Vindication Day!

“The best revenge is to live on and prove yourself” - Eddie Van Halen


Revenge. What comes to mind when you think of that word? Often maybe we think of a plot on Dallas when J.R Ewing played by the late Larry Hagman getting back at Cliff Barnes for some scheme, or maybe even the new television show on ABC called Revenge. But what comes to my mind is something totally different. I often heard the quote that success is the best revenge and often times I really wondered what that meant. How does that really work? Up until a few months ago, I really had no idea how that applied to my life. What I have come to find out is that what it means is that instead of seeking revenge like a jilted lover in a daytime soap opera, there is a much easier way to handle your enemies. After all, what you normally see on these shows is that the revenge plot often backfires and the person seeking revenge usually pays a heavier price than the person they intended it for. At the end of the day, was it really worth it?
Over the past few years, I have suffered a lot of adversity and strife. Some of it was my own doing, some of it was natural like the loss of loved ones, and some of it was at the hands of others. What do you do when you suffer at the hands of others? The answer is quite simple, you do not let them know that you are suffering. First, I think of workplace issues. Over the last few years, there have been some painful and hurtful issues occur at the workplace. There has been some two-facedness, some lies told, and some backbiting. These situations made it hard for me to trust but you have to push forward. At the end of the day, those people who want your job or your position, you have to decide what is the best method to handle these types of situations. You have to give it over to God. When things are done underhanded and sneaky, it always, always gets revealed. And at the end of the day those trying to tare you down, have to watch as God moves you forward, upward, and over that mountain. You gain a new level of success. And you then realize that where you were at was hindering your growth. That is what I am coming to find out. As Oprah would say this would be my "Aha!moment".

“To be angry is to revenge the faults of others on ourselves.” - Alexander Pope


The last hurtful situation stung a little bit because I felt things could have been handled differently, and I really did not see it coming but I realize now that once again I was getting comfortable and stagnant in this place and it was taking away from what God really had for me. Again, when you get comfortable and God has a new level of favor and a new season coming your way, he takes some things out of your way. Now the people who meant evil for me, God is turning into good and pushing me forward. That is the ultimate revenge. You are not doing anything to harm or hinder those who hindered you, but you are pushing forward and living your life happy, growing and being successful. That is your vindication.

The same holds true for relationships. Everyone who is in your life is not going to be with you for the long haul. Not everyone is mature enough to handle difficult situations and as your situations grow more and more difficult, some of the people in your life will go running. They will talk behind your back, tell you are doing the wrong thing and begin to turn away. That has to happen. It is necessary for your growth and development. In some way or form, those people were also stunting your growth. The same people that push you away or turn away, stop calling or communicating have to sit back and watch as God replenishes those people with authentic relationships. Since I had some people abandon me, God has replenished with even bigger and better relationships.
Those people who left you behind also have to sit back and watch you succeed and move forward even though they were trying to hold you back. That is revenge done the right way. You are not giving them any thought, you wish them well, you move on, you grow, and you succeed. Isn’t it amazing how God works?
So as you suffer adversity at the hands of others, or because of situations caused by other people, stop feeling sorry for yourself, and angry at them because at the end of the day God is using it to advance you in to a brand new season of favor and you know what all the haters can do is sit back and watch.

Happy Vindication Day!

Your time is coming!
CG2

I Love Music!: Music Therapy

Find An Outlet

As I am sitting here right now, I am listening to “Sunshine” by Babyface and am automatically transformed back to the year 1989. I am flooded by so many memories. It is funny how a song can jog a memory or take you back to a different place. Music does that for me. For the past two weeks, I really had not listened to a lot of music because I was mourning the loss of both my Grandmother and Aunt Alleyne, but just the last few days, I slowly got back into listening to my music and began writing again, my two biggest creative releases.
1989 was obviously such a different year than 2013. As I listen to various songs from the 70s, 80s, and 90s, I am thinking of pictures, situations, and people from that era. Like every time I hear the songs “Shake” by The Gap Band, “Shining Star” by The Manhattans, “Don’t Stop The Music” by Yarbrough & Peoples, “Double Dutch Bus” by Frankie Smith, I think back to growing up as a small child at 217 N. Park in Bonner Springs which was my Grandmother’s house where my dad and his siblings grew up. I hear the songs “You, Me & He” by Mtume, “Ah, Ah, Ah” by The Jones Girls, “I Didn’t Mean To Turn You On” by Cherelle, the memories from 1984 flood back and I think of my Great-Grandparents 60th wedding anniversary and their picnic when my cousin Vincent told me that I was “too young” to listen to that music and I could not fully understand it, little did he know.
It is funny how songs can do that for you. Anything from the 90s takes me back to growing up on Insley Ave, going to the high school dances, walking one street over to Springdale, sleepovers at my cousins’ houses, and going to visit my family in California. Music is such a stress reliever and brings out so many different emotions. Sometimes, I get a little misty eyed when I hear songs from the eras I grew up in. It reminds me of simpler times, and sometimes painfully reminds me of the loved ones who are no longer here. When I hear the music I think that it was before 9/11, before Newtown or Aurora. While the 70s, 80s, and 90s were hardly all peaceful, there was a certain innocence of those decades that you cannot find today. This is why I love old school music so much. No other type of music can spark memories in my mind, reenergize me when I am feeling down or tired, and give me peace of mind. When I want to get the creative juices flowing, I put on some Anita Baker or Stevie Wonder. Nobody inspires me to write like they do.
So as you deal with the day to day hustle and bustle of life, deal with the stress and strain of it all put on a little Natalie Cole sing with reckless abandon “I’ve Got Love On My Mind” or to a little Earth, Wind & Fire telling you to cheer up with “Keep Your Head To The Sky”. There is a reason music is the universal language. It gives comfort and evokes so much emotion and reflection.

Happy Listening!

Family Ties Can't Be Broken

Family Ties Cannot Be Broken


I never thought that two months ago when I went to Kansas City for my grandmother’s Homegoing services that only six weeks later, I would be saying goodbye to her beloved sister and best friend, my dear Aunt Alleyne Wallace. I still cannot believe it. I am still in mourning and still wondering, “Did this really happen?” It is too soon after my Grandmommie passed away, it is too soon after my Aunt Benita passed away. Death has rocked our family hard this last year and a half. Sure it is a natural part of life and it is something we all have to face sooner or later, but it does not make it any easier.
One thing that gives me comfort and I am sure others as well is that my Grandmother is now reunited with her sisters and parents. They are cutting up giving each other a hard time, and they are looking down on us expecting us to carry on their legacies and their love. My grandmother and Aunt Alleyne were not sad people and could not tolerate being around anyone else who was sad and depressed. Sadness was simply not in their vocabularies. They suffered much loss and much pain, yet they never complained and never wanted anyone else to feel sorry for them.
As we continue to live our lives, I feel that there is no better time then the present to cherish the family that lives on to celebrate those who have moved on. While I may not always show it, I am so grateful for my family. We have a family that a lot of people admire and love. There are so many people who wish they could be Bolton’s. When my Grandmother and Aunt Alleyne passed away, there was such an outpouring of love shown to our family and that is truly to be appreciated. That is something that none of us should take lightly. Not everyone gets the kind of love and admiration that these three received. That is the kind of love and kind-heartedness I want to be known for.
The love that my Aunt showed everyone is something I strive for. I may sometimes fall short of that but I love all of my relatives. Each of them adds a little something, something to our family dynamic. There is always a funny story, some little gem that makes my siblings, cousins, and I chuckle. There are so many stories, so many memories. We have to continue to remember that.
In June, we will be attending our bi-annual family reunion in Las Vegas. While yes, this year reunion will be a little heavy on our hearts without Aunt Benita, Grandmommie, and Aunt Alleyne, they would want us to push forward and do the around the world for them. They would want life to go on. That being said, how do you move forward? You just do it one day at time, no matter how difficult it is. To my family, I love you all so much. While our hearts are broken and this is a fragile time for our family right now, lets continue to honor the ones who have gone on before us, by continuing to push forward one day at a time.

See you all in June.

With lots and lots of love,

Chris II aka “Little Chris”