For those of you preparing to walk into your season of favor, or are beginning to embark on your journey of pursuing your dreams, harvesting your talents, and taking chances be prepared for God to reveal to you who your real friends are and who they are not. You will have some lonely days and nights. To be able to stand firm in the person you are and to be able to grow, you will discover that some of the people in your inner circle slowly but surely begin to disappear and the strong friendships that you thought you had slowly begin to crack under the pressure. It happened to me.
As I began to make the transition to move from Kansas City to Los Angeles not a lot of people understood my decision. They wanted to know why I wanted to leave everything I knew and go to a foreign land. They did not understand why. Some even told me I was being selfish because I was not thinking of others. Hmm…it is selfish to live your life to the fullest and seek out your dreams? Maybe I need to reread the dictionary to make sure I did not read the definition wrong. I think that it is selfish not to share your dreams and your talents with the rest of the world.
Even after I moved, I began to found out that some of the people who wished me well, were secretly talking behind my back asking what I was doing out in L.A and what I was doing for money, etc. I found that to be a very funny question considering the person asking was not paying any of my bills and was not responsible for my life in any shape, form or fashion. I guess I should not have been too surprised because in hindsight this person who I had thought was so much in my corner rarely asked how I was doing in pursuit of my writing goals, or even when I would talk about the gains I was making in pursuit of those dreams, the person would change the subject or muster only what seemed to be insincere enthusiasm.
“What is Chris doing out there in L.A? He is wasting his time.”
I just found out somebody that I was close to say that about me. To find out that people like this who claim to be your friends, and then do not support or encourage you is disappointing. Then I have to look at it from the aspect of not taking it personally. You cannot take it personal when you have friends, who turn on you or stop calling. The anger or shadiness that your friends and family are projecting towards you is not really about you it is about them. As I have written before, they are doing the safe thing and they are unwilling to step out on faith and take a chance and pursue their dreams and aspirations. They see you taking steps towards living your dream with no limitations and they hate it. I am finding that to be more and more true of some whom I thought had my best interest at heart.
I have even had some people tell me, “Well when you make a million dollars, share some with me.” Are you serious? Number one, I did not get into this for the sole purpose of making money. Having financial security is nice and I hope to achieve that with what I am doing, but being rich and living for material possessions has never been what I have been about. I am more interested in being happy and having a complete life and having a life that inspires others. There are a lot of people out there who have all the money in the world, yet they are miserable and lonely. Money is not everything. Some of your friends and relatives do live solely for safety and security, which is not a bad thing but it is not the only thing. To find out that a good friend was thinking so negatively about me was very disappointing but it just lets me know that I am that much closer to my victory.
“Before you see a new level of God’s favor, don’t be surprised if things come against you to try to discourage you. People may try to talk you out of dreams, to convince you to settle where you are.” – Joel Osteen from his book It’s Your Time.
That is how you know you are close. You begin to get haters and you do begin to lose friendships as I have. That has been a very tough thing for me, as I love having friends and people around me. At times, this journey has been very lonely because you do expect those people who you thought would wish you well to always be there and give you that unconditional love and support, that does not happen. I am grateful for those people who have continued to support me and encourage me. My parents are a wonderful example of that. The birthday card that they recently sent me really lifted me up. There was confirmation all over that card that showed me I was doing the right thing. I will keep that card with me whenever I get discouraged and feel alone. You have to find a muse or something that will keep you encouraged because on this road to your dream, there will be many things that will come up and try to discourage you, a big part of that will be your family and friends.
You will have those friends and family who NEVER ask about what you are doing. When you do step out and reveal some things and share some moments, they just change the subject or go to something else. Remember, you destiny is not tied to them. You do not need them to succeed. Continue to push. You will have some who claim to love you begin to talk behind your back, stop calling you on the phone or refuse to offer the support when you have asked for it repeatedly. Understand, that this is to be expected and as hard as it is, you have to move on from it. Do not marinate on it and let it stop you. For those friends that you lose, God will replace threefold. He will bring into your life friends who will offer you that unconditional understanding, and not just celebrate you during your highs, but will keep you lifted during your lows.
For those friends who like to talk behind people’s backs and offer up discouraging words, understand it will always come out. Your true spirit will always be revealed. It is a lot easier to be an encourager instead of a hater but I will continue to pray for you. This has also been a lesson for me to be a better encourager and supporter of people’s dreams and aspirations and just give a nice “How are you doing today?” It means so much and people will carry it with them much like the card that my parents gave me for my birthday.
Please continue on your journey, it will not always be easy and you will have loss but in the end, that will be a part of your testimony to encourage someone else when you are walking in your victory.
Be Encouraged!
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