Defending Mariah

So I was sitting here listening to "All I Want for Christmas" by Mariah Carey which is one of my top 10 all time Christmas Jams. I cannot help but think of the interesting performance that she gave in which her voice was not at its best. What makes me sad is the number of people celebrating that, making their jabs, and making such rude comments.
I heard people say "Here career is over!" "She is washed up." "She is a wreck.."
Really? "Washed up?" "Career over.." We somehow have forgot the fact that Mariah Carey is the best selling female artist of all time (surpassing Aretha, Madonna, Janet, and today's current Hero Diva Beyonce). Everyone seems to have conveniently left out the fact that she has more #1 hits then The Beatles and Elvis Presley. "Washed up" never looked so good.
If Mariah never sang another note, sold another album, or sold out an arena, her

legacy has already been cemented. She has a career that has spanned 25 years. She has done what she came to do, and I still feel like the has more to give. But if she does not give anymore she has already given the music world enough. If she decided to just sit back raise her kids, and marvel in all of her accomplishments, so be it.
To those haters who have made all of these comments, its safe to assume that you have been on top of your game every day at work? You have never had an off day, never been late, never gave a bad performance? Of course you have, the only difference is the whole world does not hear about it when you do. But imagine if they did. Imagine your whole office having a chat room about your sloppy sales numbers, or poor performance review. You would be fit to be tied.
Let's not forget Mariah is a talented songwriter and producer as well as being ranked in Rolling Stones 100 Greatest Singers of All Time. You can't take that away from her. We are so quick in this nation to celebrate someone's failures and forget their accomplishments. That is the sad part. We tare Mariah down but we celebrate Beiber? Iggy? You tube sensations? Reality stars? Kim K? Really? Really?
Let's also remember she is going through a divorce which would shake anyone. Its the holidays, what more of a painful reminder of an uproot in your family dynamic then the holidays? She probably thought she could handle it, then perhaps maybe the thoughts of her broken family overwhelmed her.
Keep on pushin Mariah, your legend status remains in tact at least to me.

Stop judging. Legendary artists deserve better.

It Needed To Be Said

I struggled to write something down for this one. What did I want to say, what could I say? My mind was all over the place. So i figured the best way to start was to approach those comments that stood out to me the most that I saw on social media, news sites, and heard people say. I know some will be mad at these words, or feel like I need to "let it go"..i also address that below.

Read on....


“Michael Brown and Eric Garner broke the law. They were not innocent. They were thugs that deserved to die. “


So with that same thinking, if this is what you are using for your justification, the next time a police officer pulls you over for speeding and he or she decide to beat you or worse then would your killing be justified. You live a perfect life? You have never: eaten grapes at the grocery store before paying; went over the speed limit, did not correct your bill when it came up incorrect? If so, that is breaking the law. You now deserve to die. That is basically what you are saying when it comes to these two men. All I can say to people that make such comments is God bless you. I pray you never find tragedy knocking at your door. That your son or daughters continue to live a perfect existence and never make any mistakes that could cost them their lives. I pray that if tragedy does befall you and your family that you don’t have to hear “They deserved death!” “They got what they deserved.” The sad thing for me is that a lot of people making these insensitive, cruel comments are parents. If you don’t care enough for these young men who had their whole lives ahead of them, at least put yourself in the place of the parents, spouses, or other loved ones who will have a very difficult Christmas this year without their son, husband, father, brother, grandson, uncle, cousin, friend. I pray that you never have to experience the pain of loss that The Browns, and The Garner Families are experiencing this holiday season.

“Its not about race. This is not a black issue.”

You may or may not be right. Considering the number of people protesting that represent various races, genders, socio-economic backgrounds it is a human rights issue. I will give you that. However when a several cases seem to affect our black men, as an African-American male, as an uncle to young men, mentor, educator, and friend to African-American, I am concerned. It seems to be happening to us more. So yes it is a human rights issue, yes it is a black issue, yes it is a white issue, Hispanic and so on.

“Slavery and Jim Crow happened so many years ago, we should just move on:”

Chris Rock said it best recently:
“But the thing is, we treat racism in this country like a style that America went through. Like flared legs and lava lamps. ‘Oh that crazy thing we did. We were hanging black people.’ We treat it like a fad instead of a disease that eradicates millions of people. You’ve got to get it at a lab, and study it, and see its origins, and see what it’s immune to and what breaks it down.”

“We don’t know the whole story: “

In the case of Eric Garner, this was on videotape. What “more of the story do you need?” The entire story unfolded before our eyes. The coroner ruled it a homicide, unjustifiable force. Please tell me what “more” you need.

“What about all the rioters and looters? What do you think of that?”

What about them? To me these are two separate issues. I cannot tell you how many people are using this as a way of justifying or saying that because of that, it solidifies the death of these young men. Do I condone the violence, the looting, people destroying their communities? Absolutely not, but understand its not just African-Americans looting, stealing or rioting….
When you bring up rioters and looters, what are you saying?

“Whites are discriminated against too.”

You are correct. As an African-American male I cannot understand your struggle as you cannot understand mine. However I pose a question. When you were discriminated against or know of someone who has, what did you do about it? Did you take it further, “Did you address the issue? It seems like the only time I hear this, is when issues like this come up. Are you saying this a way to: negate what is happening to us; justify what is happening to us; or just to say it for the sake of saying it. If you have been discriminated against you should’ve said something when it occurred. Discrimination and racism of ANY kind is not cool. It should be addressed on all levels. If you don’t stand up for yourself, you are not standing for anything.

“Blacks kill each other every day. Black on black crime.”

Again what does this have to do with the Mike Brown or Eric Garner? I have heard this from both sides. Yes, black on black crime is plaguing our communities but are using this argument as a way to justify what happened to these young men? That is a separate issue that also and should be addressed but in the grand scheme of this incident this is irrelevant and I am not sure why this is being brought up. Caucasians kill each other, as do Hispanics, as do other races. What does this mean for young men who are being killed by the police? If you can find a connection please let me know.

"Michael Brown threatened the cop. Darren Wilson feared for his life."

How much of a threat was an unarmed man? What sense does this make? Maybe Mr. Wilson did fear for his life, he could’ve shot Mr. Brown in the leg, in the arm, maced him, pepper spray, numerous ways of detaining this young man. But instead you shoot him 12 times? Something is wrong with the math here.

"Charles Barkley supports the Grand Jury Decision."

I am sorry I didn’t realize Sir Charles was the spokesperson for the entire African-American race. I missed that election where we appointed him “Chairman of All Things African-American.” Charles has a right to his opinion as we all do, but I have the right as we all do to disagree, and I certainly do disagree and if you think I am that shallow to change my point of view based off the opinion of a basketball player, you must not know me very well.

"Eric Garner Said 'I Can't Breathe.' If you can talk you can breathe.."

When Abigal Folger was being attacked by the Manson family, here last words were "You can stop now. I'm already dead." What that meant was she knew she was mortally wounded and that she was near death. When Eric Garner said, "I can't breathe.." he knew that he was near death, his airflow was decreasing and he was struggling for air. He was pleading for his life. He was hoping that by saying "I can't breathe.." the cops would have let up. This should be obvious to anyone who has 1/3 brain activity.

"There are other issues that need our attention too in our communities. Why don’t we focus on those?"

You are right. I agree. Perhaps these incidents will give way to discussion on how these issues connect? Yes there are other issues that we need to address, but we have to start somewhere. I could not think of a more crucial place to start then our young men and women being killed unjustifiably by people we pay to protect us.



"I am so tired of hearing about this. Can we just move on?"

Yes, I am tired of too. I am tired of seeing this on the news. I am tired of being pulled over for being in a neighborhood “that I have no business being in”. I am tired of seeing our young men being pulled over, harassed, beaten, degraded by people who are supposed to protect us. I am tired of being judged by past actions, by the actions of a few people, the close I wear, my socio-economic status, the neighborhood I live in. I am tired of hearing stories about people who you feel you can trust say things that completely blow your faith in them out of the water. I am tired of the lack of empathy or understanding. I am tired of the lack of respect. I am tired of: the self-absorbed natures, the judgmental spirit, and the refusal to be inconvenienced. I am tired of being judged based off the color of my skin, being referred to as “you people”, some women clutching their purses when I get on the elevator, the disrespect of our President, being followed in the store, and being stereotyped. Yes I am tired of hearing about it too, I am tired of seeing it and taking about it. Move on you say? I would love too as soon as you can find solutions to the issues I listed above. I am all ears if you have any ideas so we can as you say, “move on...” if you are tired of hearing about it, imagine living it? Imagine how tired we are.

How Dare You Disagree With Me??!!

“I disagree with that statement!” Or “What if we try this…” Uh oh!!

One of the greatest things about living in this great country of ours is Freedom of Speech as allotted to us by the Constitution of the United States. With that freedom gives us the right to our opinions, our say, our voice, and also the right to disagree. However sometimes it seems like some people have missed that memo.

Believe it or not, there are people out there who’s egos are so fragile and who are insecure with themselves, that when you disagree with them, their world is rocked to their core. Immediately they internalize the disagreement as a personal issue and assume the person disagreeing with them either does not like them, is a troublemaker, or both. It has never dawned on them that they could be wrong or the person disagreeing (most of the time respectfully) or has another suggestion is merely trying to provide other solutions or suggestions often times that may benefit or be helpful to the person with the fragile ego who had the original thought.
There have been a few work environments and organizations (that shall remain nameless) that I have dealt with this mentality all too often. In one particular environment if you asked questions or challenged an idea or project, you were called to the side, talked about, or put on a “troublemaker” list. “You are not being a team player! This is what you are often told. Pretty soon secret meetings begin to occur in which you are left out and not included because heaven forbid you disagree or have another suggestion. Only the people who “drink the Kool-Aid” so to speak are then included in decision making, asked to present at meetings, or used as the model or example to the other team members who are now considered “trouble”, “rebel rousers”, and “insubordinates”.
People with these fragile egos often time will call the people who disagree with them and ask why they disagreed or ask them if they are in or out with the system. Sometimes they call others and ask, “Does so and so not like me? What do they say about me?” In their minds, it’s too inconceivable that their idea was not the best or that simply somebody disagrees because they have another solution.
This could often take place in friendships or intimate relationships as well. We all have that one friend who has this desire to be right all the time often times at the expense of other people in the friend circle. They are constantly correcting you, putting others down, and often times its to mask their own insecurities and fears. When you disagree you are called “sensitive”, “in your feelings”, or “difficult”. When often times, its actually the other way around. You disagreeing or having a valid argument that you put in their orbit is too much for them to deal with. They are not used to being challenged or have someone disagree with him or her so as a result, the communication begins to decrease. Text messages stop being answered, calls stop, and follow ups not likely. All because their ego and pride cannot handle being challenged.
What these insecure people need to understand is that are multiple ways to accomplish things and that everyone in their circle whether it be their professional or personal ones have something to bring to the table. Think of it this way. I may take the 405 freeway to get to LAX, you may take the 105 freeway. You may think the 105 is quicker. Does it often matter as long as we get to the same destination? There are multiple ways to get to our destinations. Appreciate the different routes and methods people use in life to get their and that sometimes you may be provided with another route, what’s the harm in taking it?

Marinate on that…

CG2