Vain Existence

"Is my living in vain…?”

Do you ever wonder that? Do you ever think that whatever it is that you are doing is all for nothing or just a complete waste of time? Do you feel bogged down by the negative energy that is around you or the discouragement you feel others project towards you? The Longman English dictionary defines “vain” as “without success despite your efforts.” I know a lot of us feel that we put in a lot of work and there is no reward, no thanks, and no support.
When I think about things being done in vain I think of the occupation of teaching. Teachers do a lot of work in the school building but do a lot of work outside of the school day. We stay after sc after school to tutor and sponsor clubs, and on the weekends we are working where a lot of other people can deprogram and leave their 9-5 jobs at work. As an educator, we find it hard to balance our time. Most educators have wives, husbands, children, friends, family and other obligations that they have to deal with yet they are at home grading papers, creating lesson plans, reevaluating strategies, and so on. Yet a lot of the times, the job is thankless. We have children who are apathetic, lazy, and unwilling to meet us halfway in our quest to get them to learn. What do we get sometimes for our efforts? We get cursed out, yelled at, and get all types of lazy attitudes. We often wonder is it worth it? Is all the work that we are doing outside of the school day worth it? We then deal with administrators, school officials, “support” staff who demand a lot of our time requiring extra meetings, set unrealistic goals and demand we show proof of extensive lesson plans. Parents blame us for their children failing and sometimes the administrators as well. We wonder is it worth it? Why are we doing this? There is no success or so it seems. Then we get an email from a student that just recently graduated that says, “Because of you, I am successful in college.” Or “I was going to drop out, but because you cared about me. I am sticking with it.” Amazingly enough that makes it worth it. We then know our efforts were not in vain. Yet sometimes, life and other people make us question that.
Sometimes, being nice to people can be in vain. I cannot tell you the countless people that I encounter on a day-to-day basis that is unquestionably unfriendly or mean. I consider myself a very nice and positive person and I work hard to give over that image to everyone I come in contact with, but sometimes those efforts are futile. You speak to people, yet they do not speak back. You offer an encouraging word to check in with people in your life, yet you get no response. They are “too busy”. Sometimes we try to make conversations with people only to be brushed off or dismissed. You have to really know who you are to be able to maintain your persona. Sometimes, it truly does feel like nice guys do finish last. The world is so stuck on being mean and rude that if you are not careful, you will find yourself confirming to those ways.
As I think of efforts being in vain, I think about my writing career. At times, I feel as if nobody is really taking an interest in what I am doing. I feel like no matter how hard I try, I cannot get certain people to get behind me and support what I am doing and that frustrates me at times. As of the last couple of days, I felt like just giving it up and just being complacent with my 9-5 job, but something inside me keeps going and continues to get motivated to stay the course. I have to step up my game in terms of keeping this dream alive. Then when it seems like I am at my lowest in terms of throwing in the towel, someone sends me a message and tells me they were inspired by what I had just written, then I feel pumped and motivated to continue because if my writing can inspire, entertain or at times even offend people, I know that I am still walking in my purpose. I know eventually the right publisher will find me; the write people will come into my life to get me to that next level. I am human, I will get discouraged and unmotivated. There are days that I am angry at the world because I feel like the work I do is not appreciated. There are days we all feel that way if we are honest with ourselves. We get mad at the people who we feel should be supporting us and encouraging us and yet they are not. As Joel Osteen has said and I quote many times, “Understand your destiny is not tied to them. You do not need them to succeed.”
I am very grateful for the people in my life who continue to support, encourage, and also check in with me. Know that your support goes a long way. As you are continuing your dreams and working on your goals, cling to those who are giving you support. Whenever someone sends you a positive encouraging email or message, save it and print it out. I have done that. Whenever, I feel discouraged or empty, I pull those messages out and look to those to keep my juices going. Most importantly, I look to God for strength. As you feel unmotivated and feel like giving up find a scripture or inspirational quote to keep you juiced up. I found this one today and it was very helpful.
‘Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, unmovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, for as much as you know that your labor is not in vain in the Lord.” 1 Corinthians 15:58