Pressure Cookin!

Pressure Cooking That Comes With Age

Last week, I celebrated my 35th birthday. I can remember so clearly when my parents were that age and thirty-five seemed so far away for us children. I remember the show Thirtysomething about all the people in their 30s who did nothing but whine about their problems or so I thought. I used to always go, “I do not want to turn 35! I do not want be grown up like these people!” Well that was the 80s; I am fast-forwarding to passion, pain, excitement, thrills, sadness, depression, and love or to summarize LIFE.

I am in that thirty something group now. I have learned a lot and have made some mistakes along the way. I think as you turn 35 a lot of people expect you to have been married for at least five to ten years with two children and be well established in your professional and personal goals. If you are not accomplished in those areas, you are considered weird, a failure, and altogether different. Society has defined so many standards that if you do not measure up to them, you do feel like a failure. As I celebrate my birthday, I happily embrace those failures. For me, this is no easy feat.

Up until recently, I was caught up in feeling sorry for myself because I felt life was not advancing as quickly as I had hoped. I was feeling a lot of pressure to be successful for the haters who told me I would not make it. I felt like I needed validation from everyone and everybody. I remember coming home from an event a few weeks ago really feeling the pressure because I felt like nothing was going right. I was down to my last few dollars, and my job was not doing what I had hoped. I let the enemy get me. I felt like here I am at 35 and what have I accomplished? I began to feel the pressure and the heat. I was feeling as if everything was in vain. I almost thought about giving up my writing. I had a very sleepless night….

But that is not how the story ended, the next morning God shifted me and referred back to the book that I had read before I had relocated to Los Angeles. The book, It’s Your Time by Joel Osteen. I went back to it and went to all the highlighted parts that I had read over the course of the book. It spoke to me. Then one Sunday, Pastor Wayne said that one way God speaks to you is through his word. I believe God was speaking to me through Joel Osteen not at that moment, but that time before I relocated to the west coast. There was some key points that I now get were preparing me for the season I recently encountered. These were points that I knew God was trying to get me to realize. Things that I needed to hear to let me know that I was okay and I was moving right along in the journey that he sent me on. Some of those key points were:

“Whenever life grows difficult and the pressure is turned up, that is a sign that your time is near. When lies bombard your mind, when you are most tempted to get discouraged, and when you feel like throwing in the towel-that is not the time to give up. That is not the time to back down. That is the time to dig in your heels. Put on a new attitude. You are closer than you think.”

That would explain all the pressure that I have been feeling lately the sleepless nights, the financial problems, and the bouts of low self-esteem, now it makes sense to me. There was a lot of pressure on me and now I know why and where it was coming from. God was testing my strength and my resolve to continue on with my dream despite the adversity and fears.

“Yes this is the greatest attack that I have ever been through, but I know it means that I’m headed for the greatest victory that I have ever seen.”

“Don’t believe the ‘never’ lies. God says, “Your time is coming.” Maybe you were counting on the people to give you breaks. You were good to them. You went out of your way to help them succeed. Understand your destiny is not tied to them.”
This is how I know when God speaks to you. That difficult night before, I was telling myself the “never” lies. I was telling myself, “I will never be a successful writer.” “I will never get published.” “I will never be validated.” “I will never get over these strongholds that have been holding me down for so long.” For me to see that the next morning, I knew that it was nothing but God and I knew that my time was soon coming. I also had felt discouraged because I felt like there were a lot of people who were not offering me the support that I thought I deserved. I was angry because some people dismiss my dreams. There are those who I feel just do not care but as Pastor Osteen said my destiny is not tied to them. I do not need those people to be successful. I have to move on from those people. Recently, I found out a friend of mine who has never asked really about the work I am doing was also talking behind my back telling me to quit focusing on my book and to “get a job”. Again, my destiny is not tied to them. I do not need them for my success lies with a higher power. I think to all the friends who never ask me what is going on and how my dream is coming along. I attempt to tell them about it, and they either disregard it or ask, “How is the job going?” At times, that can be hurtful because you get encouragement from motivation and support. What I have learned is that I cannot take it personal those people who are unwilling to encourage is not personal for you. It is personal for them. Either they are guided by that Fool’s Paradise thinking that success is related to money and material gain or jealousy because they were too afraid to step out and pursue their dreams, now they are doing the safe thing. So when you get those “haters”, know they are hating usually for those two reasons.

I took all the highlighted points from Osteen’s book and typed them up and called them, “It’s Your Time – Needed Motivators” Because I need them. Whenever I feel those negative thoughts coming on, or a hardship comes my way, I pull those needed motivators out. It is amazing how our minds can get us to embrace negative energy a lot more than positive energy. I let that night really get me down. I know what God has in store for me. Just because I am 35 and have not accomplished all that some my age have accomplished does not mean anything. There are those who are younger than me or who are doing far worse. It can always be a lot worse. As we get older, we do tend to get more discouraged when we reflect instead of looking at all the things that God has seen us through. I say it all the time the quote from Mary J. Blige, “There are so many things that are used as vessels to get us where we need to be in life.” I truly believe that. So I am very grateful for the highs and lows that I have endured over the last few years, the setbacks and the failures are all part of the story of my life that has yet to be told. So I am still pushing and so should you. Failure is not an option. Mistakes are inevitable. Success is almost guaranteed. So keep on celebrating the person that God created you to be.

Are You Strong Enough To Dream?

Yesterday, I took the biggest step towards fulfilling my destiny and making my dreams a reality. I submitted my first non-fiction book to publishers. Am I nervous, HECKS YEAH. Whenever, you are pursuing a dream of this nature you always have to face the possibility of rejection. This is nothing new to any of us. We all have faced that kind of rejection. The question is do you have what it takes to dream anyway?
This is something that is near and dear to my heart. Over the last two years I have faced a lot of opposition and negative energy from people in regard to choosing to live my dream.
A few years back, I had some friends question why I was doing what I was doing. I was not doing the safe thing: family,wife, kids, stable job, etc. Not that I am knocking that and saying that is not in my future, but it's not for me right now. A lot of people automatically think you are a bit cooky when you decide to risk it all for the sake of your dreams. I am still finding out that their even more people who have spoken negatively about the things that I am doing at this moment. Some so called friends have even said that I should stop writing and "get a job". If they really took the time to invest in what I am doing, they would know that I am employed.
There are a lot of risk involved when you go for a dream. One of the biggest is time. You have to focus on making your dream a reality. Often times, we wait on God to make everything happen, but in reality God also needs us to do our part. I can't expect God to send my book proposal and query letters to publishers. He will make sure it gets to right person but again I have to do my part. It has been very challenging to sometimes sit in front of this computer and work on this book proposal, and query letter but it's what I needed to do to advance to that next step.
In pursuit of my dreams, there has been a lot of dark moments in my life. I left the only home that I had known for 35 years in Kansas City. I am here in the city of Angels where I know things will happen for me. There is a purpose on my life here. I miss my Kansas family but I have a family here in California that have embraced me and make me feel as if I lived here my entire life.
From this moment on, I choose not to focus on the negative people that have discouraged me and talked negatively about me behind my back. I am choosing not to take it personal. What I have realized is that their "concern" or negative energy is just really a deep desire to pursue their dreams but they lack focus, maturity, and courage to take a change. I am choosing not to focus on that negative energy but on those that wish me the best.
So as you are looking at your life, what is that dream or goal that you want to accomplish? Are you strong enough to step out and take a chance? I am. I know I may face rejection, opposition and uncertainty but this is my season. I see a bright future. I have had some sleepless nights, I have had some ups and down as I have embarked on this journey. I have questioned my dreams, questioned this season but these things have to happen in order for me to move forward. I have lost some friendships, but have gained some as well. I lost a job, but gained a passion, and got another job. God always restores what you loose. He will bring you into your purpose. So it will not always be easy but push forward. I am continuing to push and push. I am not worried about the opposition or the rejection. I am careful to say "When the book get's published..!" not "if" the book gets published. You have to name it and claim it.

Dream on..!
CG2

Stay Tuned....The Best Is Yet To Come

PS: Thank you to Paul Richardson for your generous plug on your facebook page. Those words will stay with me. God bless :-)

Future of "Old School" In Danger!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bO9oj0dVsbQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-Tb80rmPt4

Last night I had the privilege of attending the New Edition Reunion Tour at the

Nokia Theater downtown Los Angeles. It was a great show! First off, After 7 opened up for them and did a great job. They did all of their jams including some other classic old school jams such as Bloodstone's "Natural High". They hyped us up for a great night of true music. After that, the deejay for New Edition came out and hyped us up by mixing and playing a lot of different old school jams. Everything from Earth Wind & Fire, Maze, to Naughty By Nature, Slick Rick, and the king of pop himself, Michael Jackson. It was great. Then it was time for the main attraction. New Edition took the stage and did all of their classics. They even supported each other while all of them ventured in their solo works by singing backup for example when Johnny Gill sang "My, My, My", Ralph Tresvant sang "Sensitivity" and Ricky Bell when he sang "When Will I See You Smile Again?" all of the other members were onstage. It truly was a joint effort. It was a great night. Me, my friends and cousin sang along with the songs because it reminded us of our childhood and our growing up as did After 7 and the deejay spinning the wheels with the old school music. We have been singing New Edition music for 29 years.I also think back to Frankie Beverly and Maze concert that I went to last November. The amazing thing about Maze is that they have continued to sell out large arenas like The Nokia and have not released a single new release since 1993's Back To The Basics . This is because their music is timeless. It resonates with us because it takes us back to a time where it was all so simple.


As I was riding home with my cousin we could not help but think about the music of today. What will be "old school" for our kids, our youth of today? What will be there memories? Lil Wayne? Nicki Minaj? Chris Brown? Drake? I was trying to be objective but when you compare their music to the music of Maze or music of Earth, Wind & Fire or Aretha Franklin something is lacking. I think to Hip Hop of our generation. Doug E. Fresh can still get out onstage and command an audience with "The Show". Naughty by Nature can still get everyone to their feet with "Hip Hop Horray". I look at the stuff Lil Wayne does on stage, the pants hanging halfway down his behind, all of the tattoos, the bling in his teeth, and I wonder if that will still be acceptable twenty years from now when he is in his 40s or 50s.
By that time a lot of our youth will be parents, working citizens,and community leaders and they will have matured like we have. As we matured we didn't have to worry about outgrowing our music because our music was already mature. It was music about love, war, togetherness and having a good time. This music of today is hard to make out.

Now I clarify and give props to those who try to continue with the good soul music that we love. Artist such as Jill Scott, Erykah Badu, Robin Thicke, Musiq Soulchild, Ledesi, Mary J Blige, Kem, Chrisette Michelle, Maxwell, Mint Condition, Alicia Keys, and a few others. The problem is other than Blige and Keys, a lot of these artist do not get the media attention or radio airplay as say a Chris Brown, Nicki Minaj or a Rihanna. It seems like the more negative publicity you have or the more arrest warrants you have, the more media attention you get, the more your record is endorsed. Artist who tend to focus on their music get kind of pushed aside. Lately, we hear more about Rhianna and Chris Brown's domestic issues than their music. And while yes artist like Marvin Gaye, Donny Hathaway, Michael Jackson, and Sly Stone had their issues, you did not hear about them till the later of their careers. The majority of their careers focused on their music. Now it has so dramatically shifted. If you don't have drama, if you not cursing on stage, if you not talking about sexing someone up,if you not on stage smoking blunts, your music has no value. My how it has fallen. It is sad. I just do not see an old school hip hop concert with the likes of some of these artist because too much of their music is right now music not timeless music. It is sad state of affairs that Boyz II Men, who was once considered the largest selling guy group of all time can't even get a major record deal because.."nobody want's to hear that sappy mess anymore..", according to record execs, but we can disrespect our women by calling them "Ho's and bitches.." Men can disrespect themselves by calling themselves "Pimps" and wearing our pants halfway down our ankles. Its time out from this madness! It is one thing to have shock value and have the talent to back it up, but if all you are doing is doing things to shock and offend people and you have no talent to back it up, what is left?



Thirty years from now, people will still be shouting, "Whoa, Whoa, you got the best of my love.." by The Emotions, "Billie Jean is not my lover" by Michael Jackson, "Turn of the lights and light a candle" by Teddy Pendergrass, "Loving you is easy cause you're beautiful." by Minnie Riperton. Those are lyrics that will still be relevant. Asking the world "What's going on?" my Marvin Gaye will still probably be a relevant question. We will be reminded by the simpleness of having a good clean quality good time on the dance floor by Rufus & Chaka Khan's "Once You Get Started.." or Midnight's Star's "No Parking On The Dance Floor.." What will these contemporary artist be able to sell from today that in twenty or thirty years that will still be culturally and spiritually relevant.





I challenge some of these acts such as Lil Wayne, Chris Brown, Drake, and Nicki Minaj to step up their games. Don't just rely on shock value and buffoonery to sell records. I attached two links. One is The Emotions singing their classic "Best of My Love.." Most of you reading this blog entry will start singing along because you just know this song. It resonates with you. The other link is Slick Rick, Doug E. Fresh at The BET Awards look how hyped everyone is in the audience. Timeless. Take note artist of today, ignorance is not bliss. The listeners crave easiness, artistry and emotion that we have known for years. We need it, we desire it. We demand it. Take note please.

In the spirit of love,
CG2

Characteristics of a Humble vs. Horrible Boss.

Characteristics of A Humble Boss:


1. Really takes the time to get to know all of the employees before getting to work and giving expectations.
2. States clearly what his/her expectations are and why.
3. Gives time for employees to learn those expectations.
4. Makes each employee feel like they are apart of the team. Values each of his/her team member's opinion.
5. Is in the trenches (work area) and does not hide behind the ivory tower (office). Rolls up sleeves when needed.
6. Addresses issues with maturity and according to company guidelines.
7. Has not forgotten his/her position before he has gotten into this position of authority.
8. Does not spend time gossiping with his/her employees about other employees.
9. Treats everyone fairly.
10. Has an open door policy, where his/her employees can voice a concern without a fear of repercussion.
11. Goes to bat for his or her employees when he feels like there is an unjust or unfair situation.
12. Praises employees for good or excellent service and job performance.
13. Has incentives for goals.
14. Is visible at the job.
15. Does not ask employees to do what he or she would not be willing to do.
16. Addresses issues in a timely fashion and clearly according to company policies not personal opinions.
17. Does not let his or personal life get in the way of his or her supervision.
18. Does not persecute or penalize an employee for their individual beliefs.
19. Is a ethical example particularly in teaching or in a religious position.
20. Gives timely and accurate feedback. Starts coaching or write ups with a positive, addresses negative behavior, then ends with a positive.

Characteristics of a Horrible Boss:

1. Just begins to start working without getting to know employees. Just starts giving orders.
2. No clear defined expectations, but employees are held accountable for them.
3. Does not give employees adequate time to learn his or her expectations.
4. Plays favorites among team members. Only ask certain employees to do special projects or assignments based on personal relationships.
5. Is never seen in the work area, but in the office. The only time you see the boss is when his her boss is around. Then they act as is they are the hardest worker there.
6. Addresses issues with an iron fist and based on personal opinions.
7. Has forgotten his/her previous position and has unrealistic expectations.
8. Gossips with employees about other employees and shares personal information with his or her colleagues.
9. Plays favorites among team members; hold team members to different standards.
10. Considers team members with different opinions as "trouble makers" or "rebels". Holds personal vendetta against employees who go to his or her superiors.
11. Is too weak or afraid to go to his/her superiors on behalf of an employee injustice or complaint. Is a corporate brownoser.
12. Never praises employees or motivates employees for excellent work. Only criticizes negative behavior.
13. Does not reward good performance.
14. Is never seen on the job, but in the office or always at meetings yet holding employees accountable for work they are not seeing.
15. Coaches or write up employees for attendance issues yet he or she takes two-hour long lunches at least twice a week.
16. Addresses employee issues two or three weeks after an incident has happened with no documentation.
17. Is constantly on the phone with friends or family or off of work for personal issues.
18. Only promotes employees who have the same personal beliefs; persecutes employees with different moral views.
19. Has no moral conduct, curses at work, tells dirty jokes.
20. Evaluations/performance appraisals are unclear, not concise and not indicative of expectations as expectations of that position have not clearly been defined. Evaluations are based on personal not professional feelings. Employees leave meetings feeling two feet tall. No positive feedback is given at the beginning or end of a meeting, performance appraisal or coaching for improvement meeting.

If you are leader, which category do you fall under? Give this to your employees anonymously. Place a box by each trait and see which section has the more check marks. You may be surprised.

Horrible Bosses

Most of us that do not have the luxury of working for ourselves, have to answer to someone in a position of power and authority, otherwise known as a "boss" or "supervisor" or "team leader". Basically, it is the person responsible for hiring and firing us, and approving our time off that kind of good stuff. For most of us that have worked for more than five years, we have probably had to deal with a lot of different bosses. You get use to one boss, they move on and you have to deal with another. Some of those bosses, you just love, some you just love to hate. We have all been there, if you do not have a boss you love to hate, you are either lying to yourself or you are truly blessed.

Most of us have had a boss that make us just loathe coming in to work. We rejoice when they call in sick or take a vacation. We dread the alarm clock going off in the morning because we know its only a matter of time before we have to come in contact with BOSS HOG. It seems like there are more horrible bosses out there now than there are good ones, based on the conversations that I have had with several close friends and family members. We are often left scratching our heads and asking the question, "Who did this person sleep with to get this position?" "Why are they my boss?" and other questions such as those. Sound familiar yet?

The simple answer is, it does not matter. It does not matter how your boss got his or her job, the simple matter is they got the job and are now your leader. While we may not like it, that is the hand we were dealt. How do we deal with these leaders. One thing to remember when dealing with a horrible boss is this, Not every person is designed to be in a power of authority or in a leadership role. When some get it, it goes to their head and that power truly magnifies the true nature of a person.

What makes a good leader? A good leader is someone who has been there, meaning they been in the trenches with you. They were once an "hourly" employee or worked your position so they stay true to you. They do not put a bunch of expectations on you that are unrealistic because they know the job you are working so they know what the job entails. They are not gonna through a bunch of high expectations on you. A horrible boss is someone who makes a bunch of demands on you and has forgotten that only a short while ago, they were in the trenches and had to work just as hard, now all of a sudden they have selective amnesia and bark that either you get the job done, or you will be held accountable. A good leader is approachable. They are someone you can go to and voice your opinion without fear of repercussions. If they are doing something wrong, they ask for input. They ask for help. However a horrible boss, is never approachable and basically sits in an "ivory tower" while his worker bees are in the trenches doing the majority of the work. This boss is never around until his or her supervisor is around then and only then do you get praise. When you go to complain, the powers that be have difficulty believing you because the boss has done such a good job of playing smoke and mirrors that they just humor your complaint, report it back to your boss, and now your boss is making your life a living hell. Now you feel as if you can't make a complaint or make waves and you have been labeled as the "troublemaker". A giant bullseye is now being placed on your back.

What do you do? How do you deal with a boss who simply does not get it. The best answer, is to do your job an do it well. Do not let your boss be an excuse for you to be a slacker. You don't want to give any ammunition to your leader to coach you, write you up, or terminate you. Be at work at least 10 minutes before your shift. Document everything that happens at work. If your boss ask to meet with you, document the meeting. Save any emails that are sent to you. Save any emails that you send to your boss. You NEVER know when they will come in handy if you are accused of being difficult.

It is also important to remember to pray for your leader. Often time a person in a position of power is not ready for such a role. Their maturity levels and personalities are truly magnified when they get into that position. Often times, God puts a person in power to show you something. Either A, he is teaching you patience and endurance or B he is using it to move you out of that place. Ask him to reveal to you what is real. You may be surprised. God maybe using that boss as a stepping stone to promote you to that next level or move you into a higher position of power. Maybe he is moving you into that position and humbling you before you get that leadership role so you know what not to do.

If you just got promoted to a position of power, remember, a true leader is a humble leader that is open-minded, fair, and confident.Don't forget where you came from. You won't get anywhere by puffing out your chest, making unrealistic demands, and backbiting. Remember, you were once there and had a horrible boss, why do the same thing? God is testing you to see if you can truly handle the blessing he has given you.

CG2

Yep! There is More!

How many of you follow this life recipe?


1 does of getting up in the morning still tired and agitated.
1 cup of coffee or energy drink
1 mindless/frustrating drive to work in rush hour traffic.
1 hour of sitting at your desk twiddling your thumbs before actually working.
3 hours of meetings and reports.
4 hours of data entry
1 hour of complaining in the break room/lounge/water cooler.
1/2 or 1 hour of mindless frustrating drive in rush hour traffic.
2 hours of crashing in front of your couch in front of the TV.
1 hour of eating a meal
1 hour of complaining to your spouse, friend, or roommate about your job.
8/9 hours of sleep.

Repeat the process next day.

How many of us follow this recipe? We go to work only to come home to gripe and moan about work and then repeat the same process. We go home and just crash in front of our couches. We sleep, we eat, we just crash and burn. Then we get up and repeat the same process. We wonder why we are sick, stressed and unhealthy. Is that all their is for ourselves? No of course not! We are so much more than our jobs, our finances and our stresses. There is a whole bunch of other stuff out their and that is called A LIFE.

Let me stress that I know of what I speak. I used to come home, flop down on the couch, maybe get enough energy to cook a meal, than go back to watching television, then drift off to sleep, only to repeat the same thing the next day. I did that for a number of years working at the bank and in the school system. I allowed my job to become my identity. So many of us do. We REFUSE to go out during the week, because it conflicts with our 12 hours of sleep we think we need so much. We refuse to do anything that conflicts with our daily routines. What is the deal?

It seems like so many of us are getting into this rut. So many people are hypertensive, prone to stress and taking our frustrations out on others. It is so not worth it. There are things to do. I am not suggesting spend a lot of money and go out get crazy during the week but there are things you can do to avoid following that dreaded recipe.

Gilrath's Go Get A Life Plan:

1.Call a friend or loved one and only talk about one or two positive things that happened at work. If you can't find anything, than talk about something else positive. Keep the conversation from focusing on your job as much.

2.Eat out with a friend or significant other. While we all understand that you have to be get up early to be at work. However, does this mean you got to go to bed before the sun comes up? Go to a happy hour and have a nice glass of wine, if you don't drink alcohol, then have a nice cup of Joe, eat an appetizer and enjoy the ambiance around you. Don't use it though as a gripe session to complain about your boss, your job, duties, etc. Focus on the positive areas of your life. It is OK to vent a little while about things that bother you, but if you can't focus on any positive areas, you might want to reevaluate your job and your life.

3.Go for a nice walk or run after work. Before you even get home, change your work clothes at work and go to the park nearby and run or walk with some headphones. That is good way to unwind right away. You are running all that negative or stress out of you and will have more energy when you get home. Do this at least two times a week. (if weather is not nice, go to an indoor gym or track.

4. Read a good book. Literature is good way to escape your real life. Read outside (if weather is right).

5. Go to weekly bible study. That is a good motivator and encourager.

Remember, life is too short and we are reminded of that everyday. Let us not continue to get comfortable and focus so much on our business minds, we are neglecting our physical, mental, and spiritual needs. All of those are vital to function. I know it is hard, but PUSH yourself. Don't just settle for complacency and fatigue. You are worth so much more.

CG2

Its Written All Over Your "Face"

When I first got Facebook, I was very excited about what it represented. To me it represented and in a lot of ways still represents open communication. It was a way for me to communicate with my friends and family without having to spend a lot of time on the phone. It allowed me time to check in with friends and family on their endeavors and their trials and tribulations as well as their triumphs. It was a way for me to laugh at funny posts, comment on world events, and popular culture and so many other things.

That was well over five years ago. Now let's fast forward to the present time. I click on my homepage and my news feed and am very disheartened by what I see and read. I am subjected to all types of inappropriate and immature conduct. I have had to unsubscribe from a lot of people's pages because I do not want to be subjected to the nonsense that I am seeing. Pretty soon, unfortunately will will have to "unfriend" some people because the unsubscribing is not doing the trick. Now I understand that people have the right to post what they want on their pages but, also people have to right not to be subjected to it. When people say things like "If you don't like what I have to say, then stay the F&&CK off my page!" Okay, that is not a problem but also remember, you are putting yourself out there for comments and feedback. You are putting your information out there in a public forum. Your words, actions, and pictures are fare game.

I know I am not the only one who feels this way as I posted my frustration on the site yesterday and got a lot of "likes" so I know that others are feeling the same way I do. How can we expect our youth to do act appropriately carry themselves with maturity when a lot of adults and parents are doing the same thing. It is time out for the madness.Now if you want to know what I am talking about, I will give you a few examples:

1. Calling someone out on Facebook: Just because it says "face" book does not mean you are talking to someone face to face. I have seen people call others out with a beef they have with that person. Example: "If this bitch, (name here) says one more thing to me I swear.." Ok. my problem with this is, how mature is this person right now? Why put your business out here like this? Are you serious? Are you not man/woman enough to talk to this person face to face? IT seems like to me, you are hiding behind your page. Whatever happened to direct confrontation? I am not advocating fighting but what happened to if your brother or sister wronged you, then address it with them one on one. What is the point of this? A lot of kids are doing this, but I see a lot of adults doing this as well.

2. All the cursing: I get that you have freedom of speech. You have the right to say what you want. However just because you have the right to say something, does not mean you always should. It takes more maturity and responsibility to use the freedom that you have been given wisely and with wisdom. The amount of profanity is ridiculous that I see on people's pages.

3. Nasty pictures: I see a lot of pictures of naked women, body parts, body fluids, and just pictures that are just ridiculous. While some I understand are viruses are spam that our beyond our control, some are just people trying to be funny and its hugely inappropriate. Is it necessary? And the sad part is, some of the people posting these pictures are not teenagers, they are adults who are my age or older. What are you doing? How old are you acting right now?

4. Drama/Drama/Drama/Raining On Parade: These are the ones that every Facebook post is negative, somber and a buzz kill. Its the one where the person is always posting the worst case scenario or trying their hardest to make everyone feel sorry for them. Is your life that bad? Is their nothing in your life that brings you joy? Seek help immediately.

5. Misspeleng of wurds: Yes that was done on purpose. I read several post that leave me scratching my head and going "huh?" Some of it is not slang. Some of it is just bad writing. Please if you want to get your point across, we should be able to read it. If you are going to tell someone off via social media, they should at least be able to decipher that you are talking about them and not be laughing at you instead.

6. Pictures of drugs: If you choose to smoke weed, that is your business, but is it necessary to post pictures of the "cush" you have smoked? Do we really need to see you getting high?

Please understand that it is not my intend to offend. I am only speaking what was laid on my heart. It is time out of this nonsense. I still enjoy Facebook as a way to post good news, communicate with friends and family and share important events, offer support and sympathy to those struggling in their trials and tribulations (death of a loved one, illness, etc) but I don't want to communicate and be involved in drama or ignorance. Your words and your pictures are a direct reflection of you. If you are someone that is always posting nasty post or posting angry or depressing rants that that is how you will be viewed. Also keep in mind right or wrong, a lot of jobs look on your pages and use that as a determining factor to hire you. Who wants to hire someone that uses social media to hurt others, talk vulgar, or be nasty. Employers may think that this is how you will be in the workplace. How is your social media any different then your outward social and professional life?

Parents, please be vigilant in checking your children's pages. It is amazing the amount of vulgarity, nasty pictures and cyber bullying that goes on on social media pages. If your child is under 18, you have every right to check their pages and see what they are posting on others pages, and what is being posted on theirs. It is a good way to filter out some bad influences and help your child if he or she is being a bad influence.

Again, do not be offended but then again if you are offended then obviously there is something to that. We can do so much better. We are worth so much more than what we are doing. Let's grow and keep moving forward.

In the spirit of love,
CG2 - The Rath of Gil