Stepping Out

Stepping Out And Taking A Chance: Living Your Dream

By Chris L. Gilrath, II.

“It’s not in what you thought I should be doing. It is not in what you think I should be doing.  It’s not in what you say I’m doing. It’s in what’s going to happen.”

Whitney Houston

Introduction:

I know what most of you are thinking. “Why is he quoting Whitney Houston?” But think about that phrase. Really, really think about that phrase. Have you ever thought this way? Have you ever been pigeonholed or stifled by what people think you should be doing? Are you afraid of trying new things or taking a chance because you are afraid of what others might think of you? Are you afraid to pursue your dream because reality and society tells you it could not be done?  It is really hard to step out on faith and pursue your dreams. For one, you might be afraid of what others think of you, and what you might think of yourself. For all of you struggling with this, I encourage you to read on…

 

Part I:  Drama , Insecurity, and Discontent

I think back to this last year. I had been teaching for the last four years. My first year, I loved teaching. It was rewarding, fulfilling and quite an experience. Everything that I had done in my life had led me to teach. I felt that way for the first three years of teaching in the urban school district. The last year of teaching had been very much a grind. I had found myself getting busier, and busier. I took a new position within the school on top of teaching that called for me to not only teach, but also administer discipline and deal with a lot of students who I may not have even had in the classroom. I found myself tired, grouchy, and not wanting to give the job my all. When I came home, I just literally crashed on the couch. I did not want to lesson plan, grade papers, or the thousand other outside tasks that came with teaching. Deep down, I knew that perhaps it was time to move on for a while. I ignored the sign. I kept at it, and I was more and more miserable. I was coming to work and just going through the motions. I was tired. I did not have time for church, my family, or my other relationships. I was also dealing with the issue of trying to get fully certified at the time. It came down to my job being on the line because of not being able to be fully certified by the end of the year. As it would turn out, I was not able to and I was not able to retain my job.

For the most part, I was not upset – at first. Throughout the summer, I was in denial about not having a job. I was like “I get paid through August, so I will be good.” I attempted to look at other teaching jobs in another state because their certification laws were a little looser. However,  when it came time to apply for those jobs I did not. Everything was all good until August, when school started back up. It began to hit me that I would not be at work with my friends, the students I formed relationships with and now had to face the trauma of telling everyone that I was without a job. 

What was the fear? For the last for years, teaching had been my identity. When I would see family members, or friends they would ask my “How are the kids?” or “How is your school year going?” It was hard for me whenever the question was asked. I fell into a state of depression for a few weeks. I felt worthless. I felt like I was lazy, and that I threw my career down the tubes. I was blaming myself, attacking myself and thinking the worst of everyone and thought everyone thought the worst of me. My defenses were up. I was on the attack anytime anyone had anything to say to me.  What I did not now at the time was that God was preparing me to do something great and he was in the process of gearing me towards something else.

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Part II

The Breakthrough

One night I was on the couch, and I was down, real down. I was thinking of myself as a relative failure and that nobody would look at me the same again. Once everyone found out that I lost my job, everyone else would think I was failure as well. I fell asleep on the couch feeling as low as I could have ever felt. I let the devil convince me that my friends were against me. As it turned out, I woke up on the couch at about 6:00 in the morning. Joyce Meyer was on the television. She was literally speaking to everything I was going through. She talked about insecurity; she talked about doubt, and feeling sorry for yourself and how it was just a trick of Satan to keep you from having joy. I literally felt something wake up in me. At the end of the sermon, she talked about a book called In Pursuit of Peace. I knew I had to have this book. It talked about anxiety and discontentment. I knew I needed this book. I was broke at the time so I was not able to buy the book, so I decided to check the book at the library. I was not able to find the book, but I put it on hold for whenever it came in. In the meantime, I had put another book on hold two by Meyer, called Battlefield of the Mind. This book became available before the other book, so I decided to pick it up. God led me to that book. The book literally spoke to everything that I was going through. Being anxious about my bills, feeling like all my friends had abandoned me, feeling sorry for myself, having negative thoughts. All of that was me. Each day as I would read and journal, the book literally spoke to everything and was delivering me from all of the chains that had held me down for so long. I was able to get a handle on all of it. It was like therapy for me. It was God talking to me.

I began to understand what God was revealing to me. The devil was trying to convince me to give up. He was trying to get me to feel like teaching was the only thing that defined me and I would be lost without it. After all, I had being done so much to get to this point. But God revealed to me that sometimes we are only supposed to do things for a season before he has something else for you to do. So this was my season. This whole time what I had not realized was that God was allowing for me to pursue another dream of mine-writing. Now, I have been writing, and writing and it has in turn been so very freeing for me. I took my experiences and my observations and penned my first book “Seriously… Enough Already!” a book about issues that are imposed on issues and us that we sometimes impose on others. I thought back to the bank. I remember that last year working there hating the job. I had so much anxiety, so much tension. I was literally aging. I was lied on, deceived, and people were plotting against me, which ultimately resulted in me losing my job. I was fired from the bank. God allowed me to go through that, so that he could bless me with the teaching job. He was gearing me towards that. He allowed me to teach, to write. Everything happens for a reason, each season that I experienced was gearing me for another season, bigger and better than the last.

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Part III: In Pursuit of a Dream

It literally only took me three months to write my first book. I loved every minute of the writing process. I was so thankful to God for giving me the gift of writing. I was also growing and getting closer to God in the process. I had allowed my relationship with God to fall by the wayside. God allowed me this time to grow closer to him again and recommit myself. As I was growing closer, God gave me more to say and was freeing my mind. I also decided to get physically fit, I began to run in the park and focus on me and God. It gives me so much clarity. As I was running one day, God gave me an idea for book #2. He gave me the outline, the chapters, and the groundwork. Another day, as I was running and reading the story of Abraham and Sarah from the bible, he gave me an idea for a screenplay. Then another day he gave me the story for my first fiction novel.  Currently, I have three books and one screenplay in the works. Isn’t amazing how God works? The manuscript for “Seriously? Enough Already!” is finished. I am working on editing the book proposal and the query letter. If I had not lost my job, I would not  have been able to do any of this but more importantly, I would not have been able to take that time to work on myself and get the help that I so needed. I know that I am going to be a very successful writer and screenwriter. It has always been a dream of mine. I have always had stories to tell, and have loved talking to people sharing my opinions on the world, and other matters.

It has been hard sharing this with everyone. If its nothing something that is concrete people do not take you seriously. I am sure as some read this, they are saying “Oh he won’t make it. That is a hard industry to crack into.” I have had visions of appearing on talk shows, radio shows, and being a success. Then reality would set in and go “Oh this is not going to happen. Why would a ordinary guy like me from Kansas City be on that level? Get your heads out of the clouds Chris.” Then, I read the chapter from Joyce Meyer’s book called Mind Blowing Spirits. I discovered that Joyce Meyer had similar thoughts and now look at her today.  She suffered from what she calls listening to those “mind blowing spirits”. These spirits allowed caused all types of reasoning and logic to get in the way of what God called for her to do. I know it is hard for some of you to believe, but that is what it is all about. I encourage all of you to pursue your dreams and not just do something to “get paid”. At the end of the day, you are miserable and unhappy, and more importantly unfulfilled. I do not want anyone to feel sorry for me because I am not working a 9-5 job right now. I am doing what I need to be doing. I would not trade this experience or any of my experiences that I have gone through good or bad with anything in this world, it has geared me towards what I know is going to be my greatest success. Please understand, that a job or title does not define who you are. It does not define me. God is working through me. Am I 100% yet, no absolutely not. There are days that I struggle with insecurity and doubt. Those days I just pray harder. I thank God I am not longer 10% anymore. I am better. I encourage all of you to encourage others, even if you do not fully understand what they or doing. It is not for you to understand. When I told a few people about the job loss I got things such as:

“What are you gonna do now?”

“Teaching was you, now what do you do?”

“How are you going to make it?”

“Why aren’t you freaking out?”

It was hard for me at first to hear those things. To be honest, it was the whole reason I did not tell a lot of people for fear of those questions. Now, my answer is “God is gearing me for something bigger and better. If you don’t understand it, I am sorry.” I appreciate the concern, but understand I am doing my best work right now. I think of living to the standards that others have placed on me. Then I think of the Whitney Houston quote (see above) Am I where I need to be financially right now? No, I am struggling. However, I have not gone a day without food, or shelter. God has been providing for me and he will continue to do so. I have some money coming in. I am living a dream, I never thought I would.  When things seem down, and you are at your very lowest, know that God is getting you ready for a breakthrough and you are about to be blessed beyond measure. You just have to trust- I am.

God has begun a good work in me. He will be able to bring it into completion.

Philippians 1:6

Stay tuned…the best is yet to come! J

The Writing’s of Chris Gilrath, II: 

• “Seriously?… Enough Already!” (non-fiction; Self-help)
• Waiting and All It’s Craziness (screenplay/stage play)

·        Wait A Minute!: I’m A Work In P.R.O.G.R.E.S.S (non-fiction; self-help)

• Transformed (novel)

Encouarge Yourself

Encouragement – Pass It On

By Chris L. Gilrath, II

Think about these things? What if Barrack Obama listened to everyone who said, “Being President is hard work. You should not do it.” What if someone told Oprah Winfrey that poor little black girls from the south could never be a television reporter or be on television? What if Tyler Perry listened to the people around him and told him that because of his past his future would be forever tarnished? The message is simple. If these people listened to the haters or negative people in their lives, we would not have 1. The FIRST African-American president of the United States 2. The most powerful person in all of media, 3.The first African-American to own his own movie company.

When you think of someone who comes to you and says that want to be a basketball star, actor, or poet. Think of what your response can do to that person. Think about it. You could be discouraging the next Michael Jordan, Denzel Washington, and Maya Angelou. Often times if is not a 9-5 job, we like to tare down people and say it could never be done. We say things such as “Do you know how many basketball players there are out there?” or “Oh that is such a hard industry to crack into.” Yes, this is true. Are these reasons to not try? No of course not.  A lot of times, people need encouragement from others. Often times, people do not share their dreams out loud because of the excessive reasoning they get from their parents, friends, or other people.

Of course it takes talent and potential to be able to have something to work with. You have to be able to sing to aspire to be a singer. You have to have basketball skills to be able to take it to the next level. However, think about Michael Jordan. He did not start off as the a great basketball player, he had to really work and work at it. How far do you think he would have gotten if he did not have support and encouragement.

Encourage Yourself:

I think a lot of people are happier if you are miserable like they are. If you are not working a 9-5 40 hour per week job in which you come home miserable, you are a “lazy bum”. I think of my pursuits as a writer, screenwriter and motivational speaker. I think about all the time I have invested in working different jobs: banking, retail, education, and customer service. With the exception of education, all of the other jobs made me miserable. I did not like talking on the phone with angry, grouchy customers about their overdraft accounts. That was simply not my bag. Yes, it paid the bills but I was simply miserable. It was not bringing me fulfillment. I taught for a few years, and enjoyed it. However, circumstances came along and took me from teaching, no matter how hard I fought to stay in it. I was angry that I was not teaching but I believe God spoke to me and said “I never said you would be doing this forever.” It was only for a season to prepare you for your next blessing.” It was hard for me to come to this realization. Yet I have. I am grateful for what God has called me to do. He has given me the gift of writing. Sure, not everybody understands what I am doing. I can think particularly to one person in which I shared my pursuits and some of the progress that I had made with the book that I was writing. The person then responded by saying,  “Have you found a job yet.” No encouragement or praise for the good works that I was doing. It was then I realized that not everyone was going to be on board with what I was doing. Again, if it is not a 9-5 job or something that could be explained through excessive reasoning, then it made no sense. I can understand the concern. I understand the fear. Some of the things asked of me were things that I asked myself. Of course. I understand.

However, I think to what I know. I think of all the time, talent, and work that God has invested in me. He would not call me to write if he did not have a great work in store for me.

To all of you who have a dream that does not involve a 9-5. I am not saying quit your job tomorrow and be broke or not have a game plan. What I am saying is that take some time to invest in what you are doing. Really think about it. If you are in a job that makes you miserable, why stay? Life is too short not to do what makes you happy. If you are working in collection agency and you have dreams of being a doctor. Take steps to be a doctor. Do what you have to do to make that happen. 

Encourage yourself. If you have a dream or a goal, do it. If God has birthed a vision in you, do not ignore it by excessive reasoning and logic. If God has a plan for you to do it, there is nothing that man can do to tare it down.

A New Television Predator

We Are Doing The Most! The Top Six Annoying Commercials

Okay, you turn on the television and you discover there is a predator on our televisions. We try to make it go away and no matter how hard we try they keep coming back to bite us. We get annoyed, we get dismayed, and some of us may even throw things. What am I talking about- annoying television commercials.

We try to watch our shows and no matter what, we are forced and subjected to the countless number of commercials from companies trying to get us to buy their products or do something that requires us to take action. There are so many annoying commercials and television shows out there right now. Do you feel like I do? Well if you do, please follow along and see if these things on television annoy you as much as do they do me.

Annoying Commercial # 1: Feminine Hygiene Commercials: 

“I found out the hard way, not all washes take care of feminine odor.”

Is this girl for real? How do you find out the hard way? This commercial is really doing the most. Why am I being subjected to this annoying commercial? First of all, soap is something we all have to buy (or you would think people would buy). I do not understand why there has suddenly been a surplus market for annoying female hygiene commercials. The girls in these commercials are always so dramatic and annoying. And I know the poor girls in these commercials are just actresses trying to get out there. But seriously, do you really want to be known as the “girl with the stinky odor”? I mean don’t those products have to be purchased anyway? Come on. I could without seeing 50 of these type of commercials on television everyday. I hope I am not sounding like a chauvinist pig here. But come on. These commercials are seriously doing way too much.

 

 

Annoying Commercial #2: Yogurt Commercials

I am really confused as to why all of a sudden yogurt has been the food of champions? I mean hasn’t yogurt been around for years and years? Now all of a sudden yogurt has become this new power food or something. There are umpteen commercials about the power of yogurt. There is the one where this skinny girl who is probably some type of model is debating or whether or not she should have a slice of raspberry cheesecake and she has this long conversation with herself. While she is listening to all of the voices in her head as to why or why not she should have the cheesecake, an even skinnier girl comes to the refrigerator and gets the raspberry cheesecake yogurt. Obviously, this is meant to be our AHAA moment and go oh okay, we can eat this instead of the cheesecake. Then there are other yogurt commercials where people are running through the woods, smiling laughing, with some lame folk music playing in the background. Wow, I really did not know yogurt had this much power. I guess yogurt really does save lives. Then you have the yogurt with Jamie Lee Curtis that is on like every 2-3 commercials. Every time I see Jamie Lee Curtis, all I can hear is “ACTIVIA!” I really do not want to wait fourteen days to “go”. Sorry. We get the message: Yogurt is awesome! I guess everybody needs to get on the bus. It will save you!!

Annoying Commercial #3: Auto Insurance Commercials

Okay, I think everybody knows you have to have auto insurance. It is a legal requirement. But why are there so many insurance commercials right now? I have to admire Safe-Auto’s relentless marketing campaign and the Justin Case guy, who is obviously trying to make a name for himself. But come on, it really evident who Safe-Auto is trying to market to: those people who otherwise cannot get insurance from other places. I was in the inner city the other day and I saw at least three Safe-Auto billboards, I really don’t see them anywhere else. And the commercial where they have the girl dancing in the cubical then Justin Case comes in and does this really bad Michael Jackson dance. This commercial is just awkward to watch. Yes we know we got to have coverage and we want to save money, but all these commercials make me want to do is go with the other guy. Then you have the one with the black actor from Waiting To Exhale narrating some insurance story and telling a dynamic story as if he is talking about Star Wars or something. I have to admit I do like the commercials from Allstate where the guy is acting like different incidents: “I’m a teenage girl”; “I’m a windstorm”. I like those. However we don’t see enough of them. Obviously there must be a lot of people out there without insurance right now.

Annoying Commercial #4: Prescription Drug Commercials

I think if I get sick, I will just drink some orange juice and or have a coke and a smile. These commercials are really ridiculous. For one you have some paid actor who I seriously doubt takes the actual prescription endorsing the product. The prescription drugs always have the same types of names such as Lastatsis, Rasiatas, Lestisn. Cialis, Actilis, Glucerna, or Lecurna. They have prescription drugs for everything now from making your eyelashes longer, to looking like Cindy Crawford. Come on. Is it that serious? And the side effects? Do you notice how quick they run through those side effects? It is ridiculous. Think about it. They run through them (side effects) so fast, and normally when they give you the side effects, you see the actors in the commercial running through a field, having dinner with a friend, or serving dinner or something. Are they doing this so we don’t pay attention to the side effects? It is really crazy. You hear things such as:

• “Known to give you black spots all over your face that are irreversible.”
• “Has been known to raise blood pressure in 90% of cases.”
• “Do not take if you have brown eyes, blue eyes, or you have toenails.”
• “Has been known to cause abdominal bleeding.”
• “Can cause diarrhea, constipation, or irritable bowel syndrome.” (Wow so I get a buffet of all types of embarrassing stomach problems. That is hard to resist).
• “Ask your doctor if this drug is right for you.”

With all of those side effects, is it really worth the risk. And these commercials are equally as dramatic as the feminine hygiene commercials. The acting is terrible even by the actors who we all know and love. I think there are people who just smoke joints and come up with these ridiculous prescriptions. They (prescription drugs) have become the new home remedies that our grandmothers and mothers would have for us all the time. “Oh you have a an ingrown toenail, take this drug. It may cause you your four other toes to fall off, but it is worth it to cure that ingrown toenail which usually heals itself.” Come on. We wonder why drug addiction has reached an all time high.

Annoying Commercial #5: Political Ads

This is probably the most annoying to me. Every election year, you get these commercials. None of them have served the purpose other than to get on my nerves. Each commercial is a character attack on another candidate. It is name-calling propaganda at its best. In these ads, the candidate or the organization representing them goes on the attack of the opposing candidate brining up a bunch of fallacies and half-truths. None of the commercials just focus on the candidate and what they can do for me the voter.  Do these ads really work? As an intelligent voter, I know better. They’re probably a few weak-minded people out there who fall for these ads. Think about what these ads do to that cynical person who is already jaded by politics. Seeing these name-calling and fear propaganda ads probably only further dissuade them.  I love the ones that talk about protecting our country and our rights if we vote for the candidate. Seriously? As we got closer to November, the commercials just get worst. Yes, both sides are doing it. Most of them are a response to the other. It is just gotten to be too much. I will say this; I am tired of all the ads that attack President Obama. I thought he was already in office? I have never seen so much hatred for a man who is doing the best he can with the mess he inherited (more to come on that later).

Annoying Commercial #6: Men Shrinking Commercials

For some reason in society now, it has gotten okay to show men as being weak and submissive. Has anybody else noticed the large amounts of commercials where appear weak and submissive while the wife or girlfriend calls all the shots? One commercial is where a guy is on the phone and he is talking about all the foods he gets to eat, when in reality he is talking about yogurt flavors that his wife has made him eat. His wife comes into the kitchen and hears him bragging on the phone. When he notices that his wife hears him, he says, “I gotta go.” and then he hangs up. Is he afraid his wife is going to beat him up? Then you have the one where the guy walks in with his friends only to discover his “man cave” has been changed to a “mommy room”. Okay, is this what society feels relationships should be now? You don’t see commercials where men are dominating women like that. If you did, you would have all types of activist groups complaining about them. I think these commercials have sent the message that is okay for just one person to have control in a relationship. It is okay for one person to be bossy and make all the decisions for the other. I know it is just a commercial bout come on it is super annoying to be subjected to this.

Unconditional Love

Unconditional Love

"There is always something left to love...When do you think is the time
to love somebody the most? When they done good and made things easier
for everybody? Well then, you ain't through learning - because that
ain't the time at all. It's when he or she is at his/her lowest and can't believe
in hisself' cause the world done whipped him so."   Raisin In The Sun

Webster’s dictionary defines "unconditional" as "not conditional or limited". I think we all know what love means. When I think of unconditional love, I think of parents. No matter what you do, you parents will always love you. They may not always agree with what you do or what you say, but at the end of the day, they will love you. You may have stolen money from mom and dad, broken a treasured family vase or dish, or had an angry word. No matter what, your parents will forgive you and meet you with unconditional love.   I think of Jesus Christ, no matter how bad we mess up, he will always love us and forgive us. His grace and mercy is everlasting.

So the question I pose is: Why is it so hard  for us to forgive others and show people unconditional love? I am asking myself this question as well. It is often hard for us to forgive when we have been wronged. We feel justified in being angry when we refuse to forgive.  Sometimes, if we are not careful, that anger can turn to hatred. The question is though, what does that anger and resentment prove? At the end of the day, what is it going to do but harden up our hearts and keep us from experiencing joy? 
Often times when we feel someone has wronged us, we often start to suffer from selective memory or amnesia when it comes to how we have wronged others. We easily forget that at some point in our lives we have done something to offend someone and maybe sometimes we have not even asked for forgiveness ourselves. But then when somebody has done something wrong to us, we are ready to summon up the firing squad and cast judgment on that person. When one person messes up, their good deeds become overshadowed by that one lapse in judgment or offense. Sure, what that person has done may be a bigger infraction in our eyes than what we have ever done to someone else. But ultimately, does that matter? In God’s eyes, isn’t it all the same?

Why is it so hard for families and friends to forgive one another? We may forgive sometimes, but then we have conditions as to how we forgive. Does God have conditions when he forgives us?

Am I saying we should not get angry, of course not. There are times when people do things that make us mad, and we feel like we will never be able to get past that anger or hatred towards another person. That is understandable. But think about all that energy and time you have wasted hating or being angry with someone. We take years to forgive others by avoiding them or acting childish by giving them the cold shoulder or cursing them out which just makes the situation worse. When the person you are mad at comes around,  you automatically freeze up and stop enjoying yourself because now you are so fixated on that person and what they did to you that you cannot have a good time. You have allowed your anger and pride to steal your joy. You get mad at others for not joining your cause and being mad with you. We often take the high school approach towards our unwillingness to forgive someone. “I am mad at him/her, so you need to be mad too.”  Then we get mad at others for not being mad too. We want people to take sides.  We act like this towards the people we love, yet when we have offended someone, we expect his or her forgiveness and understanding to be instantaneous, and then have the audacity to get offended ourselves when they don’t forgive us.

Life is too short to stay mad at people. We (myself included) like to judge others when they have done something often forgetting what we have done to others. Life is too short to stay mad for things that have already happened. Pray on your anger, and move on. It is the only way you will enjoy life. Forgive, not for person who offended you, but for you so that you can be free. Just think, someone in your life has shown you unconditional love, why not return the favor? Forgive- it is the only way you will enjoy life and have peace.

Love and blessings.

Money and Possessions: Can You Take It With You?

Money certainly brings out the worst in people.

Money a word that is simple to pronounce and to spell has so many different connotations. I have seen firsthand this week what money can do people and better  yet to families. I think we have to understand that money is not everything. I am in no means financially wealthy so I can say this. Often times people say "Oh it is easy to say when you are rich." Well I am not rich. As a matter of fact, financially I am struggling right now. Yet, I am still happy. My joy does not come from my financial wealth. Sure like everyone else, I would love to be financially comfortable and not have to sometimes worry about the new pizza place called FINAL NOTICE being placed on my door (That is all for all of you Roseanne lovers out there).
However there are other things that bring me joy like good friendships, a nice book, writing, and good music. The most important thing is that money and possessions are not meant to define us. It saddens me when I see people fighting over material possessions. You see it all the time, you see ex-wives and children fighting over a famous person's estate because they feel entitled to whatever they feel they are entitled too. Think about this, the money, possessions was never theirs to begin with.

I certainly hope the lord blesses me to see a long life where I have children and grandchildren. I certainly want my legacy to be the knowledge I left to them and the work ethic I have left behind. Not the riches (if I have any) houses, possessions, or things that can easily be destroyed. Yet they can also destroy families. Money also causes people to do things out of desperation and anxiety. A love of money can cause a lot of things. Look at the number of robberies, embezzlement cases, and things such as prostitution and drug dealing that have been in the headlines. All for the bottom line of making that money. It is difficult to understand why people act that way for a love of money, but maybe it is not for us to understand.
Are you waiting for a financial blessing? Don't worry, it will come. Meanwhile, let us not suffer from a sense of entitlement for things that were never ours to begin with. It will only bring more heartache and grief. You can't take any of it with you.
Be blessed.