My How We Have Forgotten

“ Can it be it was all so simple then…”?

That was the first line of the hit Barbara Streisand or Gladys Knight song, “Memories (The Way We Were). Think back to being a kid, especially in the summertime. It was a time of playing kickball in the streets, running hide and go seek, listening for the Ice-Cream man, and enjoying all of those goodies that mom, and Grandma would make for us. We loved those days, and sometimes we long for those days as adults. Life was drama free, and exciting. We could not imagine being older adults and having children of our own.
Now we have become adults and with all that is going on the world, we have forgotten some of what it was like to be a child. We have gotten so sensitive as a nation that we have begun to make life much more harder then it needs to be. What memories are we depriving our children of now? For the most part, I have kept silent on the matter because I have no children of my own and felt my input on this subject was somewhat skewed but last week when I found out that certain cities are trying to ban the ice-cream man because it was too loud and causing too much of a disturbance. That is when I had enough. It is bad enough that we have gotten rid of children being allowed to bring in homemade snacks for holidays parties in grade school, it is crazy that we no longer make our children go outside and play, but banning the ice cream truck man? Come on! This is where we should draw the line.
Now I am a full total advocate of healthy eating and I believe that a lot of health issues are formed in our childhoods, but we want to also deprive our children of the snacks we used to eat as children. No longer can a kid have a lollipop, eat a Popsicle, and eat a potato chip without it being made a federal case. I think we have really forgotten what it was like as children. Think back to that simple time. What would our lives have been without a Bomb Pop, Eskimo Pie, or Jell-O Pudding Pop (speaking of which bring those back too)? We have gotten too uptight as adults in some cases. Who would have ever thought that as kids? As I was writing this article I thought of what Adam Sandler’s character in Mr. Deeds said, “You know, if your nine-year olds saw you guys the way you are, you'd get your butts kicked right now! I mean, look what's happened to us!”

We need to grip and not be so uptight about everything. With all that is going on in the world, our children of today need the children of yesterday to really teach them what it is like to be a child before the children of tomorrow have nothing to look forward to.

Marinate on that…
CG2

I'm Already Doing That!

I’m Already Doing That!


Imagine this scenario. You are going through the eye of the storm. You are frustrated, your car broke down, your girlfriend left you, and your family is causing all types of upheaval. You go to your friend or family member for some much-needed advice and you are expecting some life epiphany from them, and you get those three dreaded words, “Hang In There!” Seriously?? That is what I get? Hang in there? That is so profound. Thank you for that because of that my life seems so much better….
Why do I seem so angry about those three little words? Because that is not really offering anything concrete or sustainable that actually just seems really passive and not a real offer of any advice. Now I am not exempt from using these words, there are times when I have been guilty of using or offering up that advice. A friend or loved one sends me a text or post something on social media and I respond back with “Hang in there!” Then I go, “Really Chris? Did you just offer up that lame advice?” My second point is that when someone tells me to “Hang in there.” I want to tell them, “I’m already doing that!” First of all, I am “hanging in there” when I get out of bed each morning and put one foot in front of the other to face the challenges of another day. I am already “hanging in there” when I put my clothes on and go out into that cold, cold world prayed up and ready for whatever challenges face me and I know that there are some. I am “hanging in there” by not totally withdrawing from the world and becoming a hermit. I am “hanging in there” by not going off on someone who went off on me. I am already doing that. What else do you got?
I am not angry, most people’s hearts are in the right place when they offer up that advice but more is needed most of the time when someone is coming to you with a problem. And sometimes, "Hang in there." is all we know how to say because we just do not know what to say. Sometimes, saying "I am clueless as to how to help you, let me just pray for you." Or, "Let me pray for you or get someone that knows about this.." That would be better. I am always inspired by someone who has went through a similar situation and they actually explain how they “hung in there” they do not just say the words. Of course it is no problem to share your advice, share your testimony, then say “Hang in there.” Of course the phrase then has more meat to it.
So the next time somebody comes to you with some advice and they pour their hearts out to you, at least pray for them, mentor them, give them some good advice, but the last thing you want to say is just “Hang in there…” they deserve more than that. Remember your challenges and situations, hang in there is the least we can do especially if we are Children of God. It is how we hang in there that counts.

Just my five cents…

Gimmie Gimmie: Mo Money, Mo Money, Mo Money!

Who remembers Michael Douglas’s infamous line in Wall Street where he goes “Greed is good.” ? I am sure most hard-core movie buffs remember that line. Often at times art imitates life. No matter how hard we say movies are fantasy escapism, they mirror something in reality. The movie Wall Street dealt with a lot of corporate espionage, the love of the almighty dollar, which of course leads to greed. We often associate that with the 80s, The Me Decade.
Fast forward to some twenty-six years later. Are we still seeing greed? The answer is quite simply yes. Greed is everywhere. We see people in our families that want more and more from us. It is like our children. We take them to store, tell them they can get one toy or one candy, yet they want more. They want a DVD, some new shoes. One thing is never enough. We give loved ones and friends help and money when they need it, yet they always want more. Often times at the end of the day, it is never, never enough.
Businesses are not exempt from being greedy. Today, I found out that a very famous amusement park was raising their prices once again charging hard-working citizens of this country and citizens of other countries who come to visit a mind-boggling $92 in lieu of their already expensive $86. When I found that out earlier, it blew my mind and instantly made me angry. I could not fathom how a company so big on family fun, love of people, and dream creations could be comfortable charging families such an expensive fare. It is hard to consider when you are already paying for parking, paying for the expensive food and merchandise that you have to pay even more in admission (which by the way does not get you anything but just entry into the park). I went to the Internet to see what was behind this rising price increase expecting to see something such as rising expenses, budget constraints, etc. What I found was it was just “market research” that showed that this was a reasonable fare. Seriously?? Reasonable?? If you ask me, it sounds like plain on greed. The company already racks millions upon millions of dollars in sales from admission cost, concessions, merchandise, and parking. Why justify another pay increase when so many are struggling in this economy?
Now I understand parents who say its worth it just to see their kids smiling faces and the joy that it brings to their children. Perhaps if I were a parent I would feel differently. But that should be the very reason that the prices should come down. There are a lot of parents who would love to see their children light up and go to the park. What parent would not want to take their child. My parents took us (of course it was the 80s and everything was considerably cheaper). However there are a lot of parents who simply cannot afford that especially if you have more than two children. A price deduction would be nice.
A few months back I went to a hospital and saw something extremely disturbing. Some hospitals now charge visitors of patients and in some situations potential patients going to the emergency rooms a parking fee. You have got to be kidding me. You are charging people to come see their loved ones? Again, people are struggling in this economy and sometimes even $5 is a lot to come by. I again went to the Internet to research the reasoning and the answer was quite simple, “To generate revenue” which to me equals greed. Hospitals already make huge profits from their patients by nickel and dimeing them on every little thing while they stay there. How can you in good conscious justify charging patients to park. Kudos to those hospitals and medical buildings that have not gave in to this method. There are other obvious ways to generate revenue.
Grocery stores and retail are not exempt from dealing with greed. How many times have you walked into a store and seen lines that mirror the Department of Motor Vehicles on the last day of the month? One store (who shall remain nameless) often times has only four lanes (out of 24) open. The shelves look as if customers just bum rushed the store due to a threat of a natural disaster. Now the merchandise is there ready to have a home just like the Island of Misfit Toys but to no avail, the corporate Santa refuses to pay or hire new elves to stock or check the people out at the store because they do not want to take from their billions of profits. If this is not greed, I challenge you to find me a better example or definition.

Deceptive Advertising & Extra Fees
How many times have you walked into a grocery store and seen a sign in big black bold letters, “FREE”? You get super excited, you go over to the item, then you see at the bottom words in tiny, tiny writing that would require you to have Superman type vision to decipher and make out. You take the item over to the checkout to claim as free then you find out what the verbiage at the bottom says is “When you by two or more at original price.”
Now I love me some bacon, laundry detergent, soda, and chicken as much as the next guy, but what exactly would I be saving by buying two or more of the same item when all I really needed was one in the first place? Other false or misleading advertising includes things like on two-liter soda. Often times, when I walk in to a certain store, I see that that my favorite Ginger Ale, or other soda is on sale for .88 cents. The first time I fell for this, I went to the checkout stand with my bottle of soda and it rang up regular price. I politely corrected the cashier and said that it was on sale. The cashier then tells me that it is only .88 cents when you buy 10. Okay, why would I want to buy $10 worth of soda? Am I preparing for the apocalypse? And even then would I really be worried about consuming ginger ale or cola? How many times do you see some ad on television that advertises some new item that “you simply cannot live without for only $19.95. If you act now, you can get two for $19.95 (but you pay shipping and handling for both items). Do you see how this works? So I really do not get the second item free because I am paying double for the shipping and handling which sometimes cost more then the original item itself.

Don’t get me wrong, I am all for increasing revenue and making money. You cannot be a successful business any other way, but when does increasing revenue give way to greed? This economy is tough on everyone and can companies can do their part to help people out. No, this is not an article about wanting “free stuff” or a “handout” but about not giving way to the greed monster. We are all guilty of being greedy at times, but it is nothing to be brag and be comfortable about. The opposite of greed is sharing. Sharing is caring. We can all afford to be a little more generous with our increases. If companies like those big amusement park chains decreased their admission cost by 3 to 10% just imagine how much more their revenue would increase. If certain retail stores hired more employees, the customers would come back to their stores and shop thus increasing the revenue. You have to look at the bigger picture. It goes back to that old adage, “You have to spend money, to make money.” This would seem to fit perfectly here.

Greed is not good. No not at all.

Be Optimistic

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PpvAil65yJc


"I know the storms and strife crowd up your outlook on life. Just think ahead and you’ll be inspired to reach higher and higher."
-Sounds of Blackness - Optimistic


I have always loved the song "Optimistic" by The Sounds of Blackness. I remember when the song came out in 1991 and I was immediately drawn to it. I first heard it on the way to Dallas and wondered who sung the song. I remember finally watching the video on Video Soul and I was just in awe of this large number of people singing. It was like the first time I saw a mainstream Choir nationally. It resonated with me. I remember always stopping whatever I was doing whenever the video came on. I found myself playing the song whenever I felt the need not knowing then that twenty years later what an impact the song would have on my life. …

Fast forward to the present day. Last night I played the video and when it got to the 4th solo by Sounds of Blackness member Patricia Lacy-Aiken I did not even realize that I had tears flowing down my face. For some reason that verse (see above) always gets me. I think it was because in the video Patricia had a warm and nurturing smile on her face as she was saying “Just think ahead and you’ll be inspired.” Tears were flowing down my face because of everything that I had been through recently with the loss of my Grandmother and Aunt, losing my job, and just feeling pretty low. I was not crying because of the situations, I was crying because I was feeling better. My pain was lifting. I felt like God was giving me a sign that a new season was coming.

I was also crying because I thought back to a few years ago, when I lost another job and someone close to me that night instead of encouraging me basically ridiculed me and made me feel even worse for losing my job, I felt sad until I remembered the song that had gotten me through so many difficult times. For that negativity, I popped up the video and saw a family of encouraging voices telling me, “You will always do your best, if you learn to never say never. You may be down but you’re not out.” I felt like they were also telling me, “Do not listen to that person. You are somebody, you matter, and God has you.” No, I never thought that when I first heard the song twenty years ago that it would still be such a force in my life today. For the last few weeks, I had not been inspired to write anything because of everything I had been through but thankful to God that he brought this song back into my life, it has inspired me once again to keep on moving and keep it pushing. The tears also came from revelation that God put this song in my life twenty-two years ago because he knew what my story was going to be and he knew I would need it. Isn’t it amazing how God works?

Mary J. Blige credits this song as one of the songs that got her through some of her darkest days and over the last few days I have read countless other stories of how the song saved people dealing with depression, struggling with grief, and having thoughts of suicide, it literally saved their lives. I read an interview where Sounds of Blackness bandleader Gary Hines said a woman rushed the stage to give him a note. The note said that the song saved her because she was struggling with the loss of her mother it saved her life.
As the song encouraged me, I want to use it to encourage you today. The video is included. Think of it as a family of people encouraging you and singing, “You can win, as long as you keep your head to sky…”

Music is truly a healer. It touches the soul through levels one can never imagine.

BE OPTIMISTIC!!

Vindication Day!

“The best revenge is to live on and prove yourself” - Eddie Van Halen


Revenge. What comes to mind when you think of that word? Often maybe we think of a plot on Dallas when J.R Ewing played by the late Larry Hagman getting back at Cliff Barnes for some scheme, or maybe even the new television show on ABC called Revenge. But what comes to my mind is something totally different. I often heard the quote that success is the best revenge and often times I really wondered what that meant. How does that really work? Up until a few months ago, I really had no idea how that applied to my life. What I have come to find out is that what it means is that instead of seeking revenge like a jilted lover in a daytime soap opera, there is a much easier way to handle your enemies. After all, what you normally see on these shows is that the revenge plot often backfires and the person seeking revenge usually pays a heavier price than the person they intended it for. At the end of the day, was it really worth it?
Over the past few years, I have suffered a lot of adversity and strife. Some of it was my own doing, some of it was natural like the loss of loved ones, and some of it was at the hands of others. What do you do when you suffer at the hands of others? The answer is quite simple, you do not let them know that you are suffering. First, I think of workplace issues. Over the last few years, there have been some painful and hurtful issues occur at the workplace. There has been some two-facedness, some lies told, and some backbiting. These situations made it hard for me to trust but you have to push forward. At the end of the day, those people who want your job or your position, you have to decide what is the best method to handle these types of situations. You have to give it over to God. When things are done underhanded and sneaky, it always, always gets revealed. And at the end of the day those trying to tare you down, have to watch as God moves you forward, upward, and over that mountain. You gain a new level of success. And you then realize that where you were at was hindering your growth. That is what I am coming to find out. As Oprah would say this would be my "Aha!moment".

“To be angry is to revenge the faults of others on ourselves.” - Alexander Pope


The last hurtful situation stung a little bit because I felt things could have been handled differently, and I really did not see it coming but I realize now that once again I was getting comfortable and stagnant in this place and it was taking away from what God really had for me. Again, when you get comfortable and God has a new level of favor and a new season coming your way, he takes some things out of your way. Now the people who meant evil for me, God is turning into good and pushing me forward. That is the ultimate revenge. You are not doing anything to harm or hinder those who hindered you, but you are pushing forward and living your life happy, growing and being successful. That is your vindication.

The same holds true for relationships. Everyone who is in your life is not going to be with you for the long haul. Not everyone is mature enough to handle difficult situations and as your situations grow more and more difficult, some of the people in your life will go running. They will talk behind your back, tell you are doing the wrong thing and begin to turn away. That has to happen. It is necessary for your growth and development. In some way or form, those people were also stunting your growth. The same people that push you away or turn away, stop calling or communicating have to sit back and watch as God replenishes those people with authentic relationships. Since I had some people abandon me, God has replenished with even bigger and better relationships.
Those people who left you behind also have to sit back and watch you succeed and move forward even though they were trying to hold you back. That is revenge done the right way. You are not giving them any thought, you wish them well, you move on, you grow, and you succeed. Isn’t it amazing how God works?
So as you suffer adversity at the hands of others, or because of situations caused by other people, stop feeling sorry for yourself, and angry at them because at the end of the day God is using it to advance you in to a brand new season of favor and you know what all the haters can do is sit back and watch.

Happy Vindication Day!

Your time is coming!
CG2

I Love Music!: Music Therapy

Find An Outlet

As I am sitting here right now, I am listening to “Sunshine” by Babyface and am automatically transformed back to the year 1989. I am flooded by so many memories. It is funny how a song can jog a memory or take you back to a different place. Music does that for me. For the past two weeks, I really had not listened to a lot of music because I was mourning the loss of both my Grandmother and Aunt Alleyne, but just the last few days, I slowly got back into listening to my music and began writing again, my two biggest creative releases.
1989 was obviously such a different year than 2013. As I listen to various songs from the 70s, 80s, and 90s, I am thinking of pictures, situations, and people from that era. Like every time I hear the songs “Shake” by The Gap Band, “Shining Star” by The Manhattans, “Don’t Stop The Music” by Yarbrough & Peoples, “Double Dutch Bus” by Frankie Smith, I think back to growing up as a small child at 217 N. Park in Bonner Springs which was my Grandmother’s house where my dad and his siblings grew up. I hear the songs “You, Me & He” by Mtume, “Ah, Ah, Ah” by The Jones Girls, “I Didn’t Mean To Turn You On” by Cherelle, the memories from 1984 flood back and I think of my Great-Grandparents 60th wedding anniversary and their picnic when my cousin Vincent told me that I was “too young” to listen to that music and I could not fully understand it, little did he know.
It is funny how songs can do that for you. Anything from the 90s takes me back to growing up on Insley Ave, going to the high school dances, walking one street over to Springdale, sleepovers at my cousins’ houses, and going to visit my family in California. Music is such a stress reliever and brings out so many different emotions. Sometimes, I get a little misty eyed when I hear songs from the eras I grew up in. It reminds me of simpler times, and sometimes painfully reminds me of the loved ones who are no longer here. When I hear the music I think that it was before 9/11, before Newtown or Aurora. While the 70s, 80s, and 90s were hardly all peaceful, there was a certain innocence of those decades that you cannot find today. This is why I love old school music so much. No other type of music can spark memories in my mind, reenergize me when I am feeling down or tired, and give me peace of mind. When I want to get the creative juices flowing, I put on some Anita Baker or Stevie Wonder. Nobody inspires me to write like they do.
So as you deal with the day to day hustle and bustle of life, deal with the stress and strain of it all put on a little Natalie Cole sing with reckless abandon “I’ve Got Love On My Mind” or to a little Earth, Wind & Fire telling you to cheer up with “Keep Your Head To The Sky”. There is a reason music is the universal language. It gives comfort and evokes so much emotion and reflection.

Happy Listening!

Family Ties Can't Be Broken

Family Ties Cannot Be Broken


I never thought that two months ago when I went to Kansas City for my grandmother’s Homegoing services that only six weeks later, I would be saying goodbye to her beloved sister and best friend, my dear Aunt Alleyne Wallace. I still cannot believe it. I am still in mourning and still wondering, “Did this really happen?” It is too soon after my Grandmommie passed away, it is too soon after my Aunt Benita passed away. Death has rocked our family hard this last year and a half. Sure it is a natural part of life and it is something we all have to face sooner or later, but it does not make it any easier.
One thing that gives me comfort and I am sure others as well is that my Grandmother is now reunited with her sisters and parents. They are cutting up giving each other a hard time, and they are looking down on us expecting us to carry on their legacies and their love. My grandmother and Aunt Alleyne were not sad people and could not tolerate being around anyone else who was sad and depressed. Sadness was simply not in their vocabularies. They suffered much loss and much pain, yet they never complained and never wanted anyone else to feel sorry for them.
As we continue to live our lives, I feel that there is no better time then the present to cherish the family that lives on to celebrate those who have moved on. While I may not always show it, I am so grateful for my family. We have a family that a lot of people admire and love. There are so many people who wish they could be Bolton’s. When my Grandmother and Aunt Alleyne passed away, there was such an outpouring of love shown to our family and that is truly to be appreciated. That is something that none of us should take lightly. Not everyone gets the kind of love and admiration that these three received. That is the kind of love and kind-heartedness I want to be known for.
The love that my Aunt showed everyone is something I strive for. I may sometimes fall short of that but I love all of my relatives. Each of them adds a little something, something to our family dynamic. There is always a funny story, some little gem that makes my siblings, cousins, and I chuckle. There are so many stories, so many memories. We have to continue to remember that.
In June, we will be attending our bi-annual family reunion in Las Vegas. While yes, this year reunion will be a little heavy on our hearts without Aunt Benita, Grandmommie, and Aunt Alleyne, they would want us to push forward and do the around the world for them. They would want life to go on. That being said, how do you move forward? You just do it one day at time, no matter how difficult it is. To my family, I love you all so much. While our hearts are broken and this is a fragile time for our family right now, lets continue to honor the ones who have gone on before us, by continuing to push forward one day at a time.

See you all in June.

With lots and lots of love,

Chris II aka “Little Chris”