Age 35: Ba Da Ba Da Ba I'm Loving It!

Age 35: Ba Da Ba Da Ba I’m Loving It!

Someone once told me or I believe I heard it on Oprah one day that as you get older and closer to the age of 40 you stop caring so much what people think of you. I saw that and was thinking when would that happen for me? I think I have found that moment. I was blessed to turn 35 last week. As I reflected on my age, I reflected back on all the things that I was doing to please others. In some circles, I would be afraid to speak my opinion and tell the truth because I wanted to please those around me. As some of you can relate, I would be afraid to also admit failures and flaws for fear of judgment and criticism. You carry a lot of stuff inside of you because you are afraid of what others think of you especially your friends and the people that you look up to.
Somehow as you get older, that slowly but surely begins to fade. I know it has for me. I began to think why should I hold back on things that I feel or believe? I do not feel it necessary to continue to try and please everybody, because you obviously cannot. Even if you do everything right, you will still find those who complain about what you are doing. Up until recently, I would be too afraid to tell people what I was going through because past situations have indicated that people would judge me. Who cares? There is really nothing they can do to you. Also as you are in your thirties and late twenties, a lot of older adults still do not respect your opinions and thoughts because you are not on their level yet. You are still often talked to as a child, and told to do things without being asked or given, the option to say “no”. Of course you do not want to be disrespectful of your elders but that does not mean you have to be a doormat and just do everything you are told (More to come on this in my upcoming book). You have earned your right and place in this world so now you can speak on the things that you believe.
As I turned 35, I just got a new level of confidence. I no longer worry as much about what others think of me and what I am doing because my destiny is not tied to them. I am not saying that I turned 35 and then I just suddenly changed. The confidence was slowly simmering over this past year like a crock-pot, then when my birthday hit BAM it just got a little easier.
You do find those adults who have this larger than life personality and have a lot of opinions and can be a little intimidating. That is okay. You do not have to bow down to them either. Do not let these type of people put you in the background. Also as your opinions grow, do not become that person either. Know how to use your opinions and views wisely. Also as you get older you begin to speak more on the things that bother you and on the people who annoy you. I no longer feel the need to hold back on those issues as the book I just wrote proves that. I do find myself being more honest and open. Am I at 100% with it? No, of course not. I would say I more like at a 65 to 70% but for a long time I was at a 20 to 30% with no chance of increase. I think the things that I been through and the things that I have accomplished have increased my confidence and survival skills to give me the voice that I had been lacking for so long.
I happily embrace thirty-five. I no longer feel discouraged because I am not where some of my peers are financially and professionally. At this age, I am still kicking butt metaphorically speaking. I am going out there and getting mine and will continue to do so, despite what anyone thinks. Some may not agree with my decisions and my opinions but that is okay, that is what makes this world such an interesting place. I no longer feel the need to hold back on some of the opinions that I was too afraid to speak on.
So as you get older, you get wiser. What will you do with that wisdom? Will you be too afraid to use it or will you stand up and be heard? You have accomplished so much and been through so much, you deserve to do so.