Line from the movie Fatal Attraction.
Anyone that has seen that movie, knows the line. While yes, Alex Forest played by Glen Close may have been crazy certifiable squirrel bait, she did have a very good point with this statement. As I am getting older, I guess I am losing my patience with a lot of child like games and things from people who claim that they are down for you. Life is too short to deal with drama and games from people. While it is inevitable to have people cause strife in your life, some of it is so unnecessary. It is time to break down the different type of things that should no longer be accepted from friends or loved ones.
It is extremely irritating to have someone say, "Let's hang out." or "Hey bro, give me a call." Yet when you do, they do not answer the phone, respond to a text or talk behind your back. What was your purpose of telling the person that? If you do not like somebody or enjoy their company, then why would you waste their time or go through the motions of making such statements? The person you are saying this to actually thinks you like hanging out with them. Often times, people are not as fragile as we would like to think. You think that maybe you are protecting their feelings by not telling them the truth, but you are actually hurting them more in the process. If you do not enjoy somebody's company then you should let them know. You do not have to be a douchebag about it, but you can say, "Hey, we just don't have anything in common, I'd rather not hang out with you." As hurtful as it may be at first, it is more hurtful to find out from another person or third party that you feel this way. Nothing sucks more than to think you have a good friend, and then find out that you value the friendship more than they do. For me, it is not about lip service, if you don't like a person, let them know. They will get over it. You are actually freeing them and you from wasting time. They will stop texting you or making effort to do things with you. Odds are they have other people that they call on that actually do enjoy their company.
If somebody makes you mad, why not tell them? Giving someone the silent treatment or giving them the cold shoulder accomplishes what? There are far too many grown people doing this type of crap. In the long run, what do you hope to gain by doing this? How hard is it to speak on an issue you have with your brother or sister, especially if you claim to be close? If someone has wronged you, you need to speak up. Often times, the person you are mad at does not even know what they have done. They are left scratching their heads wondering, "What did I do?", or they ask you, "Are we good?", "We ok?" You tell them yes, but in your head you are cursing them out or making a conscious choice to make them work hard to figure out what he or or she has done to you. That is doing too much. Matthew 18:15-17 states,
15"If your brother sins against you,[b] go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. 16But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.'[c] 17If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.
So as Christians we are supposed to address our brother/sister if he or she has wronged us. We need to speak on it and move on. Yet so many of us don't. We find it easier to talk behind their backs, stop calling them, and wishing them malice. Where is the "Christ" in that?
It is time out for high school like games. Most of you reading this are adults, it is time out for being fake. Speak about it and be about it. If you don't like me, tell me. If I have wronged you tell me. Let's talk about it in love. As Fantasia would say, "If you don't want me then don't talk to me. Go ahead and free yourself." But since some of this is about friendships, I am going to say "like" in lieu of "want". :-)
In the spirit of love,
CG2
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