We Are One

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q2lS283bmKM

We Are One!!

Well the time has come again ladies and gentlemen. It is time for another life lesson and life reflection from musical genius and soul legend, Mr. Silky Soul himself Frankie Beverly. As I was sitting here preparing to work on some things, I put on Maze’s hit song “We Are One” from 1983 and I began to think about the world and the state of affairs in our country particularly on our views and belief systems.
Last week we reflected on the eleven-year anniversary of 9/11. I think back to how unified our country was on that day. There was no Democrat vs. Republican. No Christian vs. Mormon. It was just ONE. We were one that day. We were all saddened, shocked, angry, helpless, and ultimately solidified in unity as we desperately tried to unite each other to let the enemies that attacked our country know that we would not just run and hide, we were ONE united together to fight and stand up for our country.
Now let’s fast forward to eleven years later. I am so confused as to how divided our country has become. We have forgotten the lessons of what 9/11 taught us. We began to take things personally. We started to once again hide behind our political, religious, and social beliefs and yet again used them to attack and ridicule each other. What ever happened to agree to disagree? When did our disagreement of how someone handles a policy or how he or she created something become a playground to insult each other and disrespect our leaders?
We have now become a society that allows people who claim to represent my faith to disrespect their fellow Americans by protesting at their funerals and yelling hateful, disrespectful rants at them instead of offering up prayers and sending condolences. When did this become acceptable? Just because you have the right to do something, it does not mean you should. Way too many times, people hide behind and use the First Amendment and use it as a crutch that beat people over the head with time and time again. We should that privilege wisely and respectfully and not abuse it or use it as an excuse to insult, attack, and disrespect each other.
We have political leaders that shuck so much hate towards our commander in chief. This man has been disrespected on live television (“You Lie!”) we have people who question his citizenship, call him unholy, satanic, and everything but “President”. And while I do not agree 100 percent with everything President Obama does, I cannot think of one person that I agree with all of the time yet the disrespect has got to stop. I have supervisors that I wholeheartedly disagreed with yet I never used that as vehicle to wish them death, or dish out hateful, unprofessional, and hurtful insults.

We have to go back to the tragic events of 9/11 to remember how we were all united because we have gotten so far away from that. There is discord in our families over money, authority, and disagreements. We let our pride get in the way of healing and forgiveness. Friendships become strained over miscommunication, distance, and other petty issues. Yet when a tragedy happens to someone we care about, we are falling all out and passing out, yet when the person was right near us, we could not speak, turned the other way and behaved like children. It is time out for such foolishness.

So today, as I am listening to “We Are One”, I am very grateful to Frankie Beverly for this life lesson. Like him, I “can’t understand why we treat each other in this way, taking our time with the silly, silly games we play.” I so agree. We play too many games, hide behind our opinions, our politics, and prideful attitudes. We are insulting to each other, cold towards each other, and unsupportive of others dreams and aspirations. I think back to the Maze concert that I attended last year. When “We Are One” came on, everyone was up on their feet. Every time Maze shouted out, “We Are One!” the light would scan the crown and all you saw was the entire audience with their hands up indicating the number “1.” I wish everyday could be like that. We are all God’s children. Nobody is better than the other, nobody is perfect, and we all need to unite. We are one. Thank you Frankie. This is more confirmation that your music will always, always be timeless.

We Are One!

Gil

Yes, I Am Enough..

I Am Enough!

You ever feel like there are times when you are truly not accepted for who you are? You are not smart enough, good looking enough, tough enough, man enough, woman enough, or even Christian enough. You feel the pressure to confirm to people’s idea or definition of what they think you should be. When you do not fit their profile, they think something is wrong with you or they treat you differently. Sometimes, we begin to feel the pressure by our friends, families and popular culture to fit in that we begin to confirm.

You are not enough of a man if you are not athletic, know the score to every football game, or sleeping around with a different woman each night. You are not man enough if you do not have four or five baby mammas or referring to women in derogative manners. You begin to think something is wrong with you and that you just do not measure up, because you are not fitting society’s definition of what a man should be. Sometimes you are called weak, or gay because you are not fitting the norm.
Women are not considered enough if they are not married at a certain age or have children by a certain age. They are called “old maids”, “lesbians” or “spinsters”. They are even told that is “biblical” and sinful to not be married. Women begin to feel the pressure of such foolishness that they settle for men who are abusive, unfaithful, and demeaning all to fit a norm.

There are times that you feel like your accomplishments are not enough because they are not what your friends or family deems as enough. You have dreams, goals, and aspirations that are just not realistic or practical. People don’t ask about what your aspirations are because in their eyes, it just is not something they would do, in other words it is just not enough.
In some Christian circles, you are not considered Christian enough if you are not falling out every Sunday, running up and down the aisles, saying every five minutes how much of a Christian you are. Some actually call you unsaved, unholy, and unrighteous. It is sad how people judge you and make you feel like you are just not enough, even in God’s eyes. We often forget that a lot of times your walk should be your witness. Unbelievers should see something in you that make you ask, “What is about you that is so different?” “How do I develop relationship with Christ?” So you begin to feel even ostracized in that aspect.
You have people who do everything for their families. They work hard for their kids, their parents, their siblings yet it is never, never enough. People begin to look at what you don’t do or focus on the one or two mistakes you made then what you do right. It is just not enough.
This week, I did not feel like I was enough. My accomplishments, my dreams, my life was just not enough for people. I knew that was the enemy trying to convince me of that. I know that I am enough. I like the person that I am and like me. Sometimes, I like the rest of us lose sight of that. We feel like we are just not enough to the people that matter to us. But God created all of us in his image. He thinks we are enough. You should feel like you are enough. Yes we all have things to improve on and there is growth we all need, but never feel like you are not enough. At the end of the day, you are enough.

“Because you were born…you are enough. You are worthy.” – Oprah Winfrey.

Funk Festival 2013

Funk Festival 2013. Let's do this!!

I was there for the original concert although I was in my mamma's belly. I guess that is where I got my love of 70s funk and soul music. I heard the concert was epic and everyone that I knew came near and far to attend the Funk Festival at Arrowhead Stadium (home to Kansas City Chiefs). It was a virtual who's who in funk music including Bootsy, The Brothers Johnson, The Isley Brothers, Rufus featuring Chaka Khan, Average White Band, and of course Parliament Funkadellic. My parents told me how everyone waited until almost 2 in the morning for The Mothership to land. What a good time to be had by all. My mom said that she could feel me moving around in her belly and really enjoying the music, I guess that is where I get it from. I remember sitting around in the summer enjoying the story every time my parents, aunties, and uncles would tell it. All of my aunts were there, and even a few of my great aunts. That is what this music does, it unites the different generations. Can you say that about some of today's music?

We lost a lot of legends in 2012. I think it is time for a lot of these bands to reunite and put together a FUNK concert to the likes we have never seen and may never see again. It is time to give us hardcore music fans something we have been longing for: Funk Festival 2013. It could happen, it needs to happen. It would be great. This would be me lineup. I hope some of them are reading:

Earth, Wind & Fire (including Maurice White)
The Isley Brothers
Rufus featuring Chaka Khan
Bootsy
P-Funk All Stars
Slave with Steve Arrington
The Brothers Johnson
The Commodores (with Lionel Richie)
L.T.D
Charlie Wilson
Bar-Kays
George Duke
Cameo
Con Funk Shun

With your emcees: Steve Harvey, Cederic The Entertainer, Tom Joyner & Sinbad

Would that not be legendary? And all of these groups could do so. I would love to see Commodores reunite. Chaka Khan could do some shows with Rufus. Jeffery Osborne could reach out to L.T.D as could Steve Arrington and Slave. A lot of these groups disbanded or split due to infighting or struggles. I say it is high time to leave all of that behind and reunite one last time. Lionel Richie has tried to reunite The Commodores, but part of the band refused. Can you imagine all of these acts together under one stage again? Our parents, grandparents, and a lot us young adults would be ecstatic! So if you are reading this FUNK BANDS, think about it. What would you have to lose? It would be an all day festival and it would mean so much to your hardcore funkateer fans.

No Need To Get Political

So it is August 2012. It seems like we have just zoomed through this year. Pretty soon, we will be seeing the changing of the seasons, watching the fall leaves change color, attending harvest festivals if they have them in your towns, and of course the Presidential Election. Is anyone looking forward to it? Is anyone excited? I will say for myself, no I am not. I am not looking forward to these next few weeks of political mumbo jumbo.
The question on my mind is when did politics become so personal? It is a rarity anymore that we see people talking about the issues at hand that affect us all. Now we see people being attacked personally. Why are we allowing this?
I turn on the television and there are attack ads where one opponent is attacking the other. Rarely is seen are the ads that focus on the candidate him or herself talking about what they can do for the voters and why the voters should vote for that perspective candidate. Instead, we are subjected to what his or her opposing candidate did or did not do, their alleged professional and personal flops and mistakes. I am left scratching my head because the ad did nothing to sway my vote but because I am unsure as to what the candidate could do for me. What is the purpose?
I have heard people say, “I hate Obama!” Why? Has this man talked about your mamma, has he stole your woman? Why is it so personal? It is one thing to disagree with his politics but to go so far as to say you hate someone that you do not even know? I do not get it. We even see people attack a person’s love for the country or accuse them of not being American enough. Come on. What makes you the authority? What makes you the spokesperson for anything? The Republican National Convention come on this week, and I for one refused to watch any of it because all it probably was a rally to malign our current president instead of talking about what this candidates could do for us the voter.
We are using our political and religious views as an excuse to tare each other down and disrespect one another. Then we hide behind the First Amendment when we say offensive and demeaning things about each other. While I agree wholeheartedly with the first amendment, I believe that with it comes great responsibility (but more to come on that later) and we should always be careful.
Right now, I pass right over the news channels because all it is “Romney Vs. Obama” material. You have political analysts who have either never held a public office, or have lost repeatedly slamming both candidates with such a bitter and negative spirit, it becomes a major turn off. All of the accusations, mudslinging and bitter attitudes are distracting. I would like these candidates to focus on their party and their ticket. As Chaka Khan would say, “What Cha Gonna Do For Me?” You have to do more than just talk about what the other person has done (as a way to distract me from your lack of inexperience or ignorance) to get me to vote for you. I think politicians have become so focused on the politics that they forget about why they got into politics to begin with, and that is to bring about change and help the people that need it.
It is time to change the game in terms of how we do politics. Young people are being turned off because the races have become so bitter and negative. Just because we are on opposite sides of the fence does not mean we have to hate each other. When will start respecting what each side can bring to the table. I have respect for both parties and I do believe that both Democrats and Republicans can compliment each other. It is time for a change. No more “us vs. them” type of thinking because in the end, we all end up losing.

Family Ties That Are Too Tight

Family Ties That Are Too Tight

There is nothing like a bond with your family. All the material things, financial gains, and success you achieve are nothing without your family there to support you. Not only that, but your family is there while you are trying to achieve those things and often times when you are at a low point while trying to achieve and gain your successes. Families possess a bond that should not be broken at any time. Some people have lost loved ones and feel alone and they wish they could have a solid family unit once again. Family is everything.
But when does the family ties that we have in our lives become too much that it becomes a crutch in hinders the natural order of things? Is it even possible? The answer is yes. Sometimes we have to learn what our families are and what they are not. Some are too dependent on those family ties.
Some individuals cannot even make decisions without their family input. At a certain age, your mother and father should be just a sounding board; they have done their job in raising you. But there are some people who still cling really hard to their parents that it begins to affect their marriages and their other relationships. I have seen many male/female relationships that are affected by overbearing and domineering parents. Domineering mothers are in their sons businesses interjecting themselves into every aspect of their son’s lives. Sometimes it even causes upheaval in the relationship and the wife gets to a point where she is at the end of her rope. The mother believes she is the only that can care for her son and the wife or girlfriend is not someone who can do what she has done for all of these years. The son is so weak that both his mother and his wife are controlling him.
I have even seen some adults be so clingy to their parents that they believe that their parents are their friends and they don’t do anything with anybody else. Whether it be for financial security, or fear of missing out on something they cut ties to everyone else. These adults are so dependent on their parents that they do everything with them dinner, social events, everything. There is no separation. That is not healthy for the relationship. Parents and their children need separate friends and activities, especially as the kids get older and are adults. I am thirty-five and would not dream of spending every waking moment with my mom and dad, not that I do not love them very much but that is not healthy and not that they would want to anyway. My mother and father live a very active life and they do not need to be around their adult children every moment of every day. I love spending time with them, but they are not the only people in my life. They understand and appreciate that and do not make me feel guilty for it, but there are a lot of parents who do.
I have seen some parents have total or respect for their adult children. Some parents just show up unannounced at their children’s homes and bombard them. Some kids also have that attitude as well. They feel entitled. It is not healthy at all. Why is this happening? If you do speak up, the parents make you feel guilty so you just stop doing it and let them do it. Parents, you have to give your children space and not interject yourself into their marriages, businesses, and finances, to sum it up their personal lives. Children, you have to do the same thing as you all are grown. It is time to loosen up those family ties a bit. It is so vital to maintaining a healthy, loving adult relationship.

Your Bark Is Bigger Than Your Bite

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You ever heard people say this, “You have to know how to deal with so and so.” “Tread carefully around so and so. He or she is in a grumpy mood.” Eventually, this is the permanent mantra for this person and they develop this unapproachable, uncompassionate, sour presence. We accept the behavior because we become use to it or adapt to it. The person comes off as intimidating and threatening. We accept it because we do not want to confront it. We begin to walk around on eggshells for the people who give off these negative and funky spirits. It is so not cool.

We deal with these people at work mainly. This is the person that you have to go to their office to have them sign a document, or ask a question and you just dread it because they have the “I can’t be bothered!” attitude. They are never pleasant. You look for any type of way to deal with these people except direct face-to-face contact. They walk around the building with a negative spirit. They are always grouchy, always moody, and act as if their role or position in the company is more important than anyone else. Sound familiar? Their job is to make your job harder; they inconvenience your day to avoid being inconvenienced. The most simple task that only takes a few minutes of their time has now become a big production because they do not have the time or the energy to deal with it, so they make you wait. Do not admit that you made a mistake to the person, because then you will suffer their wrath. Their presence has become so negative that some feel like Dorothy, The Tin Man, Cowardly Lion, and the Scarecrow going to see the Wizard when they have to go these people. The question we have to ask ourselves is why are we afraid of theses types of people? What is it that they can really do to us? A majority of the time they are not even our supervisors or people we directly answer to, so our jobs are not threatened but they are just so unpleasant that we would not want to deal with them.

I think back to a mistake that I made on my last job. I had to tell the person. In hindsight, the incident was really not even my fault but I took ownership of it anyway because it was the mature thing to do. This person was so angry that they came looking for me like a teenager waiting in the parking lot for the person they are waiting to fight after school. This person made threats to me, yelled at me and shouted “It aint over!” Really? This is the type of personality that you are comfortable with? In the end, my supervisor told me not to worry about the madness and the person eventually had to begrudgingly apologize. The sad part is there are a lot of people like this at work. We do not want to call these people, ask questions, or even admit mistakes. The one thing that we and that sour person forgets is that person makes mistakes as well and when they can stand up and say that they have never made a mistake on the job, then they will have every right to gripe and moan about the mistakes that we have made.

Fast-forward to our personal lives. We have friends, cousins, aunts, uncles, and even siblings that have this intimidating spirit. They judge, critique and interject themselves into everything. You make a mistake, and they go off! This is the person that if they do not get want they want, they go off! They take jokes to heart, they take everything personal, but when they are ready to joke, you better laugh or else, however when the shoe is on the other foot, they do not find it funny and get ever so sensitive. We walk around on eggshells for these people because we have found it to be easier. As a result, the negative behaviors go on not being confronted and they continue to think that they are right in their thinking. We have gotten so complacent as a society with negative energy and negative people that we sometimes do not even notice when the negativity affects us or inhibits us. Too many people are given passes for bad behavior and it is it time out for that. If we love someone, we should be able to speak and address the issues they are inflicting on us.
We do not have to take it at work either. I no longer have a problem addressing someone who has an attitude or becomes irritate because I have asked him or her a question or need him or her to do his or her a job. I think back to a person at work that had such a nasty attitude, that I addressed it with him and when he refused to bend, I took it to his superior and needless to say the boss was not happy. In the end the negative Nick was a lot nicer to me. His bark was bigger than his bite, which is often the case with a lot of these people. When they see that you refuse to back down and put up with their crap, they change their attitude around you, but like an attack dog or wild animal, if they smell fear, they will eat you alive. Do not fall prey to their attacks.
It is time out for the negative energy we have allowed for so long to affect our professional and personal growth. Quit being an intimidating and threatening spirit. It is not cool and not professional and that reputation will stay with you for a long time to come. I would never want to be the type of person that you could not come to and share your thoughts or bark when you needed a favor or had a question. Being an intimidating, negative, rude person is nothing to be proud of, but sadly there are a lot of people who are, and there a lot of people that think it is cute to be this way. No, it is actually making you a very ugly and miserable person. Your spirit, your presence walks into the room before you do and that is not a good thing.

Time Will Reveal: The Lone Ranger

For those of you preparing to walk into your season of favor, or are beginning to embark on your journey of pursuing your dreams, harvesting your talents, and taking chances be prepared for God to reveal to you who your real friends are and who they are not. You will have some lonely days and nights. To be able to stand firm in the person you are and to be able to grow, you will discover that some of the people in your inner circle slowly but surely begin to disappear and the strong friendships that you thought you had slowly begin to crack under the pressure. It happened to me.

As I began to make the transition to move from Kansas City to Los Angeles not a lot of people understood my decision. They wanted to know why I wanted to leave everything I knew and go to a foreign land. They did not understand why. Some even told me I was being selfish because I was not thinking of others. Hmm…it is selfish to live your life to the fullest and seek out your dreams? Maybe I need to reread the dictionary to make sure I did not read the definition wrong. I think that it is selfish not to share your dreams and your talents with the rest of the world.

Even after I moved, I began to found out that some of the people who wished me well, were secretly talking behind my back asking what I was doing out in L.A and what I was doing for money, etc. I found that to be a very funny question considering the person asking was not paying any of my bills and was not responsible for my life in any shape, form or fashion. I guess I should not have been too surprised because in hindsight this person who I had thought was so much in my corner rarely asked how I was doing in pursuit of my writing goals, or even when I would talk about the gains I was making in pursuit of those dreams, the person would change the subject or muster only what seemed to be insincere enthusiasm.

“What is Chris doing out there in L.A? He is wasting his time.”


I just found out somebody that I was close to say that about me. To find out that people like this who claim to be your friends, and then do not support or encourage you is disappointing. Then I have to look at it from the aspect of not taking it personally. You cannot take it personal when you have friends, who turn on you or stop calling. The anger or shadiness that your friends and family are projecting towards you is not really about you it is about them. As I have written before, they are doing the safe thing and they are unwilling to step out on faith and take a chance and pursue their dreams and aspirations. They see you taking steps towards living your dream with no limitations and they hate it. I am finding that to be more and more true of some whom I thought had my best interest at heart.
I have even had some people tell me, “Well when you make a million dollars, share some with me.” Are you serious? Number one, I did not get into this for the sole purpose of making money. Having financial security is nice and I hope to achieve that with what I am doing, but being rich and living for material possessions has never been what I have been about. I am more interested in being happy and having a complete life and having a life that inspires others. There are a lot of people out there who have all the money in the world, yet they are miserable and lonely. Money is not everything. Some of your friends and relatives do live solely for safety and security, which is not a bad thing but it is not the only thing. To find out that a good friend was thinking so negatively about me was very disappointing but it just lets me know that I am that much closer to my victory.

“Before you see a new level of God’s favor, don’t be surprised if things come against you to try to discourage you. People may try to talk you out of dreams, to convince you to settle where you are.” – Joel Osteen from his book It’s Your Time.

That is how you know you are close. You begin to get haters and you do begin to lose friendships as I have. That has been a very tough thing for me, as I love having friends and people around me. At times, this journey has been very lonely because you do expect those people who you thought would wish you well to always be there and give you that unconditional love and support, that does not happen. I am grateful for those people who have continued to support me and encourage me. My parents are a wonderful example of that. The birthday card that they recently sent me really lifted me up. There was confirmation all over that card that showed me I was doing the right thing. I will keep that card with me whenever I get discouraged and feel alone. You have to find a muse or something that will keep you encouraged because on this road to your dream, there will be many things that will come up and try to discourage you, a big part of that will be your family and friends.
You will have those friends and family who NEVER ask about what you are doing. When you do step out and reveal some things and share some moments, they just change the subject or go to something else. Remember, you destiny is not tied to them. You do not need them to succeed. Continue to push. You will have some who claim to love you begin to talk behind your back, stop calling you on the phone or refuse to offer the support when you have asked for it repeatedly. Understand, that this is to be expected and as hard as it is, you have to move on from it. Do not marinate on it and let it stop you. For those friends that you lose, God will replace threefold. He will bring into your life friends who will offer you that unconditional understanding, and not just celebrate you during your highs, but will keep you lifted during your lows.

For those friends who like to talk behind people’s backs and offer up discouraging words, understand it will always come out. Your true spirit will always be revealed. It is a lot easier to be an encourager instead of a hater but I will continue to pray for you. This has also been a lesson for me to be a better encourager and supporter of people’s dreams and aspirations and just give a nice “How are you doing today?” It means so much and people will carry it with them much like the card that my parents gave me for my birthday.

Please continue on your journey, it will not always be easy and you will have loss but in the end, that will be a part of your testimony to encourage someone else when you are walking in your victory.

Be Encouraged!