As I get older, there are a lot of things that I no longer have time for or accept in my life. With age comes wisdom and discernment (for most people) and you know when things are not legit or better yet when people are not legit or in your corner.
If you are a working professional like I am, our schedules are packed and tight. It seems like sometimes days and weeks run together and before you know it is the weekend. Your personal time is very limited so whom you choose to spend it with is a very careful well thought out process. Therefore, you want to spend that time with people who genuinely love and care for you, who make as much effort to spend time with you as you would.
The problem is that as you get older you are able to decipher who is genuine and who is just putting on lip service and spewing out tired compliments about you every time they see you, yet their actions conflict and contradict that. You have those people you meet in settings maybe at work or through mutual friends who begin to call you “friend” and say all the right things, “Let’s hang out sometime. Let’s have a drink.” Or whatever they say. Of course, it’s always nice to have people who want to hang out with you. The reality of the situation is that some of these people have no intention of ever making time to hang out with you. You begin to wonder is it timing? Maybe schedules just contradict, maybe this maybe that, but the reality of the matter is that ultimately if this person genuinely liked you, they would make the effort at some point, or you would make the effort either way it goes. Sometimes it’s not just people you meet, but people who have been in your life for years and years, which is a harder pill to swallow.
As I get older, I do not have time for people who continue to do this. Do not get me wrong, I have friends who are down for the cause whenever. I am a busy man myself so I get the struggle. It is hard to often make time especially when you do not have a lot of it. So you want to spend that time with people who genuinely feel about you as you feel about them. What I think it comes down to is that ultimately some people just don’t like the person I am but they are too cowardly to admit it. They do not want to hurt your feelings. But what is not realized is that it’s actually worse to continue to put up the charade or the façade. Hey I am not everyone’s cup of tea and that is OK. As I get closer to 40 that does not bother me. I have made peace with it. What I do have a problem with is you pretending we are friends, but your actions contradict that.
Honestly speaking I am not the type of guy that talks about the number of women I have slept with, or eat, sleep and breathe sports (even though I do enjoy them) or looking to get laid every time I go out, so for some guys who are in those categories they find my personality different and maybe offensive to them or just see me as a weird person that they don’t even get to know and that’s okay just be upfront about it.
Some of you maybe reading this, and might be thinking “Who is he talking about?” “Is this about me?” The answer simply is if the shoe fits, then put it on. It is not just about one person but a few people. It is also an accountability check for myself. Am I saying this to people, that I have no intention of ever hanging with? Let me know waste people’s time either. Also, this can be applied to family as well as sometimes some of your cousins and other relatives can be in this category. They never have the time for you, even though they say they love you.
Now there would have been a time in my life where if people did not like me or want to make time for me, my feelings would be hurt. At this stage in the game, I am not really bothered about that. What does bother me is you pretending as the famous quote goes, “Aint nobody got time for that!”
So if you are one of those people who continue to not have the time to hang or just do not respond, then keep it 100. No harm no foul.
Life goes on…
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