"It's Mine! I Want It!" The Temper Tantrums from GOP

Warning: This article is about politics and last week’s election, if that is not your bag, you probably do not want to waste your time reading any further…


Ahh, last Tuesday, November 6, 2012,I remember that day so clearly. It was a gut-wrenching day to say the least. I remember just wanting the day to be over win or lose. I was hoping for an Obama victory, but with all the polls and commentators I could not be so sure. My best friend told me we had it in the bag, but sometimes overconfidence can be a person’s downfall, so I did not want to claim anything just yet. Then on my home from work to go vote, my mother called me. She said, “It wasn’t looking good for the POTUS (President of The United States).” I paused and asked her why. She said that Romney had the entire south. I breathed a sigh of relief and told her that was to be expected and there would be times that Romney would appear to have the lead because of the timing and the way some states had turned in their election results. I knew that the media (both right and left) would hold Ohio and Florida (the two top battleground states) dangling over our heads much like The Academy Awards keeps us watching the entire night for the Best Actor and Actress award. This was no different. Of course had they called Ohio and Florida early, we would have known the outcome of the election and of course they had to wait and string us along, as that is the nature of the business.

Then came the news that Pennsylvania went to the POTUS, then Minnesota, Michigan, and we began to know that it was looking better for Obama, not so much for Mitt Romney. Still, I sat there nervous in anticipation like a child waiting for Santa Claus to come down the chimney. I knew the prize was Ohio, my best friend Don kept saying we had it, we had it, but still no Ohio, and no Florida as they were still “too close to call.” Let me tell you by the end of the night, I was so tired of hearing those four words. Then 8pm rolled around (Pacific Time) and not surprisingly the West Coast (California, Washington, and Hawaii) came in inching Obama even closer and I was able to breath a little easier but still not convinced, we needed some more battleground states, that is when it happened, Don said “We won Ohio! 2nd Term starts now!” I was excited but not yet convinced, as I did not see it yet, then it came in on CNN and then TvOne that the POTUS was projected to be reelected, still I needed more. I knew Ohio was too close and that would not be enough for the conservatives as I knew they would contest, they would drag it out, but that did not happen. Then everything else came in all at once: Nevada, Colorado, Iowa then Virginia all going to Obama . Romney only was to get two more states Missouri and Alaska, alas it was over. Obama was to be reelected. I went through the roof in a good way. I was excited because he got a second chance. All of the efforts to oust him, discredit him, question his citizenship, call him demeaning names, threaten him, attack his wife, his policies, his children , challenge his religion were all now an effort in futility, Obama had won both the popular vote and electoral vote, it was over, it was done.

Or so I thought….

Florida was still too close to call and due to record numbers of people voting, it was going to be a while possibly two to three days. However, at this point was unfortunately, irrelevant because the POTUS had everything he needed to be reelected. I know that had to be frustrating for those people who stood in line for hours and hours only to hear that despite that fact, the incumbent had won anyway. Does not do much to dispel that statement that voting makes no difference. In Obama’s word from his victory speech, “By the way we need to fix that.” Yes sir, we certainly do. But for now, we had the victory. Our President won. He would have another four years to continue his policies and unite the nation. Mitt Romney accepted it and made a very gracious yet brief concession speech at a very somber and downfallen Romney headquarters in Boston, MA. It would have been safe to assume at that point, the worst was over. No more ads, no more political commentators commentating, no more John King from CNN touching that smart board, it was all over..

Or So I thought….

Then came all of the sore losers of the Republican Party. I was very embarrassed

for the GOP party by how some of the members of the party were acting. You immediately saw pictures over the Internet of people crying hysterically like someone had just told them their child had been murdered. Then came all of the angry rants on social media sites some from people who were very famous and others who have huge spirits of influence on countless readers, viewers and regular everyday people. I thought I had stepped into a time warp and was transformed back to 1865 when Lincoln had freed the slaves and you had people going crazy about how the “blacks” were going to ruin the country. Didn’t that sound familiar guys? The remarks were just so ridiculous here are just a few of the comments that I heard that went from just plain rude and racist to extreme and dramatic.

Donald Trump: Trump had a number of angry rants on Twitter that he has since had to remove since several of them were hugely inaccurate like this one:

“He lost the popular vote by a lot and won the election. We should have a revolution in this country!”

Trump later removed this when it was revealed that Obama had actually won the popular vote by a few million.

Sarah Palin: The Kim Kardashian of politics of course had nothing positive to say about our Commander In Chief. While talking to Greta Van Susteren, Palin went on to attack the voters and while the race had not been officially called yet in Obama’s favor, Palin at that point knew it was inevitable and rather than following Mitt Romney’s lead and being gracious she went on to what I call an attack on the voters and questioning their decision (this coming from a woman who always encourages the American people to stand up for what is right and follow their hearts):
"I just cannot believe that the majority of Americans believe that incurring more debt is good for the economy, for our children's future, for job creators. I just cannot believe that the majority of Americans believe that it's OK to ignore the constitution and not have a budget."

Karl Rove: He just flat out refused to believe the election results when Fox News called the state of Ohio and thus the election for Obama despite the fact that over 70% of the vote was in, and those remaining votes still out was in the democratic territory of Cleveland, Ohio. Yet Rove refused to believe it. Can you say denial?

Several others went to blast the American people on social media sites for doing something they always profess to have the right to do and that is to exercise their rights as an American citizen. Now sadly, a lot of the people who were for Mitt Romney reduced themselves to acting like spoiled children on the playground who were mad when they lost the softball game or even better still a child who is at the department store and throws a huge temper tantrum when they cannot get the toy or candy they wanted. You have all seen children like that. They jump up and down, yell, scream, and kick and go, “But I wanted it! It was mine! I want it now!” How many of you seen a website or seen a Romney supporter do that on Tuesday night and the following Wednesday? They threw a tantrum resorting back to the name calling such as calling the POTUS a “Muslim”, “ Anti-Christ”, and “Devil”, “Nigger”, and “ Jerk” those are just a few things I saw on social media sites. A few other sites called for Obama to impeached but yet none of the people who called for it could offer any true reason for wanting this. Others blamed “the blacks” and “those Mexicans” for it. Bill O’Reiley (another GOP sore loser) said we voted for him because we “wanted stuff”. What “stuff” are you talking about? Let me just clarify that I am a hard working, young educated African-American man who has had to work for everything I have. I have not expected nor do I expect the government to give me anything that I have not worked for. I guess people are so mad because deep down they knew that Romney did not do enough to reach African-Americans, Latinos, young people, and single women (who all voted almost unanimously for Obama).

Rather then asking the questions about why and how they can reform and change this, they attacked us, they attacked the President, and they threatened the President, and showed such bad taste and class. Any decent, God-fearing, American-loving Republican should be downright embarrassed.

I find it comical when people ask, "Why is it when someone critiques Obama, we are racist?" The answer is simple. A critique of someone would be, "I don't agree with Obamacare." This is not what I am seeing. People are calling him "Muslim" often as my friend Brandon said with such self-righteous indignation that they are implying that Muslims are inferior to them. Also, the assumption that Obama is Muslim because of his name? This is racism folks plain and simple. If his name was Bill O'Bradley we would not be even be having this conversation.

As an American, I am deeply disturbed by this chain of events. Several of the comments had racial, sexual, and condescending implications. Several of the comments had self-righteous indignations affiliated with them. I respect Mitt Romney for his gracious concession speech and so many of his followers should have followed suit. As a Christian, I am embarrassed by those who profess to be a Child of the King and then were on social media sites being so racist, so vulgar, and so superior, please know that Christian believers follow the example of Christ not man.

It is time we get our acts together on both sides. It is time out for the bickering, the blame games, and the temper tantrums. We are adults not children and we are setting a poor example. If we don’t get it right, we are going to have more of the same. It is time to grow up and all step in and come together for the sake of this country that we all claim to love so much. God is watching us, and he is not pleased.

Forward…
CG2

I'm Just Not Wired That Way

I’m Just Not Wired That Way
As I continue to walk this earth, I am growing increasingly disturbed with the way people continue to treat each other.
I was at lunch today, and I ran into a coworker who has normally really never cared to speak to me or say a kind word. Every time I see him in the hall, this person never speaks or I have to be the one to initiate the conversation. Still, the person never speaks or says anything kind. I thought that today at lunch, it might be a little different because we not at work and maybe this person would be a little different, WRONG. Of course I took the high road and politely spoke first; the person only looked at me and gave a slight yet phony grin. At first I was a little disturbed because I am not used to people not liking me or having an issue with me especially if you do not know me, but then I paused. I asked myself, “Gilrath would you really want to be friends with a person that treated others this way?” That snapped me back to reality and I was able to brush it off. You see, I am not a person that knows how to be rude to others, even to those who have been rude or have offended me personally. I am just not wired that way. I believe you gain a lot more by following the example Christ showed us by treating others with love and kindness. Sure, I am human and I do get frustrated with people, but to this day I believe I can count on one hand the people I have been unjustifiably rude to.
I have seen people be rude to others because they do not agree with the way a person is doing his or her job. While that can be frustrating it does not justify rude behavior. When I was a supervisor at a bank, I experienced a lot of rude behavior from people who did not agree with the way I was handling the job. I remember one girl actually resorted to giving me the silent treatment and was extremely disrespectful towards me in front of other co-workers and used her frustration with my job performance to justify her immature behavior. Eventually, she relented but I never looked at her the same. Situations truly magnify a person’s true nature. That was quite a learning experience. I do not understand how people can be so rude because you disagree. There have been several coworkers in the past that I did not agree with yet I was always nice to them because what was being rude, cold, aloof, and mean going to accomplish? The old saying that you catch more flies with honey then you do with vinegar is definitely a true statement.
I have seen people get mad and give silent treatments or treat people coldly when a mistake is made. You get to a point where you become afraid to make mistakes because you know that person who obviously is “mistake free” will go off and make you feel three feet tall or like you are six years old. I really hope that I am a person that you can come to and admit when you make a mistake or mess up. I am just not the kind of person that can stay mad or be rude for a long period of time especially if the incident that happened against me was not intentional. I pray I continue to be that kind of person. There are too many people walking around with an intimidating presence and that is not cool. I was under the impression that everyone made mistakes. Am I wrong?
I am careful not to be mad or be rude towards someone who thinks differently than me. Yet with this election season we are seeing more and more of that. It is no secret that I am voting for Barack Obama and I am a democrat, yet I have many friends and relatives that are Republican and are supporting Mitt Romney. That is okay with me. That is their choice as an American citizen. Yet we have so many on both sides right now being rude and mean-spirited. Donald Trump is prime example of someone who is rude and mean-spirited. I have had people harass me on Facebook, instant message, text message me and blow my page up because I support Obama. I would never harass anyone for their beliefs even if they go against mine; I am just not wired that way.
Sometimes, I tend to be on the sensitive side, I own that. I think in some ways we all need to be sensitive. We need to be more sensitive to others around us and what they are going through, sensitive to people’s ideas and beliefs. We should never feel justified in being mean or rude towards each other. Silent treatments are for elementary school kids at recess not adults. We need to be aware of how our behavior affects others and the implications for treating people rude. I like the person I am. I am glad I am not wired to be mean or rude to people, that does not make me weak though. If and when I need to get my point across to others, I can do that. It is a mistake to misinterpret my kindness and compassion for weakness. But I am not going to be rude to people for being them, I am just not wired that way and I am proud of it.
Spread love its, a lot easier.

CG2

Can't They All Just Get Along??

Atlantic Starr, Rufus featuring Chaka Khan, Con Funk Shun, Arrested Development, The Supremes, The Temptations, what do all of these groups have in common? Beside the fact that they were pioneers of their time making undeniable contributions to not just R&B but popular music and being influential to a lot of contemporary soul, pop, hip-hop, and rock artists, they have been ripped apart due to creative, financial, and personal differences. Unfortunately, it now seems that 90s legendary R&B girl group En Vogue have now been added to the list.
En Vogue was my favorite R&B group of the 90s. I loved, loved, LOVED them. I always remembered I wanted to date Cindy and Terry. I have every CD, and watched every live performance. Today, I was saddened to learn that En Vogue has now split into two different groups: one group consisting of Maxine Jones and Dawn Robinson (they will be adding two new members) and then Cindy Herron, Terry Ellis and proverbial substitute Rhona Bennett. Nobody knows what is going on internally and we are only left to speculate but it is probably a pretty good guess that there is infighting due to money, power, and creativity. It made me think of The Temptations back in the day, a group that has went through numerous challenges and ego trips starting with David Ruffin who allegedly felt he was bigger than the group. Ruffin wanted his name to be David Ruffin & The Temptations which was an unreasonable request because unlike Smokey Robinson and The Miracles and Diana Ross and the Supremes, David Ruffin was not the only lead singer. Was this the same issue that plagued Dawn Robinson? This is not En Vogue’s first round at this dramatic rodeo. Dawn Robinson has left the group off and on since 1997 striving for solo superstardom which has continued to elude her. Now sadly, Maxine Jones has joined Dawn against Terry and Maxine. It reminds me of when David Ruffin was axed from the group and then Eddie Kendrick was soon to follow. Is this the same thing happened with En Vogue. Did Jones and Robinson recent the power of Herron and Ellis, who are arguably the group’s driving force? In the Temptations, Eddie and David, and ironically David’s replacement Dennis Edwards formed their own Temptations group while Otis Williams and Melvin Franklin continued on with the original group. Can anyone see the parallels here?

In looking at all of these groups I think it is tragic that a lot of these groups that started off as friends in the neighborhood end up falling victim to the pitfalls of fame, greed, and power trips. The Supremes started off as teenage girlfriends from the Brewster Street projects in Detroit, and then were ripped apart by the attention that Motown gave to Diana Ross. We all know the story. Florence Ballard was ousted from the group and later on Diana and Mary Wilson had their own string of issues that in some way they are still working out today. Ross, Wilson, and Ballard replacement Cindy Birdsong almost came close to a reunion in 2000 but could not come together on the contracts and money. Ross “reunited” with two Supremes who she never appeared with and the public was less than enthused. The tour was a bust.

Atlantic Starr started out as a group of friends from the East coast who traveled over 2,000 miles together with only $300 in their pocket in hopes of making it big in Los Angeles. They were friends and who considered themselves more family then friends actually. Tragically, when the Lewis brothers David and Wayne began to write a majority of the songs, and consequently receive more of the money, infighting began and the group split into two sides and eventually the side without the Lewis brothers ended up leaving the group.

A similar fate happened to Con Funk Shun when their infighting actually got physical and led to a physical altercation between original group members Felton Pilate and Louis McCall resulting in Felton leaving the group. Eventually, Michael Cooper took the reins of the group and according to the T.V music documentary Unsung, ousted Louis McCall from the group for missing shows, which McCall’s wife Linda claimed was due to medical reasons.

Rufus featuring Chaka Khan was a group like no other. They were in essence a funk/soul version of rock groups Jefferson Airplane and Fleetwood Mac. No other R&B group had an all male band with a female lead. They were ahead of its time. Chaka Khan’s wild nature and stage presence would ultimately make her the focus of the group (hence the name change from Rufus to Rufus featuring Chaka Khan). Eventually creative differences began to dog this group as well and Chaka Khan began her solo career in 1978 with her R&B/Pop Anthem “I’m Every Woman” from her self-titled debut album Chaka. After her solo-debut, Khan found it harder and harder to return to Rufus (Khan was contractually obligated to return for two more Rufus albums) mainly due to creative differences. Khan wanted the freedom to explore more musical genres while Rufus and the industry execs wanted Chaka to continue on the same track. Khan reunited with Rufus in 2001 for a brief reunion but has gone on record as saying that she probably would not be doing anymore Rufus reunions save for teaming up with Rufus guitarist Tony Maiden who she does shows with occasionally. Is this as an issue of been there done that or were there just too many internal issues and infighting that have left a bitter taste in Khan’s mouth due to the stress of it all? We may never know…

Arrested Development is another group that was ahead of their time becoming a modern 90s and hip-hop version of Sly & The Family Stone, yet tragically they got in their own way. Ego’s and conflicts over power and money tore this group apart and they have struggled to find their way back to the spotlight. It has gotten so bad between certain members of the group that original member, Aerle Taree saying that there are days that she wished she never even met (group leader) Speech. Damn!

Who suffers from all of this infighting, group splits and on again/off again drama? The fans suffer. Like children of divorces parents, we have to suffer the loss of a broken up music group. Like hopeful children we wait and anticipate the day when our musical groups reunite and end the musical divorce. Yet often, it never happens because bitterness, egos, and pride win out. Most of us listen to music and attend concerts as a way of escaping our own personal dramas and stresses. Why in the world would we want to be subjected to all of this drama then? The argument made by most of these groups is that it is supposed to “be about the music.” I suppose in way that is true, but who really wants to listen to a replacement Chaka Khan with Rufus? Did the Supremes do as well without Diana Ross? Did The Commodores have the same level of success without Lionel Richie? I say it is time to get all of the egos out of the way and come together and create that magic that we the fans deserve. Honestly, a lot of members from the groups from the 60’s and 70’s are passing away and are becoming ill, and only then do the bands reunite and come together but when it is time to get into the studio, they reach an impasse. Granted, I have never been a member of a group, but I have had to work in a group at work and believe you me I know there are a lot of differences but at the end of the day it was not about me, it was not about them, it was about the finished product. I wish these groups would understand that when they argue, split, reunite, split again, add substitutes that it frustrates us the fans. I should not have to decide which En Vogue group I want to see because two are in this group and two are in the other, that is doing way too much.

These groups should think back to their early days and struggles. Think about what it took to get them to that success. Think about the fans who buy their albums, and think about the talent that God has blessed them with. Now mind you some of these situations cannot be helped. Of course The Temptations had to move on and make the tough decision to oust Ruffin, his ego got in the way and the group had to move on. It is one thing when individual members move on from a group amicably but usually that never happens. There is usually always some type of friction. Individual members should remember that even though a member sings lead a majority or a little of the time, there is no one person bigger than the group itself. I think the 1978 Jean Carne R&B hit is an appropriate here, “Don’t let it go to your head no!” Groups, your fans are waiting for you to get it together, but we will not be waiting forever. Get past the egos and the hurt feelings and remember it is about the music.

Dying Art of Yesterday

Dying Arts of Yesterday.
How many of you reflect back on your youth and childhoods and reflect back with a smile? Even some of you that did not have the most pleasant of childhoods or memories, often there is one thing, one event that you can cling to. I am constantly reminded of my childhood, my youth and the things that we used to do for fun and for entertainment. As I look at the youth of today, I am deeply concerned with their lives and the lack of energy, drive, and motivation to get things done. I think about how if they grew up with us (those of us who grew up in the 70’s, 80’s, and 90’s) they would not last a minute.

I pause back to the summers growing up in Bonner Springs. Our summers were the best of times. I remember that we would never be in the house. Because Bonner was a small community a majority of my friends and cousins were in walking distance. Growing up on Insley Ave, I was just within walking distance of Springdale, Armor, Neconi, and Highview streets. That is where all the action was. We would not be in the house texting people all day but we would actually have face to face contact with each other. We would WALK to Fun Valley Swimming Pool and that was a far walk. Sometimes if we were lucky we would get a ride with an aunt or uncle or one of our parents if they had the day off, but most of the time we would walk. We would walk downtown to the Dairy Queen or to the Dairy Dine for some treats. We would not have to wait on our parents to take us. Tell one of these kids to walk today, and they would look at you left right and sideways.

Do not even wake up Sunday nights. After we went to church in the mornings (which was a requirement in the Gilrath household) we would all meet up at 148 Armor Ave. That was the home of my late great-grandparents Arthur I. & Ruth C. Bolton. On Sunday evenings, you could not find a parking spot on the street in front of their house because the house would be full of all of our family and close family friends. I know that had to be an irritation for the neighbors as there were no driveways on Armor, but I digress. J Across the street was (and still is) the First Christian Church and they had a huge parking lot. We would entertain ourselves by playing Hide & Go Seek and Freeze Tag in that parking lot. We would have so much fun just being together. We would play for hours. Then once we got done with those games, we would go walking around the neighborhood, not to vandalize property or disrespect people but just to be together. Okay yeah, sometimes we were bad. We would go knocking on doors and run. What a rush that was. I still to this day do not know or can explain why that was so dang funny but it was a rush, I guess it was the thrill of almost getting caught. It was so much fun.


When the summers were over, that did not spoil our fun. We would still all find ways to hang together. We used to go sledding or have snowball fights. We would still be outside until the frigid cold winters would no longer allow us to do so. That is okay, we would just move the party indoors. We would walk to school if we did not have a ride. I did not get a car until after I graduated high school. I remember walking to school more than I rode to school. We would find shortcuts (who remembers the trails?) and other ways to make it to and from. I remember after school on the way home, it would be at least five to ten people always walking in a group. High School was so much fun, homecoming parades, float construction, and school dances. I remember being active in yearbook staff, track & field, Student Council, and various other clubs and activities. I made memories for myself. Then when I wanted to make a little extra money, I got a job at Wal-Mart, yet I still had time to hang with everyone. I was proud that I was able to kick it and now have the money to do it. There was such a since of accomplishment for myself being able to hold down my own after-school job.
It is so nice to have these memories. Often times on Facebook, and at our class reunions we will reminisce about our days that we had. You know stuff like, “Remember when we raced down Springdale and such and such fell?” We have dozens upon dozens of memories like those.

Now as I think about that, I think about our youth today. What is it that they will reflect back on? “Hey Bonequesha, remember when you sent me that text back in 2012?” “Remember that Little Weezy track?” The memories for youth will be dramatically different then the memories that we had, and that concerns me. It seems like a majority of youth have become so lazy, and so apathetic. They do not want to do anything that requires effort. How many times have I seen kids post on social media sites, “I’m bored! Somebody text me.” Really? I cannot remember ever using the word “bored” in my vocabulary in my youth. There was always something to do. I look at some of the kids in school now and I say to them often, “Yaw could not hang with us back in the day!” These kids who do not want to walk anywhere, or do anything unless it gratifies them instantly, are missing out on the fun we had as kids. Am I saying that their lives are useless and that they are all lazy, no of course not, but they are missing out on a lot of the fun that we had.


Number one, our parents would not allow such laziness and disrespect. Kids now are friends with their parents and tell them what they are going to do and are not going to do. We could not just eat whatever we wanted when we pleased. Parents actually cooked decent meals. I remember on Saturday’s, my father always making pancakes, and it was such a big deal for us. Now in the mornings, I see kids eating bags of hot fries and potato chips. Wow. Because we walked a lot and participated in physical activities we were healthy. Kids today because of technology and instant gratification are highly obese and unhealthy. They do not want to do anything that requires physical effort. “That’s doing too much!”, they say. I have actually seen kids complain because they have to go to the bathroom, but they do not want to walk to use it. Wow. These kids could not hang with us back in the day, nor would we want them to. Anyone lazy in our group, would get left behind, and left out. Today it has become socially acceptable and excused. “Well times have changed.” I hear that a lot. So that is the excuse now, we have gotten so used to laziness and complacency that we have lowered the expectations for our younger generations, thus adding to the problem.
Yesterday, on Facebook I proposed that all of youth from the 80’s and 90’s show the young people how to do it. We all meet back in our prospective childhood spots and show our children of today what we did. Give them NO CHOICE and NO EXCUSE. Let’s give them some of the memories that we had, they are in desperate need of it, even though they may not know it yet.

The Dying Arts & Their Replacements

Dying Art: Walking around neighborhood with cousins and neighborhood friends. Direct face to face contact. Sitting in bedroom texting friends back and forth. Replaced With: Texting some people in the same house because some kids are too lazy to go to the next room or go down the steps.

Dying Art:High school float construction and spirit week centered around Homecoming with the theme of class unity and team building. Replaced With: Cuts in programs such as these and attitudes such as “that is boring..” “That is too much work!” Schools no longer allow float construction off high school campus for safety precautions. Never was an issue back in the day.

Dying Art:School spirit and support of school teams despite winning/losing record. School spirit increased and boosted the morale of the athletic teams. Friday night games were crowded. Replaced With:Jabs, Jokes, and disrespect toward teams. “I am not going they suck! They lose!” Lack of attendance at games unless it’s a rival game with another school.

Dying Art: Physical activity such as P.E and Exercise classes being a graduation requirement. Replaced With: More focus on technology classes as the requirement. Physical Education is not required in a lot of schools now for graduation.

Dying Art: Board games that stimulated minds and required critical thinking and team building. Replaced With: Computer apps, and text messages, videos, movies, and vulgarity.

Dying Art: Respectful behavior towards elders. Youth would speak to adults first and greet their elders, teachers, older relatives. Replaced With: Adults having to speak to kids first, kids refusing to open their mouths to adults. Kids telling adults they are being “disrespectful”.

Dying Art:Being respectful of adults enough to not speak curse words, profanity, and ask
inappropriate questions to adults. Replaced With: Teens not only cursing around adults, but being so comfortable with it, they get an attitude when you ask them to stop. Some parents now curse with their kids. The lines are now so blurred.

Dying Art: After school jobs and/or chores for most teens were a requirement to learn responsibility and independence. Replaced With: Teens not being made to work and are enabled by their parents who then turn into adults who are now mooching and freeloading off of everyone.

Dying Art: Music that talked about love, togetherness. Music that had a message, sparked creativity and thinking. Music that was timeless and not outdated. Replaced With: Music that is filled with obscenity, ignorance, and hateful thoughts. Not all music is like this though and we did have music that was vulgar in our day but it has become so much of a norm now. Music is not so much a fad of today.

Dying Art:Kids being required to do chores before any type of fun activity. Given a check off list and being accountable. Replaced With: Kids telling parents that that is too much work and they should not have to do it. They are too tired after being at school all day.

Dying Art: Extra-curricular activities at school being a requirement for graduation and for colleges. Kids loved participating in extra activities.Replaced With: Extra-curricular activities/clubs being cut due to budgets cuts and due to lack of interest from teens and lack of sponsorship from overwhelmed and overworked teachers.

I want to end this by giving a shot out to the good kids that give me hope for the future for our youth. Of course you can’t do that without giving a shot out to the parents that are raising them with the values that our parents instilled in us. Not all of the youth are bad youth. We should honor and celebrate those young people more often.

Freedom of Non-Speech

While I am the first to protect the First Amendment and freedom of speech, I am very troubled by some who abuse the privilege allotted to all of us Americans. It seems that lately we have become so vulgar, so abusive, and so negative towards each other and hide behind both the First Amendment and our other personal freedoms. I am extremely discouraged by the amount of disparaging unprofessionalism that I see around me constantly.

I often hear people say, “Well this is my First Amendment right!” Really? Whenever I hear someone using extreme profanity in a professional setting or in the presence of adults I just cringe. Whenever I see hate groups talking so badly about another group that differs from them and say “This is my first amendment right” I think of Spiderman and Peter Parker’s Uncle Ben telling Peter, “With great power, comes great responsibility.” I think that is so fitting when we hide behind our constitution or your age (“I’m grown!”). Just because we have the freedom to do something does not mean we should abuse it.

When I think of negative language I think of teenagers. I am very embarrassed by the amount of profanity that I hear coming from our youth these days. I remember a time in my life being a teen and I would accidentally let slip a curse word in front of my mother, I would be so embarrassed and be so apologetic. It did not happen but twice in my life, but twice was all it took ;-). Now I listen to kids curse so much that I just get angry. There is no embarrassment. Young ladies are now okay with calling each other “bitch!” so much. They yell out rap lyrics that are filled with so much cursing and so much degradation. Now I am not writing this as a way to blame the entertainment industry for teens using such bad language, but who do we blame...I say each other. I have seen a lot of educators refuse to address the bad language and just let it go. Kids now believe it’s a normal behavior. I cannot tell you how many times I have corrected a teen from using profanity and then they say, “I can’t help it.!” The only way that you “cannot help it” is if you have Turret’s. Then some of the older teens say, “I’m grown!” I think that is rather ironic since at this very moment you are showing just how immature and how unprofessional you really are.

Hate groups hide behind the first amendment as well. We let them get away with it. I get so disgusted and irritated when I see groups protest funerals of fallen soldiers or funerals of public figures with picket signs that display so much hate and degradation towards another group of people. Then we say, “Well that is their first amendment right.” Seriously? Often times, we say that because it does not affect us directly. But yet if these people were protesting at our loved ones funerals we would be fit to be tied. Something has to be done to protect people who are grieving from these hate mongers who also profess to be Christians and representing Christ. How would God be pleased with all of this hate? Other hate groups talk about they hate “Blacks”, “Jews”, and other minorities. Then they again hide behind the constitution. Some people can make indirect threats and be protected. Where do we draw the line?

We as a nation are taking our freedoms for granted and abusing them. When we are giving privileges, we abuse them. Where is the responsibility? Where is the accountability? We allow our kids to curse and have become so complacent. Adults have so much foul language it is ridiculous. It is one thing to be a comedian or an entertainer and use that kind of language. At least when I go to a concert or play a song I know what I am going to get, and if I do not like it, I can turn it off. But when I hear profanity and hate in public setting where kids are, or at the dinner table? That is a problem. It has become such a norm that often times we are immune to it. Kids no longer have respect for the authority around them because we as adults are not holding them accountable. I cannot tell you how many mothers and fathers I hear cursing right along with their children. I have actually heard daughters call their mothers “Bitch” and then the mom calls them one back. Then don’t you tell the parent their child has been using profanity, they will look at you left, right and sideways like it is not a big deal. I remember at times calling parents at home and telling them that their son or daughter has an issue with profanity and then they go “Oh yeah, they cuss that way at home.” What??? My response would always be, “So what are we going to do about it.? You may find this behavior acceptable at home, but it is not acceptable here!” Have we really gotten to this low point?

It is never cool to have an excuse for hatred, ignorance, and violence. We hide behind our age, our laws, and dare I say it but our bibles (“God told me to say this!”) and think that God is pleased with our actions. It is time out for all of it. Again, with great power comes great responsibility. The first amendment is a wonderful thing, but let’s not abuse it, let us not hide behind it. It is time that out for it as a matter of fact, its way past due.

Pack'd My Bags, They Were At The Door!

Pack’d My Bags – Put Em At The Door!

While I did not have a lot time to think about it then, this past weekend I would have lived in Los Angeles/Long Beach for a year, it is my year anniversary. As I think about it, I reflect back to the adventure I had one year ago. It is hard to believe it has been a year, and now I am officially a Californian. I have made it one year even though some would say I would not. I made it one year, even though some turned away because they feel as if I abandoned them. I think about everything that led me to the track out here. Everything happens for a reason and everything happens for a purpose. We go through one season to prepare us for another. The last two years of my unpredictable season has led me to this moment writing here from my home in Long Beach, California.

I think back to the 1975 Rufus featuring Chaka Khan classic “Pack’d My Bags.” As I think of the first line of that song subtly belted out by Khan,

“I can tell by the look that’s in your eyes and I’m not surprised. You’ve got to move on like the sun’s got to rise, and I’m just holding you down. Cause the universe is calling you, you are one, the chosen few, you got to pay your dues.”

I think of that song in great detail because my mother told me that she was not surprised when I made the announcement to move. I also think of that song because in a way where I was at I was being held down and I was not in a position to grow. I had to move forward metaphorically and physically. The universe was indeed calling me to greatness and only in this move would I find that greatness.

I think of the road trip I embarked on. I make the soundtrack for my listening pleasure. Since it was a time for reflection, I made songs that reminded me of road trips to California and to other cities such as Dallas and Little Rock. I mapped out my entire trip. I was going to be at this city by this time, be on this road by that time, and be in California by another time. Well, it did not quite work out that way. I left a lot later than I had expected thus delaying my arrival into the golden state by one day. The first night I did not even make it to Albuquerque, New Mexico like I had anticipated. I only made it to Oklahoma City and stopped as by then it was already 12:30 in the morning. I probably could have tracked on to Amarillo, but I decided to play it safe as I did not know what road conditions would be ahead and I did not want to be on the road drowsy and risk falling asleep at the wheel (been there done that). What I finally approached the New Mexico border I was very excited. I remember travelling down interstate 40 many times growing up and being in awe of all the mountains, cactuses, and beautiful scenery. Of course back then, all I had to is ride, eat, and sleep. I did not have to drive, so I did not remember all of the adverse warnings such as, “Elk crossing”, “Dust bowls”, and “Severe Wind Gusts” it seems like as soon as I got to New Mexico I would see those signs everywhere.

I remember just being a tad bit nervous for having to drive in all of these

conditions, but those were nothing compared to the steep downgrades I had to start driving in starting in Albuquerque and going forward. While I studied and researched some of the mountain downgrades, nothing could prepare me for it. I remember I-40 being separated by the mountains and driving through mountains with nobody but me on the road and the other side of the highway being hidden by the steep mountains. It felt like I was in a scene from a movie. To say I was nervous would have been an understatement. I took my time, drove slowly much to the annoyance of others. I decided that because there were so many mountains, and steep downgrades, and that this was my first time taking a road trip by myself that I should play it safe and only really drive during the daytime hours. So I split the 27 hour trip up by 3 days driving a total of nine hours each day, delaying my trip by two days. That was okay with me. After all, it had only taken me fifteen years to get here (1996 was the year I decided I wanted to live in California) so what was a few more days? I thought that once I got to California I would be safe from all of the mountain downgrades thinking the worse was behind me in Arizona, boy was I wrong. How could I have forgotten the Cajon Pass? The Cajon Pass was a 6% downgrade that was out of Victorville, CA off the 1-15. I was never so scared in my life driving down this steep downgrade. I held on to my steering wheel like a baby clings to his mother. I drove down it like going 45 miles while getting flipped the bird, getting honked at, and getting dirty looks from passers by who were obviously used to driving down the steep mountain pass, they had to have been they were going down that thing at 75-80 m.p.h.

Once I got down the downgrade in one piece, I was in the Inland Empire and then on to the Los Angeles metro area. I slowly began to see the L.A skyline in the horizon and knew I was almost home, I had made it. I think about all of the dangerous conditions and delays that I had to endure and thought it was a perfect parallel for my life. I had a lot of dangerous conditions and delays to my success before I reached this moment, before I could to my season of favor. Once I survived all that, I could now embrace this newness. I welcomed to my new home by a nice surprise party, a few welcome gifts, and very nice dinner. I had made it. I was finally here after all of the downgrades, dust, winds, and life issues.

Fast forward to a year later, I have found a job, made lots of new friends, and have continued on the track to making my writing dreams and goals a reality. I have met celebrities such as Doug E. Fresh, Tyreece and Queen Latifah and accomplished a life long dream of mine by FINALLY being able to go on The Price is Right. Has it always been easy? Of course not. There are days where I miss my family and friends in Kansas City. There are days were I feel isolated but those days are few and far between now as I celebrate my one year anniversary. I am happy, I am blessed. I am thankful for those in California here who have embraced me. I am thankful for those in Kansas City who loved me enough to let me go to embark on this new journey, always know that KC will always be home to me.

For anyone contemplating making a move in your life, and it does not have to be a physical move but maybe a pursuit of a new job, embracing a new relationship, leaving an old relationship behind, I encourage you to DO IT. Yes there will be wind gusts, there will be steep downgrades, and there will be delays but with God on your side all things are possible and you will see your “L.A Skyline” in the horizon. Keep pushing forward.

Vain Existence

"Is my living in vain…?”

Do you ever wonder that? Do you ever think that whatever it is that you are doing is all for nothing or just a complete waste of time? Do you feel bogged down by the negative energy that is around you or the discouragement you feel others project towards you? The Longman English dictionary defines “vain” as “without success despite your efforts.” I know a lot of us feel that we put in a lot of work and there is no reward, no thanks, and no support.
When I think about things being done in vain I think of the occupation of teaching. Teachers do a lot of work in the school building but do a lot of work outside of the school day. We stay after sc after school to tutor and sponsor clubs, and on the weekends we are working where a lot of other people can deprogram and leave their 9-5 jobs at work. As an educator, we find it hard to balance our time. Most educators have wives, husbands, children, friends, family and other obligations that they have to deal with yet they are at home grading papers, creating lesson plans, reevaluating strategies, and so on. Yet a lot of the times, the job is thankless. We have children who are apathetic, lazy, and unwilling to meet us halfway in our quest to get them to learn. What do we get sometimes for our efforts? We get cursed out, yelled at, and get all types of lazy attitudes. We often wonder is it worth it? Is all the work that we are doing outside of the school day worth it? We then deal with administrators, school officials, “support” staff who demand a lot of our time requiring extra meetings, set unrealistic goals and demand we show proof of extensive lesson plans. Parents blame us for their children failing and sometimes the administrators as well. We wonder is it worth it? Why are we doing this? There is no success or so it seems. Then we get an email from a student that just recently graduated that says, “Because of you, I am successful in college.” Or “I was going to drop out, but because you cared about me. I am sticking with it.” Amazingly enough that makes it worth it. We then know our efforts were not in vain. Yet sometimes, life and other people make us question that.
Sometimes, being nice to people can be in vain. I cannot tell you the countless people that I encounter on a day-to-day basis that is unquestionably unfriendly or mean. I consider myself a very nice and positive person and I work hard to give over that image to everyone I come in contact with, but sometimes those efforts are futile. You speak to people, yet they do not speak back. You offer an encouraging word to check in with people in your life, yet you get no response. They are “too busy”. Sometimes we try to make conversations with people only to be brushed off or dismissed. You have to really know who you are to be able to maintain your persona. Sometimes, it truly does feel like nice guys do finish last. The world is so stuck on being mean and rude that if you are not careful, you will find yourself confirming to those ways.
As I think of efforts being in vain, I think about my writing career. At times, I feel as if nobody is really taking an interest in what I am doing. I feel like no matter how hard I try, I cannot get certain people to get behind me and support what I am doing and that frustrates me at times. As of the last couple of days, I felt like just giving it up and just being complacent with my 9-5 job, but something inside me keeps going and continues to get motivated to stay the course. I have to step up my game in terms of keeping this dream alive. Then when it seems like I am at my lowest in terms of throwing in the towel, someone sends me a message and tells me they were inspired by what I had just written, then I feel pumped and motivated to continue because if my writing can inspire, entertain or at times even offend people, I know that I am still walking in my purpose. I know eventually the right publisher will find me; the write people will come into my life to get me to that next level. I am human, I will get discouraged and unmotivated. There are days that I am angry at the world because I feel like the work I do is not appreciated. There are days we all feel that way if we are honest with ourselves. We get mad at the people who we feel should be supporting us and encouraging us and yet they are not. As Joel Osteen has said and I quote many times, “Understand your destiny is not tied to them. You do not need them to succeed.”
I am very grateful for the people in my life who continue to support, encourage, and also check in with me. Know that your support goes a long way. As you are continuing your dreams and working on your goals, cling to those who are giving you support. Whenever someone sends you a positive encouraging email or message, save it and print it out. I have done that. Whenever, I feel discouraged or empty, I pull those messages out and look to those to keep my juices going. Most importantly, I look to God for strength. As you feel unmotivated and feel like giving up find a scripture or inspirational quote to keep you juiced up. I found this one today and it was very helpful.
‘Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, unmovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, for as much as you know that your labor is not in vain in the Lord.” 1 Corinthians 15:58