Betty Carter

It simply is NOT the Holiday season until I hear these songs!

NOOOOO TRAIN AWARDS: A Look At The 2011 Soul Train Awards

The only reason I knew it was the 40th Anniversary of Soul Train last night at the Soul Train awards was the old footage they were showing on the stage, and a few celebrities saying, "I can't believe it has been 40 years.."

Well I cannot either. I can't believe that for a show that has been such a staple in not just African-American homes but a staple for all cultures in America, that was the best the executives at BET and Centric had to offer. Now to say I am overly critical is an understatement. Last night's award show was an insult to legacy of Soul Train and to the honorees that they chose to honor. Since there were so many misses last night. It might be easier for me to talk about the few hits that did occur before I get into the misses.

Soul Train Award High Points/Hits:
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The Robin Thicke performance: Robin is following the legacy of Teena Marie and Lisa Stansfield. The only way you would not know this guy was a brotha was to see him live and you would see. Other than that, he is a soul crooner. He possessed a confidence that reminded me of Teena Marie that said, "You can't pigeonhole me into pop or country..I'm a SOUL singer." Having him sing on the award show gave the floundering ceremony a much needed boost!"

Jill Scott - Best Female Award: Soul Train got it right with this one. She is one of the best out there and she is truly an UnSung talent. She should have been asked to sing on the Gladys Knight tribute (more to come on that later)...

Anthony Hamilton - Not really sure what was up with the KFC Bucket on his head but he gave a soulful performance.

The Time or The Original 7. - Having all these guys back together on stage reminded us of what we miss in Funk, Soul and R&B. Concepts, entertainment, and fun. A fun performance. They still got it and LOVE, LOVE how they are able to conform to the time while staying true to their old school roots by developing a song called "#tredning" an omage to TWEEPS everywhere. Love it!

The Heavy D Tribute - Pay attention young people, this is what REAL Hip-Hop sounds like. Without, the legends you saw on that stage last night such as Whoodini, Kurtis Blow, Big Daddy Kane, and the late Heavy D, there would be no hip-hop today. This was when hip hop was fun! I don't know what its about today. I am still confused.

Valerie Simpson - What a pillar of strength! To accept that award on behalf of her late husband, Nick Ashford with such grace. It is about time these two got their just props. They have basically written every popular song in popular culture. Their legacy is truly underappreciated. Now, every year they will have their legacy remembered with The Ashford & Simpson songwriting award. NICE! Now for the honoree they chose this year....more to come in low points!

Cederic The Entertainer: Loved his hosting, he kept it clean but kept it funny.

LOW POINTS/WTH MOMENTS/& EPIC FAILS!:

Was Cee-Lo green paying tribute to Elton John, Elvis, or Frankie Avalon, the guardian angel in Greese? I was confused. And the taco meat on his chest....

The Gladys Knight tribute was awkward and insulting. The Pips concept was cute and original to have three R&B male singers give props to them, but then they ruined it by having TAMAR (not Toni) Braxton sing "Love Overboard". Does she even have an album? What hits does she have? I am confused by that. Why not have Jill Scott do a tribute. Where was Alicia Keys? Natalie Cole redeemed the tribute at the end but everything before it was an insult. And Gladys herself was trying to be a little too Mya Angelou and not Gladys last night. When she commented on the recent Harry Belafonte blunder of him going to sleep on the air and saying, "Do you ever think he is just tired from all the years of struggle..?" Come on Gladys, you know that is a complete stretch. Where were singers like Whitney, Chaka, Alicia, Mariah, and Jill Scott who was in the audience. You can have legends pay tribute to legends it is OK.

Lloyd and Miguel: Based off the audience reaction, they were just as confused as I was. Especially Miguel. What was that about? The tight pants? Maybe that is why he sings so high pitch. I hope he does not wear too many of those tight pants, he is gonna get jock itch and that is NEVER fun. Maybe that is why he looked so dazed last night. Lloyd's suit look like he got into a fight with a dust monster before he got on stage. Come on brotha. Take a cue from Eric Benet's fashion book.

Marsha Ambrosius: At the risk of sounding rude, and please forgive me, but come on. First off having her sing the tribute to Gladys after she botched the Patti tribute at the BET awards? I am so confused. And all of the long flowing gowns. I think they come from the Loretta Lynn or Dolly Parton collection. To say that it was doing too much was saying the least. And to give her the songwriting award named after Ashford & Simpson? Just a a suggestion Soul Train, I would in the future recommend that this be another tribute to a songwriter who has followed in the footsteps of the legendary couple such as Alicia Keys, Babyface, Jill Scott. Marsha Ambrosius has only been out a few years.

Mindless Behavior: Enough said!

The First Half of EWF Tribute: Miguel and whoever that girl was who was supposed to look like an EWF Angel? It was just creepy. EWF members did not look like they where to thrilled either. Lalah Hathaway, Eric Benet, Joe, and Robin Thicke saved that tribute.

Cutting of EWF: Just giving EWF two seconds to sing while the credits where coming on was a direct insult. After we were subjected to so much mind numbing and "Mindless Behavior" that was awful.

The Presenters: Now this award show is not the first in its history to have bad writing for the presenters. It was just awkward and uncomfortable. If I felt awkward and uncomfortable here, there is no telling what the presenters themselves and the audience members were feeling.

Reality Sucks! - All of the "Real Housewives". Why do we have to keep getting exposed to all of these fake celebrities? Who cares? Why do we keep giving them air time? I have had enough. Really lets stop giving them press. Let us focus on the ones who have talent and became famous for their hard work.

Lack of Celebrities: For it to be a 40th Anniversary Tribute where was all the stars who owe their careers to Soul Train? Where was Whitney, Janet, Mary J., Aretha, Stevie, and countless others? Were they not invited, just too busy? They could of least sent a video tribute with footage of a performance of theirs on soul train. Maybe a two hour show that focuses on this, would be a better idea. NO new singers who have NO IDEA of the history but just performers who owe their careers to Don Cornelius. More to come on this idea later.

All in all, on a scale of 1 to 10, I would give this show a 2. Their were a few performers and the host that saved this show from completely sinking like the Titanic but not by much. Last year's phenomenal show I guess proved to be a tough act to follow with those wonderful tributes to Anita Baker and The Isley Brothers and fabulous performances by Erykah Badu, R. Kelly, and Jazmine Sullivan. I hope they get it right next year. Soul Music and Soul Train like the UNCF is a terrible thing to waste. Get it right...please for the legacy of our musical history!!

CG

frankie beverly and maze (joy and pain)

Recently, I had the pleasure of seeing Frankie Beverly & Maze in concert. Let me tell you how terrific this concert was. Frankie Beverly who is 65 years young still has it. The show was great. I enjoyed every minute of it. Frankie connects with his audience like no other performer I have ever seen. Maze did all of their classics starting with "Laid Back Girl" and ending with an encore of "I Wanna Thank You". What a show. I especially enjoyed the song Joy & Pain.

For the first time, I really, really absorbed the lyrics to the song, which goes as follows:

Remember when you first found love how you felt so good
Kind that last forever more so you thought it would
Suddenly the things you see got you hurt so bad
How come the things that make us happy make us sad
Well it seems to me that

Joy and pain are like sunshine and rain
Joy and pain are like sunshine and rain

Love can be bitter love can be sweet
Sometimes devotion and sometimes deceit
The ones that you care for give you so much pain
Oh but it's alright there both one in the same
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/f/frankie_beverley_and_maze/joy_and_pain.html ]
Don't it seem we go through life going up and down
Seems the things that turn you on turn you around
Always hurting eachother if it ain't one thing its another
But when the world is down on you love's somewhere around
Well it seems to me that

Joy and pain are like sunshine and rain
Joy and pain are like sunshine and rain
Joy and pain are like sunshine and rain
Joy and pain are like sunshine and rain

Over and over you can be sure
There will be sorrow but you will endure
Where there's a flower there's the sun and the rain
Oh and it's wonderful there both one in the same

Joy and pain are like sunshine and rain
Joy and pain are like sunshine and rain
Joy and pain are like sunshine and rain
Joy and pain are like sunshine and rain

When I think of this song, I often think of my family and friends. In large families such as the one I have we often do go through highs and lows. It seems like no matter where you look, there is always some type of drama that will unfold. I love the second line of the second verse that Frankie delivers when he says "Always hurting each other, if it aint one thing its another.." How true that sentence is. It always seems like there is some type of drama that unfolds. However, where there is drama there is always some type of happy moment, whether it be a birthday party or monumental event such as a graduation or wedding.

I thank Maze for writing such a great song. It makes me long for days of good music. It seems as if Good music has fell by the wayside these days in favor of auto tunes, sex, and flavors of the month. I feel badly for the youth of today. Often when we here our music, we are taken back to that time frame, we think of where we were, we can name the year and we just reflect with happy or sad memories. Will our kids of today have those same memories? What happened? So as you listen to Joy & Pain think of the message that Frankie is trying to give to you. You will experience happiness and sad but in life, you will be stronger for both. What songs in your life evoke those memories for you?

CG2

Watering The Seeds.....

Yesterday, my cousin Myra invited me to bible study at her church. I went thinking I was just going to get a bible lesson. I was not expecting to be MOVED like I was. Words cannot express the transformation that I experienced. Pastor Wayne Cheney Jr preached a word from God that I knew was for me. Pastor talked abut stirring up the gifts inside of you. What are you doing with those gifts?

Pastor Cheney said something that was really as Oprah would call an "A-ha moment!"  He began to say that everything belongs to God including our talents. When we stand before God, we will not only be accountable for our salvation but for how we used our gifts. That was very deep for me. As you all know, I recently moved to California. The intent was to get focused on my writing career and get my book out there. Well, I have not really been doing that since I got here. I told myself  that " I was just trying to get settled." Part of that is true. I was trying to familiarize myself with the area, however I began to grown comfortable in my area. Pastor's word really made me realize that I was not utilizing my gifts and I felt such guilt and regret for not using the gifts that God blessed me with. I did not want to be at the throne of God and not doing my best work. How would I explain or justify that to him? This was my A-ha moment.

I thank God for using Pastor Wayne to speak to me on this. Since last night I have built my website, got the book manuscript back out, and researching publishers. I do not want to leave this earth knowing I did not do all I was called to do. Pastor also said something mind boggling. "Because God has not dealt with you, it sometimes creates a false sense of security." What I gather he means from that is that whether it is not being a good steward or not using your gifts, you will be held accountable for that at some point. So instead of being called out for not using my gifts, I want to be rewarded for my gifts. This also goes in a positive way as well because some have really worked on nurturing their gifts and talents and have not seen their promotion but just because God has not rewarded you yet does not mean it is not going happen.

This message was also another confirmation that I am walking in my gift, and that I alone am responsible for nurturing the seeds that God has planted in me. I cannot wait for others to make that happen for me, I have to do it myself. It is OK to ask for help, and receive the help but NOBODY is going to make it happen but me, I have to be willing to do the work. Like Mary J. Blige stated, "There are so many things that are used as vessels to get us to where we need to be in life." The prayer meeting last night was definitely a vessel to get me re-motivated to get back into the swing of things.

So as you are doing your tasks today, ask yourself are you nurturing the seeds that God has planted in you, or you allowing them to dry up and die. Are you being fruitful and multiplying those seeds? It is not too late. Remember, God has blessed us all with individual gifts The road may be hard, it may not always be easy, but anything worth having is never easy. So when you get weary and tired of what God has called you to do, lean on him and trust him and remember Philippians 1:6:
God has begun a good work in me. He will be able to bring into full completion.
In love, CG2.

Songs To Get You Through.

As a companion piece to "Why You Worried? I Got You?" These are the songs that I listen to that give me hope. They always put a smile on my face when I am having a bad day or week. Through my tears I go on.  I encourage you to make a mixed CD or put this into your I-pods, I-tunes or personal file. Pull it out when you need it. Pull it out even when you have a good day. Be Blessed!

1. Optimistic - Sounds of Blackness 
2. Be Blessed - Yolanda Adams 
3. Smile - Kirk Franklin & The Family 
4. Ooh Child - The Five Stairsteps 
5. On Your Face - Earth, Wind & Fire
6. Keep Your Head To The Sky - Earth, Wind & Fire
7. Back II Eden- Donald Lawrence & Co
8. I Believe - Marvin Sapp 
9. Hold On - Sounds of Blackness & Roger Troutman
10. Never Give Up -  Yolanda Adams 
11. Be Blessed My Brother - Bishop Paul S. Morton 
12. Aint No Stopping Us Now - McFadden & Whitehead 
13. Someday We'll All Be Free - Donny Hathaway 
14. God Has Smiled On Me - Mary, Mary 
15. This Is It - Kirk Franklin & The Family
16. Look Into Your Heart - Aretha Franklin 
17. Blessed & Highly Favored - The Clark Sisters
18. You Brought The Sunshine - The Clark Sisters 
19. Well Allright - CeCe Winans 
20. When You've Been Blessed - Patti LaBelle

Why You Worried? I Got You!!

On Your Face - Earth, Wind & Fire

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.- Philippians 4:6-7 New International Version (NIV)

Really, really reflect on the scripture and the EWF song. It seems like over these last two months, a lot of people are struggling with being somber and sad. What is going on? I know we have a lot going on in our lives but it seems like a lot of people are talking negativity and somberness to a whole new level. Is life really that bad? Sure, my life is not perfect and there things that could be a lot better, but it could be a whole lot worse. What is going on?
First of all it seems like people are really struggling with their jobs. I understand that. I have worked a lot of jobs where I come ,  home stressed, flustered and tired. The work consumed me, I came home and would crashed on the couch, eat, watch television and drift off to sleep. Then I would wake up and repeat the same day, day in and day out. I get that a lot of us deal with hell on our jobs. That is a given. The question is what are we doing to combat that hell? Are we meeting that hell with the armor of God? We constantly deal with people who lie on us, cheat, steal, and scandalize our name. Trust me I have been there. It almost defeated me, but it did not. On your job, you should be able to find one or two things that bring you joy in the workplace. Rather it be a friend you can trust, or some part of your day that you enjoy. Focus on that. Do you pray before you go to work? Pray that God will sustain you and keep you throughout the day no matter what happens. I did that when I was a teacher. I used to call out names of the students I was struggling with. I would ask God to lay his hands on them. It would work that day, the student would be less trouble for me. So if you have a boss, a coworker, student, or customer that is giving you grief, call their name out and God to fix them in your life. Ask God to equip you with the strength to endure with that person. Let God work out that situation in your life. Remember, often times God puts people in our lives good or bad as a vessel to get us somewhere or to teach us a lesson. Listen to him on what he is trying to teach you about that person.
Secondly, what is keeping you from pursuing other interests other career options? Are you doing your calling? This is why I believe a lot of people are miserable at work.  It is because we are not doing what we were called to do by God. We ignore the signs and become afraid to step out on faith and settle where we are. Yet we wonder why we are unhappy in the places we have settled for.
You can do all the denying you want, but if you are just being comfortable, that could be why you are stressed, you are not being fulfilled. Look for that dream job while still praying and meditating at the necessary one. What is stopping you?

Next, we have those people who constantly seek out the worst case scenario. They have sick people in the graves already, refuse to live in joy and cannot understand how others stay happy and joyful in the midst of sickness and strife. They have the attitude that if you are not crying or falling all out then you do not care. They go around the sick and afflicted with bad attitudes and somberness. What they do not understand is that the sick and shut in feed off of that and can pick up on that energy. Something I heard on Oprah during her  final episode was when she was telling the story of a sick woman who could tell the doctors and family were being sad and somber, the woman came up with a saying that I thought was perfect. "Please take responsibility for the energy you bring into this space." That is a powerful isn't it? If I were sick, I would not want anyone coming around me with sadness and despair. Everyday is a day of thanksgiving and everyday is a day of life. It drives me insane when someone treats the living as if they are dead. Not that you should not prepare yourself for the worse case scenario but how do we know what the scenario is? We have a tendency to speak for God and speak negativity as if we are speaking from God. God does not need a spokesperson or agent. Often, God has a tendency to flip the script on us when we least expect it. God is a god of healing. Healing comes in different forms but he ultimately heals all. I wish others could remember that more.

I know this economy is the tank. People blame the president, blame a party affiliation or a leader. We get so stuck on how bad this country is or the shape that it is in, we often forget about the accomplishments of this country. We stick on the negative, the bad things. Is this really what God wants for our lives? Are we remembering Philippians 4:6-7? It is time to take responsibility for the energy that we bring into this space. We are human, I get that. We struggle with our emotions. I am no exception. I am not saying that you cannot cry. I am not saying that you cannot prepare yourself for the worst case scenario. What I am saying is that when we focus on that and let it consume us, we are forgetting about the peace of God and forgetting about what he has in store for us.

So I encourage each and everyone of you struggling with work, sickness, and any other type of negativity to remember Philippians 4:6-7. Take responsibility for the energy you bring into other people's spaces. The way you feel is always written on your face. Like EWF says, "Sadness bears no remedy for the problems in your life." Lets us move forward. I can hear God, when we worry about tomorrow and focus on our negativity and sadness translating Philippians 4:6-7, "Hey why you worried? I got you. I got you! You my child. You not  gonna be in peril or be cast away. It aint going down like that. I got you!" or "Have I ever left you in harms way? I'm kinda hurt that you don't trust me after all these years. Remember, I got you. ITS ALL GOOD!"

Be Encouraged!

So Grateful for Revelation!!

Sometimes God looks down the road and sees a storm brewing and therefore, he removes you from that situation to keep you out of that storm. You may not understand that at the time, but as you get older and experience life that revelation comes to you. That is nothing but GOD. I look over the last 10 years of my life and am just grateful for the things that have happened in my life good or bad.

In 2004, I was working at a bank. I was promoted to Branch Manager. There were several branch manager positions that came open but I was passed by until finally I got one! I was excited. It was not for anything other then the prestige and social status that came with that. Ultimately, it was a bad decision but a necessary one.  In that position, I was lied on, talked about, and given no support which ultimately led to the termination of my job. I was grateful. It was a very stressful job and it took a huge toll on my health and well being. I was relived but stressed that I lost my job due to lies and two-facedness. However, it was God calling me into another level. He pulled me into teaching, which is what I wanted to do anyway. Well I taught for a few years in the urban school district and loved it but there was also a lot of politics and favoritism within the school district. By my fourth year, I was stressed and overworked as was many of my collegues. I came home and just crashed on the couch. I would watch television, eat, fall asleep, only to wake up to go bed and repeat the same day. Work got overloaded, there was so many papers to grade, so many things to do. Well I  lost my job there too due to a certification issue that I thought was going to be okay. I was promised that I would get to stay another year. GOD had other plans.

When I lost my job, I was depressed. I thought this was what I worked so hard for. I let the devil get the best of me. I felt like a failure and disappointment to everyone who believed in me. It was the devil. When the school year started and I was not there w/ my friends I felt lost. I would sit on the couch and just feel miserable. Then one night I fell asleep on the couch and woke up to Joyce Meyer on t.v. She literally preached to everything I was going through. She mentioned her book Battlefield of the Mind. It spoke to me, I read it and read it, I began to journal write and reflect. It was truly an awakening.  I began to write and write a little more and more. Then God gave me ALL of these ideas. It lead me to the revelation that I could be a great writer, author and speaker. God wanted me to use all of my experiences to write and be an author. I am just grateful for what he has given me now. Now after all these  years, I am relocating to Los Angeles. After 15 years of wanting to do so, its finally here. I am so grateful. I have written my first book and awaiting publication. I have the foundation for several other books, and even an idea for a radio show to spring from this book. None of this would have ever happened had I not had these experiences. I have had some friends turn away because they did not understand and thought I was going down "the wrong path" , I get that but its o.k. It had to happen, I understand why it happened now. And I am moving forward...


The bank that I was terminated from was shut down due to financial failure. There is so much uncertainty there. The school district I was working at is now doing things that I would want to do. People there are more stressed than they have ever been. And ME, God is moving me into my season of favor. I did not do it on my own. It was nothing but GOD. I was not moving fast enough for him, so he made it happen for me. I am the happiest I have ever been. I am so thankful. My season is here! Yours can be too. Don't get comfortable. If you are in a place that you do not like, DO SOMETHING about it. If you have a calling on your life answer it. If you have a dream, make it happen. Do not settle. I have done that for far too long and I refuse to do it again!! Be blessed!! I am!!

The Adventure Begins

Thanks Drew, for motivating me to do get back on here. :-) I will be blogging a lot over the next few weeks as I detail my move to the west coast and pursuit of my dreams. I am looking forward to it. I am leaving Wednesday, September 29th. I will be taking a two day adventure. I will leave from Bonner Springs/Kansas City, KS stopping when I feel the need. I will spend the night in Albuquerque, New Mexico get up the next morning and head into Los Angeles!! Wow..saying it out loud is even more spellbinding! Its amazing. I am so grateful. This has been 18 years in the making and the dream is finally becoming a reality. I hope that all of you will share in this journey with me. I am thankful for all of the encouragement and support. For those of you that have not been so motivating, this is the only shout out you will be getting. Really there have not been any, but inevitably there will be some. You know what you can do, just lift me up in prayer as God lifts me higher and higher. Stay tuned for more updates in the days to come. Follow your dreams and desires, I am following mine. Goodnight. CG2

The Big Move

Good Morning,
First I want to thank EVERYONE for the well wishes and birthday greetings yesterday. I had a great day and my cup was overflowing with blessings and love. That is the greatest thing a guy could ask for.  I wanted to talk to you guys about what is coming up for me and what God is doing in my life.

After much prayer and reflection, I have decided that the time is finally right for me to move on w/ my life and make some things happen. I have decided that at the end of September, I will be relocating to Los Angeles. This should not be a surprise to many of you as many of you already know and know that this is has been in my heart for many, many years. I have wanted to live in California since I turned 18. However, I always found an excuse and stayed here for whatever reason. It ultimately boiled down to me just not being ready. Well God is ready for me to move forward and pursue some dreams and interests. He has given me the gift of writing/media  and educating and that is what I plan to pursue. I am very excited for what awaits me there. I am pursuing some dreams. It has been a difficult two years with some things, I feel like I am growing stagnant a little bit and its time to spread my wings. God allowed me to go through these last two years so that I can get ready for this. He is gearing me towards my biggest blessings now.

I am so overwhelmed with what is in store for me. My dreams are coming true. It has been hard to tell everyone because I know how it is when someone moves away. But in my heart, it just feels right. It is the right time. I am receiving so much confirmation from God that this is what I need to do. I ask for your support and encouragement and most importantly prayer as I do this. I am looking at my target date to move September 26th or the week of. Kansas will always be my home. I will be back quite a bit. I just wanted to tell everyone that I did not get a chance to talk to yet. I thank you for your support, friendship and all we have shared over the years. God bless you.
Also a prop and shout out to those who have left Kansas in pursuit of other dreams and have made it. You are an inspiration to me. (Marla, Evie,Gordon, Michael, Kama and others).

I alone know the plans I have for you, plans to bring you prosperity and not disaster, plans to bring about the future you hope for. -Jeremiah 29:10

The Lord said to Abram "Leave your country, your relatives, and you fathers home and go to a land that I am going to show you.  I will give you many descendants, and they will become a great nation. I will bless you and make your name famous, so that you will be a blessing. - Genesis 12:1-3

Thank you Karen, for giving that to me. More confirmation.

Stay Tuned...the best is yet to come! :-)

Men: Do We Still Count?

I am not liking what I see in regards to the role of men in our popular culture these days.

First of all, I am seeing numerous television commercials that show men as weak, insufficient, indecisive neanderthals and women as the domineering controlling being. There are several commercials out there that show men with no control and no say so in how their houses are ran. There are countless commercials that show a man with some domineering woman and he takes it. He will not watch the football game because his wife wants to watch Lifetime. Is this really what marriages and or relationships have been reduced too?

Then if I see ONE MORE show that has some guy with a girl who is completely out of his league so much so that his girlfriend or wife is calling all the shots and that is simply how it is going to be because she is "so smoking hot." WTH? On 90% of the television sitcoms out there right now, the man has NO CONTROL in the relationship. The man/husband/boyfriend and his friends are seen as unfeeling, unthinking, unloving neanderthals with the brain the size of a pea. While it is funny at times, sometimes it has gotten to be just a bit much. Is this what is going on in the homes? It does not bode to well for us single guys who still are looking or NOT looking for that Ms. Right. No guy want's a Ms. Right IN YOUR FACE  all the time.


I am not at all advocating MEN to be dominating and controlling. However ladies, are you really comfortable with a man who:

1. make no decisions in the home, you chose where to eat, where to go on vacation, what he can or cannot buy 95% of the time?
2. with a man who cannot have time with his friends, take time to watch a football game, or buy something with the money that he works so hard for?
3. whom you cannot trust? If you have to check his facebook, twitter, texts or emails, then there is an obvious problem. If he has given you no cause, why are you suspicious? No trusts, no lasting relationship. Work through your own insecurities. Men this coin goes both ways. This applies to you too. No probable cause, then you pause!

And another thing, we just celebrated Valentines Day. I bet a lot of ladies expected for the husband to go all out with the cards, the restaurants, the flowers, and the chocolates. Let me ask you, what did you for your man? Did you give as much as you received? Did you come correct?

Musical Excellence? A 2011 Grammy Wrap Up

Musical Excellence?: A Grammy Wrap Up

Remember that scene from Waiting To Exhale when Angela Bassett’s character went on this tirade at the party, and then all of a sudden she looked up confused and innocently and asked, “What happened to music, I thought this was supposed to be a party?” That is the way I felt the other day when I watched the 53^rd annual Grammy Telecast.

That is exactly what I want to know. What happened to all the music at the Grammy’s? The Grammy’s used to be about celebrating musical excellence in all fields: gospel, rock, rhythm and blues, and bluegrass, country, jazz. I did not see hardly any of that the other day. Instead what I saw was a painful reminder of what has happened to the music industry today.

Think back to the Grammy’s of just a few years ago, when you saw performances that represented each genre of music. You had gospel performances, rock performances, and even sometimes (although as I child I could not appreciate it as much as I do now as an adult) opera and classical music. The show seemed to celebrate celebrity more than musical excellence on Sunday. Lady Gaga, Justin Beiber, and Katie Perry dominated Grammy show. Performances were pretty much limited to who is hot at the time. There were not that many high points of this year’s show. There were a few highlights of this year’s telecast, but other than that most of this year’s telecast was painful reminder of how much the music industry has changed. Remember when the show honored such greats as Stevie Wonder, Fleetwood Mac, Tina Turner, Mariah Carey, and The Beatles? In recent years future legends such as Alicia Keys, Beyonce, Lauryn Hill, Nora Jones, and John Legend dominated the award show. There is something wrong with this: Marvin Gaye in his lifetime only won 2 Grammy’s. Diana Ross, whose contribution to the music industry cannot be ignored, has won a whopping total of zero awards yet Lady Gaga can win five in one night? There is something very wrong with this picture.

From what I have seen on facebook, and various other media outlets, this years Grammy’s were not well received. Reports indicate that this year’s telecast was the highest rated that is has been in the last 10 years. I do not see that happening next year if they repeat the same mistakes they did this year. Here is what the Grammy’s got right and what they got so terribly wrong:

Grammy High Points:

The Aretha Franklin Tribute:

What a way to start the show! You cannot go wrong paying tribute to the Queen of Soul. The video montage of the Queen winning her 18 Grammy’s and performing numerous times shows us all what true artistry and music is supposed to look like. Having great artists like Jennifer Hudson, Christina Aguilara (who redeemed herself from her Super Bowl fiasco), Yolanda Adams, Martina McBride, and Florence from Florence and The Machine pay tribute was the right touch. Then the queen herself making a videotaped appearance from her home in Detroit calmed everyone’s concerns about her health. She looked great! This tribute had me believe that the rest of the show was going to be the same way.

Bruno Mars/Janelle Monee.

A great performance all around! Bruno delivered. He reminded me of a cross between Al Green and Joe Crocker. He has the skills to last more than 15 minutes. Now I may be biased being a fellow Kansas City Kansan and DOTTER but Janelle Monee represented KCK in a major way. She was not trying to do a lot of this or that to be noticed. She is a true performer and has such a charisma and chemistry about her on stage. She connects with the audience very well.

Unfortunately, that is about ALL of the positive I have for this show. The rest of the telecast fell into the

LOW POINTS OR WTH (WHAT THA HELL?) Moments:

Lady Gaga:

I am really, really, really not a fan. Yes she inspires kids to be different, blah, blah, blah.  I am really not impressed with that. It is really like she is doing all of these antics to take away from the fact that her singing ability is average at best. I am not trying to be mean, but I do not understand all of the hype that surrounds her. Her song “Born This Way” as many, many others have said was a direct replica of Madonna’s “Express Yourself. “ She thrives on just being weird. The entire performance was awkward and head scratching at best. Lady Gaga represents what is wrong with the industry today: Do anything to take away from the fact that you really do not have the best singing voice.  I think about some of our other young artist out there such as Alicia Keys, Jill Scott, Carrie Underwood, Jennifer Hudson, John Legend, Kem, and Taylor Swift who do not have to resort to these types of tactics to get noticed. The focus is solely on their voices their natural talent. I am over the Lady Gaga craze. Then her acceptance speech saying she thanks Whitney Houston cause she envisioned Whitney Houston singing that song, I think we all know what Whitney have said to that.

Lack of Awards:

98 of 108 awards were handed out before the Grammy telecast. I think a big reason why people tune into the show is to see the “best of the best” represent in their fields of music. I am not an idiot to not understand that there is simply not enough time to have each award given out and still have performances, but they definitely could have had each genre represented on stage. R&B awards were all but eliminated from the live telecast as was bluegrass, gospel, and jazz.

Justin Beiber/Usher:

The performance was average. Justin Beiber has a lot of potential. But I think he is definitely overexposed at this point. Usher, I expected a lot more from. He is one that I would call a future legend. His performance mirrored Janet Jackson’s “Rhythm Nation”. I am going to give Usher the benefit of the doubt and say that he was trying to let his protégé shine on that night. Usher is capable of giving us so much more. There needs to be a definite game plan to give Beiber some longevity and not just focus on being so commercial and pop.

Lady Antebellum Tribute to Teddy Pendergrass:

This is kind of a catch 22. If it was Lady Antebellum who decided to do the tribute it was honorable to try, but if the Grammy’s decided to just have some random group pay tribute then it was an insult to Teddy’s legacy when you had John Legend, and other soulful crooners in the audience who would have given TP much more justice and give him the kind of tribute that he truly deserved.

Lifetime Achievement Award Rush:

Normally the Grammy’s will give a little bit more of a tribute to the lifetime achievement award recipients than just saying all of their names at once like they did last night. Usually, presenters would recognize all of the recipients before they present an award or that would just be their sole focus. For all of those artists who have paid their dues to get this type of award and them to just get some random 2-second call out to me was an insult to their musical contributions. The Dolly Parton tribute with John Mayer, Keith Urban, and Nora Jones was awkward too. Not because of the three talented artists giving it, but because it was rushed to a point that it was just uncomfortable. It was totally devaluing the talents of Ms. Parton and the three talented presenters. If time is an issue, maybe the Grammy’s should do like the other musical award shows like Soul Train Awards, Oscars, Golden Globe and focus on giving ONE Lifetime Achievement Award a year.

Rhianna:

I am really not trying to be viscous or mean, but is Rhianna the ONLY one that rappers can find to do musical collaborations with. I am not a fan of hers as well. She is all over the place. Her voice is just not doing anything for me. Its very nasally and whiny.

The Ezperanza Spalding/ Justin Beiber New Artist Controversy:

I believe the award is called Best New ARTIST. Artist is somebody that has really made a splash on the music industry because of his or her raw showmanship, artistry, and gift of song. I have to admit I was surprised that Spalding got it, but not upset. She truly deserved it. Beiber needs more time to develop. He is a teen artist/icon but his musical showmanship is not there yet. He is not a young Michael Jackson or Little Stevie Wonder. Rarely is a the New Artist award given to someone so young. Beiber fans were not being too tactful or gracious by being rude to Ms. Spalding while she was accepting her award. That was in bad taste. That was her moment. If Beiber develops himself as a musician a little more and really develops that and not just focus on being so commercial, he will have more time in the future to win awards.

In The Middle: Not Sure How I Feel Moments:

Cee-Lo Green Performance:
I am going to give Cee-Lo an A for effort. He was trying to do something different. However, I found it as a cross between Toucan Sam, Elton John, and George Clinton. It was just maybe too different for me. I do like the song and I appreciate Cee-Lo’s humor, I just do not know if I would call this the best performance of the evening. I am still not fully understanding the Gwenyth Paltrow portion and why she came out to sing on the song.