Characteristics of a Humble vs. Horrible Boss.

Characteristics of A Humble Boss:


1. Really takes the time to get to know all of the employees before getting to work and giving expectations.
2. States clearly what his/her expectations are and why.
3. Gives time for employees to learn those expectations.
4. Makes each employee feel like they are apart of the team. Values each of his/her team member's opinion.
5. Is in the trenches (work area) and does not hide behind the ivory tower (office). Rolls up sleeves when needed.
6. Addresses issues with maturity and according to company guidelines.
7. Has not forgotten his/her position before he has gotten into this position of authority.
8. Does not spend time gossiping with his/her employees about other employees.
9. Treats everyone fairly.
10. Has an open door policy, where his/her employees can voice a concern without a fear of repercussion.
11. Goes to bat for his or her employees when he feels like there is an unjust or unfair situation.
12. Praises employees for good or excellent service and job performance.
13. Has incentives for goals.
14. Is visible at the job.
15. Does not ask employees to do what he or she would not be willing to do.
16. Addresses issues in a timely fashion and clearly according to company policies not personal opinions.
17. Does not let his or personal life get in the way of his or her supervision.
18. Does not persecute or penalize an employee for their individual beliefs.
19. Is a ethical example particularly in teaching or in a religious position.
20. Gives timely and accurate feedback. Starts coaching or write ups with a positive, addresses negative behavior, then ends with a positive.

Characteristics of a Horrible Boss:

1. Just begins to start working without getting to know employees. Just starts giving orders.
2. No clear defined expectations, but employees are held accountable for them.
3. Does not give employees adequate time to learn his or her expectations.
4. Plays favorites among team members. Only ask certain employees to do special projects or assignments based on personal relationships.
5. Is never seen in the work area, but in the office. The only time you see the boss is when his her boss is around. Then they act as is they are the hardest worker there.
6. Addresses issues with an iron fist and based on personal opinions.
7. Has forgotten his/her previous position and has unrealistic expectations.
8. Gossips with employees about other employees and shares personal information with his or her colleagues.
9. Plays favorites among team members; hold team members to different standards.
10. Considers team members with different opinions as "trouble makers" or "rebels". Holds personal vendetta against employees who go to his or her superiors.
11. Is too weak or afraid to go to his/her superiors on behalf of an employee injustice or complaint. Is a corporate brownoser.
12. Never praises employees or motivates employees for excellent work. Only criticizes negative behavior.
13. Does not reward good performance.
14. Is never seen on the job, but in the office or always at meetings yet holding employees accountable for work they are not seeing.
15. Coaches or write up employees for attendance issues yet he or she takes two-hour long lunches at least twice a week.
16. Addresses employee issues two or three weeks after an incident has happened with no documentation.
17. Is constantly on the phone with friends or family or off of work for personal issues.
18. Only promotes employees who have the same personal beliefs; persecutes employees with different moral views.
19. Has no moral conduct, curses at work, tells dirty jokes.
20. Evaluations/performance appraisals are unclear, not concise and not indicative of expectations as expectations of that position have not clearly been defined. Evaluations are based on personal not professional feelings. Employees leave meetings feeling two feet tall. No positive feedback is given at the beginning or end of a meeting, performance appraisal or coaching for improvement meeting.

If you are leader, which category do you fall under? Give this to your employees anonymously. Place a box by each trait and see which section has the more check marks. You may be surprised.

Horrible Bosses

Most of us that do not have the luxury of working for ourselves, have to answer to someone in a position of power and authority, otherwise known as a "boss" or "supervisor" or "team leader". Basically, it is the person responsible for hiring and firing us, and approving our time off that kind of good stuff. For most of us that have worked for more than five years, we have probably had to deal with a lot of different bosses. You get use to one boss, they move on and you have to deal with another. Some of those bosses, you just love, some you just love to hate. We have all been there, if you do not have a boss you love to hate, you are either lying to yourself or you are truly blessed.

Most of us have had a boss that make us just loathe coming in to work. We rejoice when they call in sick or take a vacation. We dread the alarm clock going off in the morning because we know its only a matter of time before we have to come in contact with BOSS HOG. It seems like there are more horrible bosses out there now than there are good ones, based on the conversations that I have had with several close friends and family members. We are often left scratching our heads and asking the question, "Who did this person sleep with to get this position?" "Why are they my boss?" and other questions such as those. Sound familiar yet?

The simple answer is, it does not matter. It does not matter how your boss got his or her job, the simple matter is they got the job and are now your leader. While we may not like it, that is the hand we were dealt. How do we deal with these leaders. One thing to remember when dealing with a horrible boss is this, Not every person is designed to be in a power of authority or in a leadership role. When some get it, it goes to their head and that power truly magnifies the true nature of a person.

What makes a good leader? A good leader is someone who has been there, meaning they been in the trenches with you. They were once an "hourly" employee or worked your position so they stay true to you. They do not put a bunch of expectations on you that are unrealistic because they know the job you are working so they know what the job entails. They are not gonna through a bunch of high expectations on you. A horrible boss is someone who makes a bunch of demands on you and has forgotten that only a short while ago, they were in the trenches and had to work just as hard, now all of a sudden they have selective amnesia and bark that either you get the job done, or you will be held accountable. A good leader is approachable. They are someone you can go to and voice your opinion without fear of repercussions. If they are doing something wrong, they ask for input. They ask for help. However a horrible boss, is never approachable and basically sits in an "ivory tower" while his worker bees are in the trenches doing the majority of the work. This boss is never around until his or her supervisor is around then and only then do you get praise. When you go to complain, the powers that be have difficulty believing you because the boss has done such a good job of playing smoke and mirrors that they just humor your complaint, report it back to your boss, and now your boss is making your life a living hell. Now you feel as if you can't make a complaint or make waves and you have been labeled as the "troublemaker". A giant bullseye is now being placed on your back.

What do you do? How do you deal with a boss who simply does not get it. The best answer, is to do your job an do it well. Do not let your boss be an excuse for you to be a slacker. You don't want to give any ammunition to your leader to coach you, write you up, or terminate you. Be at work at least 10 minutes before your shift. Document everything that happens at work. If your boss ask to meet with you, document the meeting. Save any emails that are sent to you. Save any emails that you send to your boss. You NEVER know when they will come in handy if you are accused of being difficult.

It is also important to remember to pray for your leader. Often time a person in a position of power is not ready for such a role. Their maturity levels and personalities are truly magnified when they get into that position. Often times, God puts a person in power to show you something. Either A, he is teaching you patience and endurance or B he is using it to move you out of that place. Ask him to reveal to you what is real. You may be surprised. God maybe using that boss as a stepping stone to promote you to that next level or move you into a higher position of power. Maybe he is moving you into that position and humbling you before you get that leadership role so you know what not to do.

If you just got promoted to a position of power, remember, a true leader is a humble leader that is open-minded, fair, and confident.Don't forget where you came from. You won't get anywhere by puffing out your chest, making unrealistic demands, and backbiting. Remember, you were once there and had a horrible boss, why do the same thing? God is testing you to see if you can truly handle the blessing he has given you.

CG2

Yep! There is More!

How many of you follow this life recipe?


1 does of getting up in the morning still tired and agitated.
1 cup of coffee or energy drink
1 mindless/frustrating drive to work in rush hour traffic.
1 hour of sitting at your desk twiddling your thumbs before actually working.
3 hours of meetings and reports.
4 hours of data entry
1 hour of complaining in the break room/lounge/water cooler.
1/2 or 1 hour of mindless frustrating drive in rush hour traffic.
2 hours of crashing in front of your couch in front of the TV.
1 hour of eating a meal
1 hour of complaining to your spouse, friend, or roommate about your job.
8/9 hours of sleep.

Repeat the process next day.

How many of us follow this recipe? We go to work only to come home to gripe and moan about work and then repeat the same process. We go home and just crash in front of our couches. We sleep, we eat, we just crash and burn. Then we get up and repeat the same process. We wonder why we are sick, stressed and unhealthy. Is that all their is for ourselves? No of course not! We are so much more than our jobs, our finances and our stresses. There is a whole bunch of other stuff out their and that is called A LIFE.

Let me stress that I know of what I speak. I used to come home, flop down on the couch, maybe get enough energy to cook a meal, than go back to watching television, then drift off to sleep, only to repeat the same thing the next day. I did that for a number of years working at the bank and in the school system. I allowed my job to become my identity. So many of us do. We REFUSE to go out during the week, because it conflicts with our 12 hours of sleep we think we need so much. We refuse to do anything that conflicts with our daily routines. What is the deal?

It seems like so many of us are getting into this rut. So many people are hypertensive, prone to stress and taking our frustrations out on others. It is so not worth it. There are things to do. I am not suggesting spend a lot of money and go out get crazy during the week but there are things you can do to avoid following that dreaded recipe.

Gilrath's Go Get A Life Plan:

1.Call a friend or loved one and only talk about one or two positive things that happened at work. If you can't find anything, than talk about something else positive. Keep the conversation from focusing on your job as much.

2.Eat out with a friend or significant other. While we all understand that you have to be get up early to be at work. However, does this mean you got to go to bed before the sun comes up? Go to a happy hour and have a nice glass of wine, if you don't drink alcohol, then have a nice cup of Joe, eat an appetizer and enjoy the ambiance around you. Don't use it though as a gripe session to complain about your boss, your job, duties, etc. Focus on the positive areas of your life. It is OK to vent a little while about things that bother you, but if you can't focus on any positive areas, you might want to reevaluate your job and your life.

3.Go for a nice walk or run after work. Before you even get home, change your work clothes at work and go to the park nearby and run or walk with some headphones. That is good way to unwind right away. You are running all that negative or stress out of you and will have more energy when you get home. Do this at least two times a week. (if weather is not nice, go to an indoor gym or track.

4. Read a good book. Literature is good way to escape your real life. Read outside (if weather is right).

5. Go to weekly bible study. That is a good motivator and encourager.

Remember, life is too short and we are reminded of that everyday. Let us not continue to get comfortable and focus so much on our business minds, we are neglecting our physical, mental, and spiritual needs. All of those are vital to function. I know it is hard, but PUSH yourself. Don't just settle for complacency and fatigue. You are worth so much more.

CG2

Its Written All Over Your "Face"

When I first got Facebook, I was very excited about what it represented. To me it represented and in a lot of ways still represents open communication. It was a way for me to communicate with my friends and family without having to spend a lot of time on the phone. It allowed me time to check in with friends and family on their endeavors and their trials and tribulations as well as their triumphs. It was a way for me to laugh at funny posts, comment on world events, and popular culture and so many other things.

That was well over five years ago. Now let's fast forward to the present time. I click on my homepage and my news feed and am very disheartened by what I see and read. I am subjected to all types of inappropriate and immature conduct. I have had to unsubscribe from a lot of people's pages because I do not want to be subjected to the nonsense that I am seeing. Pretty soon, unfortunately will will have to "unfriend" some people because the unsubscribing is not doing the trick. Now I understand that people have the right to post what they want on their pages but, also people have to right not to be subjected to it. When people say things like "If you don't like what I have to say, then stay the F&&CK off my page!" Okay, that is not a problem but also remember, you are putting yourself out there for comments and feedback. You are putting your information out there in a public forum. Your words, actions, and pictures are fare game.

I know I am not the only one who feels this way as I posted my frustration on the site yesterday and got a lot of "likes" so I know that others are feeling the same way I do. How can we expect our youth to do act appropriately carry themselves with maturity when a lot of adults and parents are doing the same thing. It is time out for the madness.Now if you want to know what I am talking about, I will give you a few examples:

1. Calling someone out on Facebook: Just because it says "face" book does not mean you are talking to someone face to face. I have seen people call others out with a beef they have with that person. Example: "If this bitch, (name here) says one more thing to me I swear.." Ok. my problem with this is, how mature is this person right now? Why put your business out here like this? Are you serious? Are you not man/woman enough to talk to this person face to face? IT seems like to me, you are hiding behind your page. Whatever happened to direct confrontation? I am not advocating fighting but what happened to if your brother or sister wronged you, then address it with them one on one. What is the point of this? A lot of kids are doing this, but I see a lot of adults doing this as well.

2. All the cursing: I get that you have freedom of speech. You have the right to say what you want. However just because you have the right to say something, does not mean you always should. It takes more maturity and responsibility to use the freedom that you have been given wisely and with wisdom. The amount of profanity is ridiculous that I see on people's pages.

3. Nasty pictures: I see a lot of pictures of naked women, body parts, body fluids, and just pictures that are just ridiculous. While some I understand are viruses are spam that our beyond our control, some are just people trying to be funny and its hugely inappropriate. Is it necessary? And the sad part is, some of the people posting these pictures are not teenagers, they are adults who are my age or older. What are you doing? How old are you acting right now?

4. Drama/Drama/Drama/Raining On Parade: These are the ones that every Facebook post is negative, somber and a buzz kill. Its the one where the person is always posting the worst case scenario or trying their hardest to make everyone feel sorry for them. Is your life that bad? Is their nothing in your life that brings you joy? Seek help immediately.

5. Misspeleng of wurds: Yes that was done on purpose. I read several post that leave me scratching my head and going "huh?" Some of it is not slang. Some of it is just bad writing. Please if you want to get your point across, we should be able to read it. If you are going to tell someone off via social media, they should at least be able to decipher that you are talking about them and not be laughing at you instead.

6. Pictures of drugs: If you choose to smoke weed, that is your business, but is it necessary to post pictures of the "cush" you have smoked? Do we really need to see you getting high?

Please understand that it is not my intend to offend. I am only speaking what was laid on my heart. It is time out of this nonsense. I still enjoy Facebook as a way to post good news, communicate with friends and family and share important events, offer support and sympathy to those struggling in their trials and tribulations (death of a loved one, illness, etc) but I don't want to communicate and be involved in drama or ignorance. Your words and your pictures are a direct reflection of you. If you are someone that is always posting nasty post or posting angry or depressing rants that that is how you will be viewed. Also keep in mind right or wrong, a lot of jobs look on your pages and use that as a determining factor to hire you. Who wants to hire someone that uses social media to hurt others, talk vulgar, or be nasty. Employers may think that this is how you will be in the workplace. How is your social media any different then your outward social and professional life?

Parents, please be vigilant in checking your children's pages. It is amazing the amount of vulgarity, nasty pictures and cyber bullying that goes on on social media pages. If your child is under 18, you have every right to check their pages and see what they are posting on others pages, and what is being posted on theirs. It is a good way to filter out some bad influences and help your child if he or she is being a bad influence.

Again, do not be offended but then again if you are offended then obviously there is something to that. We can do so much better. We are worth so much more than what we are doing. Let's grow and keep moving forward.

In the spirit of love,
CG2 - The Rath of Gil

Don't Waste Time, Grow Up!

"Please don't justify yourself, it's pathetic! If you tell me to F---K off, I would have more respect for you."
Line from the movie Fatal Attraction.

Anyone that has seen that movie, knows the line. While yes, Alex Forest played by Glen Close may have been crazy certifiable squirrel bait, she did have a very good point with this statement. As I am getting older, I guess I am losing my patience with a lot of child like games and things from people who claim that they are down for you. Life is too short to deal with drama and games from people. While it is inevitable to have people cause strife in your life, some of it is so unnecessary. It is time to break down the different type of things that should no longer be accepted from friends or loved ones.

It is extremely irritating to have someone say, "Let's hang out." or "Hey bro, give me a call." Yet when you do, they do not answer the phone, respond to a text or talk behind your back. What was your purpose of telling the person that? If you do not like somebody or enjoy their company, then why would you waste their time or go through the motions of making such statements? The person you are saying this to actually thinks you like hanging out with them. Often times, people are not as fragile as we would like to think. You think that maybe you are protecting their feelings by not telling them the truth, but you are actually hurting them more in the process. If you do not enjoy somebody's company then you should let them know. You do not have to be a douchebag about it, but you can say, "Hey, we just don't have anything in common, I'd rather not hang out with you." As hurtful as it may be at first, it is more hurtful to find out from another person or third party that you feel this way. Nothing sucks more than to think you have a good friend, and then find out that you value the friendship more than they do. For me, it is not about lip service, if you don't like a person, let them know. They will get over it. You are actually freeing them and you from wasting time. They will stop texting you or making effort to do things with you. Odds are they have other people that they call on that actually do enjoy their company.
If somebody makes you mad, why not tell them? Giving someone the silent treatment or giving them the cold shoulder accomplishes what? There are far too many grown people doing this type of crap. In the long run, what do you hope to gain by doing this? How hard is it to speak on an issue you have with your brother or sister, especially if you claim to be close? If someone has wronged you, you need to speak up. Often times, the person you are mad at does not even know what they have done. They are left scratching their heads wondering, "What did I do?", or they ask you, "Are we good?", "We ok?" You tell them yes, but in your head you are cursing them out or making a conscious choice to make them work hard to figure out what he or or she has done to you. That is doing too much. Matthew 18:15-17 states,

15"If your brother sins against you,[b] go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. 16But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.'[c] 17If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

So as Christians we are supposed to address our brother/sister if he or she has wronged us. We need to speak on it and move on. Yet so many of us don't. We find it easier to talk behind their backs, stop calling them, and wishing them malice. Where is the "Christ" in that?

It is time out for high school like games. Most of you reading this are adults, it is time out for being fake. Speak about it and be about it. If you don't like me, tell me. If I have wronged you tell me. Let's talk about it in love. As Fantasia would say, "If you don't want me then don't talk to me. Go ahead and free yourself." But since some of this is about friendships, I am going to say "like" in lieu of "want". :-)

In the spirit of love,
CG2

"I'm Confident Enough To Admit I'm Flawed!"

Have you ever read a book or taken a test in English Lit. (think back some of you)

and been asked "What is our protagonist's main character flaw?", "How does this flaw affect the character?" This was not easily a one sentence or two sentence answer. Your teacher or professor was really looking for you to to put some meat (or thought) to this question and really answer it to the best of your ability. Does this sound familiar to most of you? Well, flip that and apply it to you.
Think about if you yourself was a character in a book. You were the protagonist in the story. What would be your character flaw? If the professor were to ask other students in the class what was your character flaw what would they say?
First off, I think it is important to define what a character flaw is. A character flaw is defined as:

In the creation and criticism of fictional works, a character flaw is a limitation, imperfection, problem, phobia, or deficiency present in a character who may be otherwise very functional. The flaw can be a problem that directly affects the character's actions and abilities, such as a violent temper. Alternatively, it can be a simple foible or personality defect, which affects the character's motives and social interactions, but little else.

Source - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Character_flaw

So now that you have a definition what is problem, imperfection, problem or phobia that in sense limits us in our personal growth. "Well I don't have any flaws." Some of you might be thinking that very thing that you don't have any flaws. This blog entry is probably not for you then. You probably want to go ahead and go back to la la land and when you are ready to be honest with yourself, then come back at anytime. But for the rest of us, we all have flaws. We all have something that we struggle to overcome on a daily basis but yet we still struggle. We look to God for strength and wisdom but we still struggle. Or perhaps you just don't understand what your flaw is. A major part of growing is to admit that you have issues in your life that you need to work on or improve on. What is that one issue that keeps you limited.
I am not unwilling to talk the talk here. My struggle is taking things personally. I am an emotionally charged person on a lot of levels. I admit I take it personally when people do not respond back to text messages or phone calls particularly friends and family. I begin to create all of these scenarios in my head that the person is mad or upset with me even when I have done nothing to warrant it, yet my mind continues to think it. Ironically, I am not always available to answer calls or respond to text so I should be more understanding right? Well in a perfect world, where everything made sense that would be true, but still I get upset and become frustrated when I do not hear back from people. When I get the "I'm busy" excuse I feel like it is really someone saying, "Hey you are just not worth my time right now. My lack of response should be a message to you. Reality check!"
I am beginning to understand that this is not the case with everyone and I have come a long way. I am overcoming it day by day but some days are harder than others. I think a lot of this struggle with this issue, but we are all works in progress. What is the issue in your life that you struggle with? Do you take offense easily? Do you judge others constantly? Are you a weak person that has no backbone? Are you constantly looking for trouble in the form of a fight? Do you have a giant chip on your shoulder? Whatever the issue, it is time to take inventory on yourself. Flip the question around from earlier and journal on yourself. Here is the question I want you to ask yourself.

What is my biggest character flaw? How does it set a limitation on my life? How does it impact my relationship with others? Can I overcome this?


As you begin to write, you will begin to work at taring down the walls that you have around you. Admitting to yourself that you are flawed will begin to start the process of growing and learning more about yourself. It is hard but it will be so worth it.


Have a great day. Be Blessed.
CG

Reject Rejection!

A little known fact:

Anita Baker once was a lead singer for the R&B/Detroit based group Chapter 8. The group garnered a modest R&B hit with the single "I Just Want To Be Your Girl". I am sure you hardcore R&B lovers particularly lovers of the "Quiet Storm" genre remember that song. The group was signed to the label Ariola records. The company was then sold to the label Arista, label home to such legendary artist Whitney Houston, Dionne Warwick, and "The Queen of Soul" herself Aretha Franklin. Arista and mogul Clive Davis was weighing all its options with the Ariola roster and decided to not pick up the option to renew Chapter 8 and their contract and blamed Anita Baker for not renewing.
According to Anita, Arista executives, "told me that I Could not sing..." After that Anita Baker went back to Detroit and became a receptionist at a law firm. She had medical insurance, paid vacations, and had an apartment. "Gradually, I found myself joining what I call the real world. I guess it took me a full year to get [the music industry] out of my system. I would never even play the radio- and I didn't even own a stereo!"(Nathan 348) Anita had given up on her dream and did the safe thing but God had other plans. A few years later, the record exec who used to run Ariola had formed another record label called Beverly Glenn and remembered Anita Baker's voice. He wanted to sign her IMMEDIATELY. Anita resisted because she was doing the safe thing. She did not want to step out there and face the rejection again. But when GOD has a vision and plan for your life.. he will make it happen in one way or another. Anita decided to take a chance and step out on faith.
( Excerpts Taken from the book Soulful Divas by David Nathan.


Now today Anita Baker has earned:

8 Grammy Awards
One gold and four platinum albums with sales exceeding over 12 million
A star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame

Think about our lives. How many of us like Anita had our dream rejected or suffered some type of adversity that made us just give up and throw in the towel? How many of us have allowed the naysayers in our lives to win and have the victory, when we should be looking to God for answers? What if Anita Baker had played it safe after getting that rejection from the record label? Remember, the label execs had in short told her that she "could not sing". That had to be devastating for her. To have someone in the industry tell her that. It would have been enough for anyone to just give up. In essence, Anita did give up for a while, but GOD had other plans for her. He gave her a second chance to realize the potential in herself and the potential that he saw in her. God allowed Otis Smith to come back into her life who had believed in her all those years ago. He started his record label and remembered Anita's voice. that was nothing but God. God is stronger than any rejection that man can throw at us.
Yesterday, I got my first rejection in the pursuit of my dreams. Since it was my first rejection, I felt the sting of it a little bit. I heard all of the naysayers in my head who told me that I would never make it and that I should play it safe go, "See I told you so!". I was down for a little bit, then I remembered the story that I read in Soulful Divas on Anita Baker. Record execs told her that "she could not sing". If a legendary singer such as Anita Baker was able to overcome that and go on to become one of the most revered and honored singers of our time, there is no telling what I can do, and there is no telling what you can do if you try.
Yes, we will face rejection in some form or another from publishing companies, record labels, schools that we apply to, jobs that we apply for that we are hoping to get, promotions that were awarded to someone else, and negative feedback from our families and friends, a girlfriend or boyfriend dumps us. We have to learn to reject that rejection and the rejectors :-) and keep pushing. God has a plan for our lives and if we continue to keep pushing and moving, the sky will be the limit. Anita Baker did it, so can the rest of us.
So the next time you receive a rejection letter, or get passed on that promotion, remember God is still there waiting to promote you. True promotion only comes from him anyway. There is something bigger and better waiting for you and that promotion or what you were seeking was probably going to get in the way, so REJECT that REJECTION and project your voice and say "God's got me..he is going to take me to higher heights that even I did not anticipate." Get out of that safe lane and push forward. Step out and step up. It will be so worth it in the end.
God bless.
CG

God bless.

Nathan, David. Soulful Divas. New York: Billboard Books, 1999.