"Shh...Don't Make Trouble! Let It Go!"

Whoopi Goldberg
Roseanne
David Letterman



What do these people have in common? They say what is on their minds and make no

apologies for that. They have their opinions and their beliefs and are strong enough to sick by them despite the potential consequences and public fallout. They sometimes get revered and jeered for it, but they still make no apologies. How many of us can say the same thing?
Do you ever feel as if you have to apologize for the things you say? Lets say for instance you disagree with somebody's position a particular issue. You speak up and you are considered trouble. I cannot tell you how many times I have worked for a company that has a "vision" and expects everyone to be robotic and do the same thing and agree and say "Yes". Yet, when the two or three that do speak up have questions or disagree, they are politely quieted or silenced and then considered trouble by the powers that be. From that moment on, certain co-workers and friends are afraid to be seen with you because you just truly spoke your opinion and had questions. You may not have necessarily disagreed but you just had a question, still you are considered "trouble" and a "rebel".
This does not just apply to our professional lives but in our private lives as well. Often times we have family members who cause us strife and we have those who take advantage of others or disrespect others on a daily basis. Yet when we want to call the behavior out, we are again politely silenced or told to "not make waves" because people around you don't want the confrontation. You talk about the situation that the person is causing and you are considered "negative" you are supposed to accept the situation as it is. Suddenly, you are questioning your thoughts, actions, and belief systems because people around you are uncomfortable with your opinions because they challenge a "system" or a behavior that has been allowed for so many years.
The question is, Why should you feel like that? Especially when the ones around you feel the same way but unlike you, they are too afraid to speak up and speak out and cannot understand why you feel like you have to. Often times we are told "It won't do any good.", "That's how it has always been.", "You just have to let them be." "You will just cause trouble." "Do it to keep the peace." How is calling anyone out on their crap causing trouble? If it is someone who you are close to or love, it should be out of love that you try to help them out. If you feel like something at work could be better, and you are a vital part of that organization, why can't you speak up?
They say that once you get older and over thirty and especially if you over forty, you begin to really stop caring what others think and begin to really speak out on what is is irking you and what is irritating you. I guess that is true because for me, I have had enough! I am not longer for giving people passes to continue to act in a way that is detrimental to themselves and to others.
Inevitably, those reading will be wondering, "Who is he talking about?", "Who rattled his cage?" Well to satisfy that question, I am not talking about any ONE person in particular or any ONE situation. This has just been something on my mind for a long time. So many people are given passes for bad behavior because we are told that the Christ like thing is to have a bleeding heart and have compassion. While yes we are to have compassion, and we are to empathize, it is time out for continuing to allow the behavior to hinder our professional, personal, and spiritual development. It is time for a lot of people to grow up! Make no apologies for being irritated with this mess that is going on right now. It's time to start speaking out. Holding it in will only make it worse. Now as always, its good to use discretion. Don't become the person you are talking about. Don't start raining on others parades and being a Negative Nelly to someone who is trying to do good things and you just don't agree. That is not what this about. There is a difference.
In the spirit of love...
CG

For The Love of Money

For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs. 1 Timothy 6:10

If you really listen to the O'Jays song "For The Love of Money" you will see that song is extremely relevant in today's society. Look no further than the latest in the Whitney Houston saga. In light of the recent news about someone in Whitney Houston's camp

or at the funeral home (it had to be either one of them) selling her casket photo to the tabloids, I think this world has really begun to spin out of control and the cause of it is the love of money. Obviously, somebody in that camp saw a GOLDEN MOMENT to cash in and get that payday. I think of poor Cissy Houston or Bobbi Kristina going to the supermarket and having to see that on the front page or Bobbi trying to google her mother and having to be forever be reminded of her mother's death. The National Enquirer should be ashamed of themselves and furthermore the person who coveted money that bad that they betrayed their loved one like this, you reap what you sow, and at what point do you feel that God is going to bless that money and cause it to multiply or bless someone else. That money was produced on bad soil, there is no way any good can come of that.

Whitney's death photo is just the latest in a slew of things in our society that show how money and greed are dominating the world. Look at all the countless mind-numbing reality shows that are on television today. Our networks have taken good shows off that have substance to all these train wrecks on television now. And millions of Americans choose to support these "reality" shows, therefore the networks cash in. It is a shame.

You have people lying, cheating and scheming to get money now. Lawsuits are at an all time high and people are at an all-time low. You have all these pontzi schemes and pyramid schemes ran by people who claim that they are now rich and have yachts and cars by selling a cleaner or a juice or something. The scheme appeals to people whose wells have run dry financially are desperate to stay afloat so they will buy into these schemes and then ultimately believe that they will become rich like these people. Not realizing that the spokesperson is actually the ones making a profit and taking these poor unsuspecting hardworking folks to the cleaners.
You even see this in the churches now unfortunately. It embarrasses me as a Christian believer to see some of these late night shows where you have pastors selling God's blessings. Look at the video, I have posted of some of these fools. My God is free and salvation is free. It does not cost any money. It just amazes me how these wolves prey on the weak-minded and desperate. Again, good fruit does get plucked from bad soil, so if you harvesting bad soil your fruit is going to be rotten.
We have young women selling books about how they slept with this rapper or that actor and they are called "smart", "a Genius", "a pioneer". Really? No Rosa Parks was "a pioneer", Oprah is "smart". Condoleeza Rice is a "Genius". Not some video groupie. Basically this woman glorified how she was able to prostitute herself and cleaned up by selling her book. This is a "Genius"? Wow, how are priorities and morals have changed. Gambling addiction is at all time high because of the love of money. Before I continue I want to clarify that I go to the casino and I am not knocking the casino, but is it really worth going if you are putting your rent money, kids food money, or borrowed money in the slot machine? Again bad soil produces bad fruit.

It is sad our society focuses so much on money in lieu of the contents of our characters. Kids are no encouraged to dream if that dream won't make them a lot of money. Adults are in lifeless mind-numbing jobs because its "good money". I am not saying money is not important and who does not want to be financially secure and comfortable? But when we start sacrificing every and anything to get including our bodies, self-respect, and love of others we are asking for trouble.

So ask yourself this my friends, Is the money worth it? How many celebs have died, committed suicide, and spiraled yet they are financially wealthy? Money did not solve all their problems. Money is not everything.

"I'm Just Too Busy!"

How many times have you heard that from a friend or a loved one? "I am just too busy. Sorry I have not reached out in a while?" How many of you have said it to a friend or a loved one. I have said it. We are guilty of being too busy and blowing people off for own personal reasons but it is mainly "I am too busy.". The question is, at what point does this become an excuse? How long before we are saying this all the time to people? How much do you value your friends and family if you are constantly "too busy" to make time for them?

For me, friendships are important relationships that keep us functioning in life. I don't know what I would do without my best friend and my cousins who I have close relationships with. Anyone saying that they don't need friends or need people in their lives are just lying to themselves.

I think it is very important to make time for your friends and those in your inner circle. Sometimes non-verbal communication is the biggest communication of all. When you choose to ignore a text, or not return a phone call, or not reach out in communication with others, think of the message you are sending. Yes, I understand we all get busy. I have been guilty of doing the same thing but these are supposed to be key people in your life, and you do not have time for them? I think of my cousin Myra who has to be the busiest person on the planet. Probably only the President is busier. With all the things that she is involved in, I have always noticed that she makes time for all her close friends and family members including myself. She may not always be able to respond back right away, but she will get back to you. That has taught me two things: #1. I need to be a better friend and relative to those who need me and be more accessible. #2. There are really no excuses from those who claim to be your close friends and family for the constant brush off.

When people say they are always busy, I question it sometimes because I know some are making time for who they want to make time for, so maybe it is a reality check. My best friend is never too busy for me. We talk almost every day in some form or another. Am I saying that this should be the norm? No of course not. It is not realistic to expect to be available at every moment of the day, but when you are not accessible 80% of the time, what is that saying? What value do you truly hold on a friendship in which you are never the one initiating the conversations or reaching out? If that person calls and you never respond and then respond back a week later and say "Sorry, I have been truly busy." That shows you the value that person holds on your friendship. Little to none at all.

In thinking about all that is happening these days where people are struggling with personal demons and personal strife a phone call and a word of encouragement can go along way. A person who has value in your life, should always be allotted time. It means so much.

Whitney IS (not was) An Icon

As I keep reading the news and information on Whitney Houston, I am still

disturbed that the media and some bloggers and people commenting on these websites calling her a crack addict and saying "who cares" and that we should not focus on her anymore as she was a celebrity and who cares. There are other everyday people who deserve the spotlight. A lot of rude comments out there.

Who cares? We care. Whitney is not was an icon. She had her demons as well did but that does not mean we cannot celebrate her. She was a black woman who transcended color lines. She was ours. We loved her when she was up as well as down. We knew that she would always make a comeback. Her Homegoing was her comeback. She received her greatest reward, she is resting in the arms of both her fathers Jesus and her birth father John Houston. She may have had some personal battles, but don't we all? Her battle just happened to be addiction. But let us be clear, we do not know what her cause of death was and I choose not to speculate on what that was, as we may be totally off base. If she did die of drugs, maybe that will be a lesson to those others who are still struggling with substance abuse to get their acts together.
Let us also remember that Whitney did have a career comeback in 2009 with her album I Look To You. And while it was not as big as her earlier albums, it did go platinum. I think it is unfortunate to call her last effort a failure. It was hardly a failure, it was her testimony and her story. The album sold over a million copies which in today's industry of digital music, downloads, and singles how is this a failure? People are just buying or downloading singles in lieu of buying complete albums. So to call it a failure is in accurate.
Yes, her first three albums were triple platinum. The Bodyguard Soundtrack was ridiculous (in a good way) in regards to sales. So when you have that type of success, it almost impossible to repeat that success with your later works. Platinum is platinum. Unfortunately, her last album will probably go on to sell two million more now because of her death. They also did the same to Michael after Thriller which became the biggest selling album of all time. How do you repeat that success? Michael's album Bad sold 10 million copies but was considered unsuccessful by some because it did not sell 40million like Thriller. Keep in mind that 10 million would be a record in itself for any other recording artist.

I can't help but wonder what this did to Whitney back in 2009? Calling what I believe to be her most personal album,, her first effort in over six years a "failure". Her voice began to crack and audiences booed her. People said "Her voice is gone!" How did that affect her? Did this aid in her relapse? We will never know for sure. I am not at all excusing her drugs and behavior but the rejection she faced over the those two years for her comeback could not have been easy.

And lastly, lets stop blaming Bobby Brown and leave him alone. Let this man grieve. While he may not have been the model for good husbands, he still loved Whitney. He loves his daughter and deserves this time of privacy. Crucifying him in the media is only going to hurt his daughter, who now only has a father. Also, Bobby is fragile and a recovering addict as well. I pray his family and friends keep him close and that God covers him so that he does not relapse and go backwards in his progress.

Whitney was not a reality star (I am erasing from memory that Being Bobby Brown fiasco) she was TRUE TALENT unlike some of the losers we have now who are famous for absolutely nothing. Whitney had the total package, the likes of which we will never see again.
Let us remember that Whitney is an icon not was an icon. Her music is still with us. That will live on with us. Let's focus on that and not her death, her estate, her demons, and the "Where did Bobby Brown sit at the funeral/Why did he leave?" fiasco.
Whitney, you now have that peace that none of us have right now now. You got your heavenly reward for all your years of struggle. RIP Whitney, your music will always be here with us. Let us remember that we are all human and that this could easily be any of us. RIP Whitney and God bless!

The End of An Era: Musical Innocence Lost

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bMVqvBmTZro&feature=fvsr

The End of An Era: Musical Innocence Lost
By Chris L. Gilrath II

When I found out about the death of Soul Train creator Don Cornelius last week, I put off writing about his death mainly due to shock and not really knowing what to say just yet. Now just a week later, comes the tragic news of Whitney Houston’s untimely yet possibly unsurprising death. As I think of both of these pioneers, I can’t help but think of the first time I saw Whitney Houston on Soul Train in the spring of 1985. I remember asking my dad, “Who is this woman?” Little did I know that she would go on to win over 400 awards, six Grammy awards, Emmy’s and become the biggest selling female artist of the century. Little did I know then the global impact that she would have on so many over the years. Little did I know that today, I would be writing about her untimely demise.

I think about the impact that both these pioneers had on my childhood. You could not say Saturday morning without saying Soul Train. I remember being mad on Saturdays when Soul Train did come on. It was a crucial part of our history and as we celebrate Black History month, I cannot help but think of the contributions that Don Cornelius made to it. He started Soul Train with $400. The show was his. He allowed artist like Whitney Houston to shine and flourish when other shows were not exactly welcoming us on. Name one wedding reception, family reunion, Christmas party, or 4th of July picnic where we did not do the Soul Train line. How many of us got our dances from Soul Train? It transcends generations. Rarely was there a show that we could talk to our parents about. It was something we had in common. Our parents grew up to it as teenagers and so did we. You cannot say that about shows around today. Other than soap operas (which are also becoming obscure) what other shows withstood the test of time like Soul Train?

As I look at the video I posted of Whitney Houston back in 1985 on Soul Train, I think about the simple ease of my childhood. I think about all the people that were still with us both in my family and in the entertainment industry. I think of how happy Whitney looked here and how her life was then compared to how her life was now. Did she know what she was going to have to endure? I feel innocence in watching this video both for myself and for Whitney. I cannot help but wonder what happened to this Whitney Houston over the last decade. What caused her to spiral? I do not pretend to know the pain that a lot of people deal with in this industry, but it has to be great. As I focus on Whitney, I think of this appearance back in 85. I choose to remember this legend for her hits such as "You Give Good Love" to "Exhale (Shoop, Shoop)". I choose to focus on Don Cornelius’s impact on Whitney Houston and her ex-husband Bobby Brown and his group New Edition, Chaka, Aretha and many more. I think of the global impact that Whitney and Don had not just on African-Americans but all people across the globe.

Name female singers of today such as Christina Aguilera, Brittany Spears, Taylor Swift, and others and ask them who their influence was and they would say “Whitney”. No last name would even need to be mentioned. Her music transcended color lines. She was a pioneer. Her music brought people together. And while she may not have been a revolutionary, writing about change or world issues which she rarely talked about, she sang about love, happiness, and the ups and downs of everyday life, which is something we all could relate to. These two deaths have rocked the industry to its core.

So many of our creative legends such as Marvin Gaye, Donny Hathaway,Amy Winehouse and Michael Jackson to name a few had personal demons. It is sad that we focus on how they died as opposed to what they gave us. Unfortunately, Whitney and Mr. Cornelius have been added to that list. These legends opened doors. As we celebrate this historic month lets remember what they have given us. Their personal lives are another story and we know the mainstream media is going to focus on that but as we think of these artists lets remember that they paved the way. The paid a lot of dues so that artists of today would not have to. The music industry will never be the same. God bless the Cornelius and Houston families.

My Favorite Whitney Songs:

1. You Give Good Love
2. Saving All My Love For You
3. Greatest Love of All
4. Exhale (Shoop, Shoop)
5. It's Not Right But It's Ok

2011: A Year of Growth and Growing Pains

2011: A Year of Growth & Growing Pains
by Chris L. Gilrath II

As another year comes to a close, I think of all the clichés that are thrown out there such as New Year resolutions and promises. As this year comes to close I think it is important to reflect on your year and what it brought you and how you are going to use it to grow further the next year. As Mary J. Blige said, “There are so many things that are used as vessels to get us where we need to be in life.” And that is a quote that really sticks with me. So many things have happened this year good and bad that have me where I am right now going into 2012. What a journey it has been. I have grown a lot this year, but with growth there are what we call “Growing Pains” and no I am no talking about that show with Robin Thicke’s daddy on it, I am talking about the struggles and drama that come with growing and coming into your own sense of who you are.

There were a lot of things that came into my orbit in 2011, where do I even begin? I will start with the growth I have experienced as a writer. I began to understand that God has really brought me into harboring and nurturing this gift to share with the word. I am very excited at that prospect. However, it has not been so sunny. Whenever you try something new and make it your focus, you have people who oppose what you are doing. One of the struggles is still that gravitational pull towards teaching in the traditional sense or the safe occupation. It has been very frustrating that some will not or choose not to acknowledge my gift and that that this is what I choose to make my focus. I am qualified and I have the God-given talent, however some of my friends and family seem reluctant to separate me from my past teaching job, and right now my profession, as a teacher is non-existent. I do not have the same passion for a traditional teaching job that I once did and feel like I can grow more and do more by doing more outside of that area, so I will keep working at it till it works out.

This year was definitely a breakout year for me. I decided to venture out and make my dreams happen by relocating to California. I keep reflecting on the journey and still in shock that I now call Los Angeles my home after many years of wanting to dream to happen, God finally allowed it happen by allowing me to go through the last couple of years that I have gone through. I am now out there pursuing my dreams in and interests. My family and friends out there have been so supportive and helping me get to that level, they have opened so many doors. I am so grateful for the crew in California who have embraced me and held me up. You have made the transition so much easier. I am thankful for those who support me and cheer me on from the Midwest. It has been hard; I had to do it for me. I appreciate you for supporting me. Not everyone has been supportive and I have lost some friends who do not understand that I no longer choose to do what is safe and I stepped out of my comfort zone. I know understand that in order to grow and change I had to leave some relationships in the past. I have also realized that some of the dynamics of some the friendships I thought were solid have also changed. That has been a hard pill to swallow, but I have swallowed it.

I lost my dear Aunt Benita this year and that was definitely a setback. I thought

about did she know how I felt about her? We often take so many people in our lives for granted and we do not realize the impact that that person had on our lives until it is too late. I just had no idea that she was that ill, but I guess I knew in the back of my head. I remember feeling guilty at first for leaving on my journey while she was struggling but I reflect back on our last conversation before I left out on my journey and how much of a support she was and her well wishes, so that gives me peace. I definitely miss her but rejoice on the impact that she made on so many people and the lives she touched, and the battles she fought. She will truly be missed, but we will see each other again. I honor her life, by living mine to the fullest and best of my ability. I have to not complain, as she did not. I encourage others even when I do not feel at my best as she did. Life will go on, and that is how she would want it.

As mentioned earlier, some of the dynamics of my friendships changed. With growth, that happens. Some are not ready for your growth or your change. I have seen some friends who have been afraid to step out of faith and live out of their comfort zones, be upset with me because I chose to do it. It seems as if some people want to keep you in a box. So many people define you by your occupation, relationship status, manhood, and financial success. I do not like being put in a box or being defined by one category. It is extremely frustrating. Some friends stop calling you or act is they are too busy. Some relatives make nasty negative comments because you are making the most of your life, and they are not. If you are to grow, this has to happen. As hard as it has been, I keep going. I find as if sometimes I have to apologize for not doing the traditional things that others do, or I catch myself explaining myself to others but as Minister Cynthia Saddler said to me, “You should not have to waste time explaining your actions and dreams to others.” That has really stuck with me this year yet sometimes I forget that.

As 2011 leaves us and we embark on 2012, I plan on it being the year where people

know that I am not playing around. I am going for mine. I am living my dreams and have made successes. I have already got my website launched and preparing to take that to the next level. As 2012 enters into your life, what do you plan to do with it? Do you plan on having another year like the last one where you just go through the motions and live every day like the last? Are you going to step out on faith and take a chance? Maybe there are relationships you need to strengthen. Maybe you need to go out and find that dream job. Perhaps there are people who you let to continue to frustrate you and it harbors in your heart. Maybe there is some forgiveness that you need to do both of yourself and for others. It is time to put the past to sleep and wake up in your present and get yours. As you grow, there will be growing pains. You will be encouraged, but also be opposed. You will have support but also have haters. Remember 2011 was a vessel to get you to where you to need to be in 2012. What you do on that vessel is completely up to you.

The Best Christmas Songs

It is the time of the year where we celebrate the birth of our savior Jesus Christs, and cherish our families, friends, and significant others. We go down the Soul Train line at the holiday parties, dance, karaoke, and eat till our hearts content, then we open presents and bask in the day. BUT no party, dinner, or tree trimming is complete without GOOD, GOOD Christmas Music. What makes your list? What are those Csongs that just give you so much joy, that you light up whenever you hear them. When you hear the songs you think CHRISTMAS. Here is my list. See if you agree:

1. This Christmas - Donny Hathaway
The ULTIMATE Christmas Jam! It is simply not Christmas until this song comes on! Many have tried to duplicate and remake it [props to The Whispers and Chris Brown] but NOTHING is like the original! Before CD's I used to have to wait until Thanksgiving, and I remember when Thanksgiving came I would be so excited, not because of the turkey, but because I know KPRS would play This Christmas by Donny and you knew the season was here! So MANY memories attached to this song. OK getting a little emotional...! A little vklempt talk amongst yourselves..."

2. Soul Holiday - Sounds of Blackness
3. The Christmas Song - Nat King Cole/This Whispers
4. White Christmas - The Drifters
5. What Do The Lonely Do At Christmas - The Emotions
6. Please Come Home For Christmas - Charles Brown
7. Merry Christmas Baby - Charles Brown/Otis Redding
8. At Christmastime - Luther Vandross
9. Sleigh Ride - TLC
10. Give Love On Christmas Day - Jackson Five/Johnny Gill
11. This Christmas - The Whispers
12. Happy Holidays - The Whispers
13. All I Want For Christmas Is You - Mariah Carey
14. When You've Got Love (It's Christmas All Year Long) - The Stylistics
15. Let It Snow - Boyz II Men & Brian McKnight
16. Silent Night - The Temptations
17. Rudolph The Red Nose Reindeer - The Temptations
18. Hallelujah (A Soulful Celebration) - Various Artists
19. Christmas In The City - Mary J. Blige
20. Santa Claus Going Straight To The Ghetto - James Brown
21. My Christmas Gift - Alexander O'Neal
22. I Can Hardly Wait For Christmas - The O'Jays
23. Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas - The O'Jays
24. Jesus Is The Reason For The Season - Kirk Franklin & The Family
25. Baby It's Cold Outside - Ray Charles & Betty Carter

It simply is NOT the Holiday season until I hear these songs!